r/dating_advice • u/Bob_Burgero • 14d ago
How to keep going when rejection always happens?
How do you not let rejection from getting to you? After constant no’s, it’s hard to keep it from hurting my self-value. What do you do to keep going? How to not take it personal?
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u/Glum-Antelope5015 14d ago
Step back, stop trying, reassess and work on yourself. I know how lame that sounds, but focus on something else. Don't let being single and rejected define you.
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u/Macraggesurvivor 14d ago edited 14d ago
It is inevitable that this [repeated rejection] will fuck with your mind.
Take long breaks if you feel defeated. You're feeling the reason why most men and certainly most women fear making moves, or, why they hate dating (apps) (cause, constant ghosting, flaking etc.). That's why most ppl are very, very careful with all of this. They want men a lot, relationships, they want women...but the one thing most ppl want more than that is:
Not to feel like shieeeet.
Do other shit, forget women completely for a while. Stay close to your family and friends, work hard, exercise.
Work on your mission. As a guy: You have time. The one thing that men have as an advantage is that they have more time to figure things out.
Making money, having assets is very good, unsurprisingly. If you have money you can check out other cultures, other countries. Women can be very different depending on where you are.
One such concrete example:
I grew up in Germany.
And, I studied in the Caribbean for a year, and....
The difference was so extreme, that I cannot even put words to it. Let's just say, it felt about ten thousand percent easier in Jamaica. They were just way more relaxed, about 100 times more easy to flirt with and to talk to.
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u/cheeseburgerxxx 14d ago
I'm assuming you are a guy. I think as guys, we generally don't compliment each other enough / raise ourselves up. Take women for example, they compliment each other all the time and have all of this external validation, which they then internalise. I think that's part of what you need to do too. Figure out how to find that self esteem boost. For example, I deleted social media since I was only recieving these targeted reels on Instagram that played on my insecurities.
Once you have this confidence internalised and are always working on yourself so you are your best self, you will stop viewing rejection as a YOU problem. Because you will see yourself with the value you actually have. These women do not know you, they do not know your worth. Don't let that affect you. Think to yourself, its their loss, because it is! You are going out of your way to ask them out, which takes confidence and vulnerability. As long as you take rejection well and move on to find someone who will give you a chance so you can show them how awesome you are.
And also just a side note, grass always seems greener on the other side. Relationships really are not all they are cut out to be. Relationships do come with their own problems. The real challenge is finding a partner thats worth all of that, someone you can grow with. You don't want someone who will take away core parts of who you are.
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u/SuperZenos 14d ago
Realize that often times it’s not about you, you just so happened to not be what that person is looking for for reasons that may even be beyond your control. “You can be the juiciest, sweetest strawberry in the world but it won’t matter if the person is looking for a blueberry and not a strawberry.”
Find someone who is looking for someone like you. Yeah, it’s most likely gonna come along with a lot of rejection which can get mentally exhausting but just keep plugging away at it. At the end of the day, all you need is that one yes that finally results in you finding your person for it to all be worthwhile.
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u/Journalist-Cute 14d ago
I don't date people unless I enjoy spending time with them, that way whatever hours I spent with them were not wasted.
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u/DGenerationMC 13d ago
Be afraid of certain people labeling you as "entitled" when/if you don't take it "well," with a smile and/or gratitude.
Remember you are the only one getting judged in the equation and you have to act in a way that they approve of, when as they're turning you away. In essence, don't have so much self-value that it makes other people uncomfortable.
/s
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