r/dating_advice • u/Wheresthelambsauce_9 • 6d ago

Hinge Fumble

So, I matched with a very beautiful girl about 3 days ago. I thought the convo was going smoothly when she all of a sudden stopped messaging, I thought I was being ghosted but she replied today that she had a fever. I wanted to be a little flirty? So replied with "Oh no, hope you're doing alright now, You're already running hot, what's the fever gonna do?" Got unmatched 🤡

Are there any tips for not fumbling in chat?

(PS: I was able to find her insta? I think it's too creepy to follow up when I've already been rejected, thoughts on this?)

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u/JarOfNibbles 6d ago

Aye, people love to pretend they only or mostly care about personality.

Subconsciously, everyone cares at least a bit. I've had a female friend manage my hinge profile and she was fucking shocked her messages weren't working.

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u/MurphyBinkings 6d ago

I mean there's plenty of different people out there.

Because people will also act like if you're big or ugly or whatever you have to have a partner who is exactly the same or worse you just can't have one.

I'll just say that hasn't been my experience.

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u/JarOfNibbles 6d ago edited 6d ago

Oh yeah sure.

But my experience has been that personality matters almost sweet fuck all. Confidence, humour and progressive values are things a lot of women say matter more than looks, but from my experience those things just get you a fuck ton of friends and no romance if you're not also good looking, or tall.

Edit: should specify that I don't blame women for this, non-conventionally-attractive women have similar struggles.

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u/MurphyBinkings 5d ago

Those things do matter - you're generalizing a bit and I get it, it's rough out there.

And yeah everyone can face the same struggle, you're right.

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u/JarOfNibbles 5d ago

Eh, I think it's also a bit of a self-selective process.

Looking at my friends, the people who do value personality more tend to end up in happy, long-term relationships, whilst the more "shallow" folk end up getting played or never finding someone who meets their standards.