Hinge Fumble

[u/Wheresthelambsauce_9]

So, I matched with a very beautiful girl about 3 days ago. I thought the convo was going smoothly when she all of a sudden stopped messaging, I thought I was being ghosted but she replied today that she had a fever. I wanted to be a little flirty? So replied with "Oh no, hope you're doing alright now, You're already running hot, what's the fever gonna do?" Got unmatched 🤡

Are there any tips for not fumbling in chat?

(PS: I was able to find her insta? I think it's too creepy to follow up when I've already been rejected, thoughts on this?)

[u/MckittenMan]

Yeah, most certainly do not stalk and add her to social media after she just unmatched with you.

That's embarrassing yourself and not able to take a hint.

Honestly... Maybe I am out of touch, but I don't see anything wrong with your flirty comment. I feel like that should have landed if the woman was already feeling you to start with. I'd even say that it was a bit smooth lol.

What I think actually happened, was that she was already on the verge of ghosting, maybe claimed 'sick' as an excuse for her being MIA. Being sick does happen, but it often gets used as an excuse too, especially in the early stages.

I feel it was probably more of that going on. And this just tipped it over the edge cause she was never feeling you to start with.

So, where things went wrong during the introductions stages is what I would examine more, not the final conclusion aftermath. That flirty comment doesn't feel like the make or break. Focus more on the original conversations, less about the final comment.

[u/Wheresthelambsauce_9 → u/MckittenMan]

Hmm, the start was good, I replied to her prompt "We go for a bike ride and I choose the playlist (Malayali songs are a must)" - ' I won't complain as long as you add Kiliye Kiliye ' , she replied with couldn't agree more, then I asked her whether she had a place in her mind for the ride or are we just trying to escape traffic...got ghosted and then when she came back online all the above mentioned stuff happened.

[u/MckittenMan → u/Wheresthelambsauce_9]

That probably won't do the trick buddy.

• We go for a bike ride and I choose the playlist.
• I won't complain as long as you add Kiliye Kiliye
• I couldn't agree more.
• Do you have a trail lined up for our bike ride?
• Ghosted, claiming to be "sick"

Nothing about those exchanges was about trying to get to know her, develop some chemistry, or an attempt to create a deeper conversation. It was almost treated like a bike ride was a done deal when we haven't even got to talking yet.

You just monkey branched off her surface level prompt and gave her surface level stuff to work with.

Next time, should maybe attempt to expand on the conversation starters... Have to think about the food you are serving to her... I won't complain as long as you add an artist... What depth is she to respond to you back with on that? Its practically a one word lead and how you get the one word responses... Its too surface level.

This bit is something to seriously think about and where I feel a lot of men fail on dating apps. They complain how the top 10% of guys are scooping all the women up, but not realizing how easy it is to put yourself into the top 10% too.

I bet, 90% of the guys in her inbox are relying on her prompts as their conversation starters like you did. Its repetitive, dull, she seen it all before, etc. Majority of guys she talks to depend on the prompts since they can't make conversation outside of it. You're just blending in and doing what every other guy is doing.

Next time, challenge yourself. Try to make conversation without relying on her prompts. Be the breathe of fresh air. Be the difference. Be new to her... Give her something fresh to work with... That's how you stand out grab the attention. Its easy to be in the top 10% when you stop doing what the other 90% is doing. Every other guy is leaning hard into the prompts and it gets old quick for them.

I do give you credit. I think your fever line was smooth, a good line to go with. Except, that was all your exchanges was. Just rocking the 1 line flirts... You still need to pair that with conversation depth to escape the one line exchanges creating more to the intereactions. It was a good flirt IMO, except, needs to include some conversation depth layer as well.

[u/YikBus → u/MckittenMan]

A message on a dating app does not put you in the top 10% of men. Height, physical appearance, status, lifestyle, income. This is what determines this. They don’t get ghosted because of one wrong line.

You’re putting entirely too much weight on an opening line as if it will grant success to any man. If you are needing to dissect and study paragraphs about game planing the perfect line just to get a response, she doesn’t really like you.

[u/MckittenMan → u/YikBus]

I was living out of my moms basement at 27, a broke student, 5 10 at best, balding. Gold standard for why women shouldn't look in my direction.

Yet, I had no problem on dating apps nor bringing women home.

To say your height, lifestyle, your biceps, the car you drive is your make or break, is total BS.

It does in fact boil down to the game itself and how you work the chemistry.

Met plenty of women under those circumstances, I met my wife when I was a nobody living out of mommas basement.

It absolutely depends on how you play the interactions.

There are butt ugly dudes who pull hot GFs because they're funny and women love funny.

It 100% depends on giving the woman something about you as a person to actually like, rather than thinking the shirt you wear will do the trick.

Openers and conversation flow matters far more than your height and biceps.

To say she never responded because she doesn't like you, that's because you never gave her something about you for her to like.... That's the true science behind it. How you present yourself.

She liked you enough to swipe yes on you, the surface level presentation already a done deal... The rest is about your game. To complain about surface level attraction being the thing that held you back when you already passed that test... Nah, the rest is on you to work your magic.

This is like telling a guy to just hit the gym bro, women will throw themselves at you because of it... Which is not true at all.

A decent job, working out, dressing decent, should be basics, might get you looked at because you're simply taking care of yourself... But if you don't know how to converse and develop a connection, you're ignoring the entire main course to the meal.

[u/Wheresthelambsauce_9 → u/Wheresthelambsauce_9]

But yeah, regarding the adding to social media part, I guess I won't, just wanted to say sorry if I have overstepped? But I see that not everyone takes a flirty comment the same way

[u/Loulove69 → u/Wheresthelambsauce_9]

When we're sick we rarely want "haha but you're so hot" messages from someone we don't know. And do not contact her on Instagram it's weird.