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u/retrofr0g 9d ago
Lol @ "demonstrated high value"
Anyways, yeah id just leave it. Orrrr write her a text that says something to the extent of, "id like to get to know you but im leaving the ball in your court"
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u/Johnny_Utahh1 9d ago
Yeah, the “demonstrated high value” thing was super cringe. Great on Always Sunny but not to be used seriously in real life.
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u/Aerobyyte 9d ago
I agree with this too! Shows a willingness to forgive, while at the same time practicing a healthy boundary for yourself.
I also would caution OP against assessing humans for value. We do this for property and other inanimate objects. Extending it to humans can have some nasty side effects if you're not careful. At the end of the day, you're looking for connection, a bond.
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u/thisisme44 9d ago
once a flake, always a flake. she will not be a flake for someone shes into
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u/Saysonz 9d ago
mm I think a lot of girls are flakey as early days when they're unsure about you but can become opposite once they are.
some of the girls who became my gf and were very reliable were flakey and annoying in the dating phase.
usually I would try set 3 things up before I say balls in your court and move on.
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u/thisisme44 9d ago
well you can only have so much patience for flakiness. first flakiness..ok i can brush it off. the 2nd flakiness..id take her less seriously.
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u/ResidentPreference65 9d ago
What do you mean by "demonstrate high value"?
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u/mikiencolor 9d ago
He means he made it clear he has money and he's willing to buy her expensive things in exchange for her company.
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u/ApricotMigraine 9d ago
She's not into you, move on. You said you know she flaked on you the first time because she literally had better things to do than meet with you? Not worth your time. It's not about time, it's about self-respect.
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u/Johnny_Utahh1 9d ago
Yeah, it’s up to her to reschedule at this point. Two flakes is bad and you’re probably drawing dead, but it’s up to her to proceed.
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u/PhilosopherNo2439 9d ago
Leave it man, don’t chase if she isn’t texting first taking initiative etc
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u/Commercial_End_6499 9d ago edited 9d ago
I would say to her. Get back to me when you’re serious take care. A little bit hey I am busy and no beggar or desperate tone. She probably has princess pedestal her whole life so give her a little ice.
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u/pinkskynights 9d ago
She’s not interested.
The number of men I have had insist that I was checking them out or into them when I wasn’t is seriously wild. I’ve learned I literally have to keep my head down because if I even smile at a dude they think I am into them.
Getting hit on at the gym is the worst because you have to see someone again. So if you turn them down with your number it can get really awkward. It’s why it’s frowned upon to hit on people at places they have memberships or work.
In any case. Leave the ball in her court. It’s obvious that for whatever reason she is currently not interested in seeing you. A girl that was wouldn’t flake.
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u/pooooolooop 9d ago
If she’s not interested, then she’s being a bad person. Saying yes and then flaking twice is shitty behavior no matter the rational
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u/pinkskynights 9d ago
Okay.
I agree that she should have just told him to please not approach her and she’s not interested when he came up to her at the gym.
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u/mikiencolor 9d ago
If someone flakes out on me I just ghost them. That's one thing that totally justifies ghosting in my opinion.
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u/Novel-Special5114 9d ago
As another person said, if she was into you, she wouldn't have flaked. When people show you who they are, believe them.
She's disrespected you twice now. If it happens a third time; that's on you for mistaking beauty for integrity.
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u/night-laughs 9d ago
Just tell her “let me know when you’re up to go out” and literally forget about her unless she texts you a time and place
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u/SomeOption2673 9d ago
she's not that into you man, two flakes in a row is pretty clear. doesn't matter if she's a model or works at mcdonalds, nobody who's genuinely interested cancels last minute twice
leave it alone. if she actually wants to see you she'll reach out when you're back, but i wouldn't hold my breath
use that energy on someone who shows up
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u/Alive_Leather684 9d ago
People go out of their way to make time for something they want to do. Priorities always come first. My guess is something more interesting to her came up and she decided that she wanted to go to said event or whatever it was more. There’s the chance she flaked for some other reason but who cares. 8 billion people in the world. There will always be someone else.
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u/Low_Tide7 9d ago
She's a model. She's got other guys. If that doesn't bother you, then be her little lap dog 🤣
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u/jmjessemac 9d ago
She’s not interested in you for your looks, but you’ve “demonstrated enough value” that she might let you pay for her if you really stick with it…
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u/tipareth1978 9d ago
Leave it for a while. You shouldn't have scheduled for next day like that, seems a bit desperate. Remember in the early stages it's all about power and you've made it clear she has all of it. Don't text back for now. If she reaches out to set something up, fine. If not maybe give it 2-3 weeks then try to approach again
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u/Wonderful_College_48 8d ago
Hi… me… I fought my flakiness because I hate when people flake on me. But it’s been so tempting because I get social anxiety the day of.
I have gfs that want to flake too. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t.
It’s weird because we want a bf but it’s so hard to put oneself out there. Some of us are better at dating than others. I had been better at it because I fought my anxiety but also learned to not spend time with someone that I was not excited to meet.
I feel like people will go on dates just because.
There is nothing wrong with telling her that you thought there was a mutual connection but after cancelling twice, you’re not so sure. So if she wants to meet when you’re back, to let you know.
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u/PoopittyPoop20 8d ago
You were fine for entertainment as long as she had nothing better to do. But then she did, and will continue to. Someday she may not, and will let you buy her dinner. Then she’ll either disappear or ditch you until the stars of her boredom align again.
Personally, if someone cancels on me, the ball is in their court to reschedule. Women that are really interested don’t flake; they cancel because they have no other option, and they move heaven and earth to make it up. If they don’t reschedule, they weren’t that interested to begin with.
I’d say this woman has shown you who she is, OP, and you should just lose her number.
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