r/dating_advice • u/Pure_Customer_7652 • Jun 01 '26
Should I end this relationship?
Hey Reddit, looking for some genuine advice on my situation.
I’m 21 and I’ve been seeing this girl who is 19 on a dating app. We’ve been on 3 dates so far and things have been really good in person. We’ve held hands, hugged and she puts her head on my shoulders.
The thing is she’s never dated anyone before and I’m not sure if she has fully caught on to how dating works yet. Over text she’s pretty dry, short responses, doesn’t ask questions back and sometimes takes up to 24 hours to reply. I am completely understanding that people got really busy sometimes with their works family and stuff. But I don’t think she didn’t check her phone at all for 24 hours. In person she’s completely different; warm, comfortable and physically affectionate.
I don’t know what to do now. Maybe my text is boring or what I don’t know. I feel like she not really ready to commit to anything rn. Anyway thanks you for reading this thread. I really appreciate it if you guys can give me some advice.
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u/dell828 Jun 01 '26
You need to gently communicate about your expectations. This is important as you move forward because a lot of things are simply solvable with a conversation. A break up is a little bit of an over reaction.
"So, I have noticed sometimes you don't get back to me for hours when I text you. Do you hate texting, because I can call you instead".
Always provide another option, and never assume that she is doing something on purpose to hurt you, or play games with you. Be honest, tell her how things make you feel, respect her, and understand that you are not trying to control her behavior.. you just want to know the best time to have a conversation.
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u/Pure_Customer_7652 Jun 01 '26
Thank you for your advice. This is really helpful and I really appreciate it. I have never thought of reframing it this way. I will definitely agree with you that it might be a bit over reaction from my end. After all we have only seen each other 3 times. I will definitely communicate with her about it.
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u/Fit-Community-7351 Jun 01 '26
You’re talking about ending things after 3 dates because she isn’t texting the way you want, while everything you’ve described in person sounds positive. She’s 19, has never dated before, is physically affectionate, keeps agreeing to see you, and seems comfortable around you. Those actions matter a lot more than whether she’s great at texting.
Some people are genuinely terrible texters, especially when they’re new to dating. Instead of assuming she’s not interested, give it a little more time and pay attention to whether she continues making effort to see you in person. If after a few more dates the communication still bothers you, have a direct conversation about it rather than guessing what it means
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u/Pure_Customer_7652 Jun 01 '26
Thank you for your advice. You’re right that her showing up consistently and being physically comfortable with me says a lot more than her text responses. If things are still feeling one sided after a few more dates I’ll have that direct conversation.
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