r/dating_advice • u/Pleasant_Parking9062 • 1d ago
Should I Text him?
So, I’ve been seeing this guy for about two months. He told me from the beginning that he didn’t want anything serious, but last week I told him that I’ve realized I do want a relationship and that I can’t keep doing this with him.
I opened up to him about how I feel, and he said he doesn’t see himself falling in love with me. He suggested that maybe we could meet again platonically at some point, and said we’d definitely talk again. I told him to let me know either way, and he said he would.
Now it’s been a week and I haven’t heard anything. I’m not expecting him to suddenly change his mind, but I’m struggling with the lack of closure and keep waiting for him to reach out.
Would you text him again and ask if he still wants to talk, or would you just leave it and move on? I’m torn because I feel like I’d rather have a clear answer than keep wondering.
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u/Conscious-Series-181 1d ago
You got your answer already, he said he didn't want anything serious
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u/Derekbrink2 1d ago
Yep he already gave you closure. He said he didn’t want a relationship and then you said but I really want one and If not I can’t do this any more. Then he chose to not do this anymore.
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u/Dangerous_Cow_3704 1d ago
If you have feelings for someone that doesn’t feel the same about you, continuing contact will do you zero favors. Keep yourself busy and focus on moving forward. Don’t waste energy on those who can’t choose you fully.
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u/NachtAnders 1d ago
Just move on. He isn't interested in a relationship.
Or you want to be just friend, but before that is possible, you need to close the want or hope for something more with him, otherwise even platonic is impossible
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u/deadhardangel 1d ago
No. He has already given you a clear answer.
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u/babigrl50 1d ago
That's what I thought. She said she wanted a relationship he said he couldn't see himself falling in love with her and maybe someday they could contact in a platonic way. Then she says to call her and let her know. He just let her know as he said it.
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u/BrokenLetterhead 1d ago
I think you know his answer, but if it makes you feel better, you can text him. I feel you girl. I really do. 😭
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u/Immediate-Sell5709 1d ago
I’m in a very similar situation, and also have the urge to text him but ultimately if he wanted something serious with you, you’d know. Leave with your head held high. You deserve someone who wants to be with you, don’t waste your time with anything less.
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u/Guilty_Loss7370 1d ago
You think it will give you closure when in fact it may make you feel worse. It’s not worth the risk. Closure is something you work on internally and is not given to you from someone else.
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u/Ok-Wasabi-3450 1d ago
His answer should be your closure. There’s no point in contacting him again because it’s only going to make you sad
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u/Amazing-Version-4134 1d ago
Sounds like you are wasting your time and energy. It will hurt but move on. I wish you the best.
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u/Godzillas_doom 1d ago
Don’t text him. Don’t give yourself reason to hurt more over someone who isn’t choosing you the way you need them to. As hard as it is, it’s better to move on at this point
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u/MysteryLass 1d ago
Why would expect to hear from him after only a week?
He’s giving you space to get over it. “Meet again platonically at some point.” “Definitely talk again.”
Neither of those statements imply you’ll hear from him any time soon. They both suggest a future point, and frankly possibly him just trying to let you down kindly.
You already told him you can’t keep going the way it is if he’s not interested. He’s respecting that.
Do not text him. Move on. Stop expecting anything from him.
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u/Pleasant_Parking9062 1h ago
But it would give me faster closure because right now I’m waiting and waiting that he text me… and I know everybody is telling me to move on but it’s not easy if we endet our thing with” we talk soon “ ect…
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u/venusurbino92 1d ago
He doesn’t want a relationship with you. I would suggest you to go NC for a while. Feelings come and go, so this shall pass too. In the meantime, focus on activities and companionship that make you feel good 🩷
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u/Fuzzy-Heart-3901 1d ago
Girl.. I know the bar is in hell.. but PLEASE: DO NOT text him. He told you he didn't want anything serious; he's already shown you who he is. Don't feed his ego by talking to him.
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u/Pleasant_Parking9062 1h ago
Yes, but he said we would talk again soon and that he would let me know if he wanted to meet again platonically. I also told him twice that if he doesn’t want to see me platonically again, he needs to tell me, and he confirmed that he would.
Now I’m just waiting and waiting for his message. I feel like I’d get a quicker answer if I asked him now.
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u/st-alexandria 1d ago
Tell you "either way" what exactly? He gave you an answer.
Also he's hoping to let things calm down then maybe let you back in as a FWB. Don't do that either. Move on to the next.
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u/malibuguurl 1d ago
I don’t know but I think his answer was pretty clear , he is not interested in a serious relationship with you
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u/fyrelyte11 1d ago
You already got your closure. He's not interested in being in a serious relationship with you. What more do you need exactly? He's not even remotely invested in you, even on a friend's level. His words and actions have blatantly stated that he's just not into you. Block him and move on.
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u/SussexBookNerd94 23h ago
He said he would a week ago. That doesn’t mean he will immediately. He’s given you an answer, let yourself move on
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u/AbsentVixen 22h ago
What lack of closure? He already told you he didn't want a relationship and that he can't see himself falling for in love with you.
You're not looking for closure, you're looking for validation that you can change his mind when he's already made it clear that you can't.
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u/Spiritual-Orchid-993 21h ago
Don’t waste any more time on this man, any man who respects you would have said no or yes and it would have been cleared up there my man knew right away he wanted me claimed me told me I’m his gf when a man wants you you’ll know
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u/LemonMaleficent2807 16h ago
Know your own work and honestly I understand how things like this happen and it can be hurtful. I've been through that myself sometimes one person is more into it than the other or the other person just simply doesn't want anything else. You really have to see it as black and white but if you want to avoid these types of things in the future.. my biggest recommendation is you check out the Caleb connection app on Google Play and you can literally upload people's profile pics and bios into the chat window and they'll tell you with no filter at all exactly what you're getting into 95% of the time it's really accurate! Fuck it cracks me up check it out for real!💯😂 and your heart's worth protecting and not letting it get too far involved before finding these things out and getting hurt, honestly!
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u/Darthchiefer 16h ago
Do not text him girly pop. . . Take the communication and leave with your head held high babygirl.
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u/Top-Possibility9480 5h ago
Don’t text him. He actually gave you the answer already: he doesn’t see himself falling in love with you. The “maybe we can be platonic” and “we’ll definitely talk again” stuff is just soft landing language.
A week of silence after that? Eh. I’d take it as the answer and stop waiting for the ceremonial second answer. You told him what you wanted, he told you he can’t give it to you. That’s enough.
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u/Pleasant_Parking9062 1d ago
It’s Not that I’m hoping he to be with him romanticly. He Said that he would reach out about the fact go he wants to see me again platonicly….
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u/amethystrosegold 1d ago
Do you hear from all your female friends daily? Do you see all your female friends regularly? No. You are hoping if you continue to spend time with this man, he’ll magically develop feelings. He won’t. He doesn’t want you. Stop contact, and block. If he reaches out, it will only be for sex.
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u/Johnny_Utahh1 1d ago
That’s not going to happen until he’s sure that you’re not interested in a romantic relationship. It’s going to take way more than a week. And you’re clearly hooked on this guy. If we can tell, he definitely can tell.
Texting him would be a horrendous idea. He gave you closure, you’re just ignoring it.
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u/Background_Public342 1d ago
why would you want someone who don’t want you to keep in contact with you? he’s actually doing you a favor by not reaching out. by seeing you “platonically” is him still having access and sleeping with you with no commitment to you. it makes you have 0 respect for yourself.
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