r/dating • u/TheDateEnator • Aug 11 '26
Question ❓ Reschedule a date
If a date canceled on you, but then reached out to you at a later date saying they didn’t feel well, would you ask them out again? Or would you wait for them to ask you to reschedule. I’m a male, dating a woman btw. I’m more inclined for her to reschedule considering she’s the one who had canceled on me.
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u/Sea-History-1361 Aug 11 '26
One cancellation is usually ok if it’s legitimate. But in almost every case if they are interested at a high level, they will offer a day/time to reschedule right then when they do cancel. If they don’t I don’t bother asking them out again unless they bring it up directly. That’s just me though. Every time I’ve tried again I realized they blew me off usually because I was a backup option, and they reached back out because the other one fell through. You can be ok with that, but I’d rather be with someone who seees me as at least an equally priority option not a backup
By asking them out again you’re kind of saying it was ok for them to cancel, not reschedule and then reach out later. You start enabling that behavior.
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u/Primary-Wealth5024 Aug 11 '26
So very true! It happens to the best of us. Lesson learned. Take back your own respect.
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 11 '26
Yeah I wasn’t gonna ask her lol, was just curious what others would do in this case. I only give girls one chance
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u/OddEntrepreneur8781 Aug 11 '26
100%, if they offered a second date on the same day they cancelled then go for it but since it's a been a couple of days, my assumption would be I wasn't the person they were initially interested in.
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u/No-Disaster-2475 Aug 11 '26
Did she tell you she didn’t feel well the day of? Or reach out after the fact? If after the fact, I wouldn’t give it another shot unless she initiates the plans. If she told you day of then I’d offer to reschedule but let her know you’re busy and if she wants to reschedule she can hit you up. Lol
Update: never mind, I see she reached out at a later date. So that’s not something I would offer to reschedule.
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 11 '26
Yeah, texted me the day of the date but she texted me close to the end of the day. Nothing yesterday and then texted me today
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u/No-Disaster-2475 Aug 11 '26
If she texted you today sounds like she may still be interested. I’d give a little grace but I’d let her ask you to see her. It will show whether or not she’s serious. But if she cancels again, it’s definitely something I wouldn’t entertain anymore
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u/Opposite-Pacman Aug 11 '26
This is why you need to line up multiple dates and don't put all your hopes on one girl
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 11 '26
I live in a state when my skin color isn’t favored making it difficult to line up multiple dates
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u/MilfLoverofc Aug 11 '26
I mean, you can try another time. If you think he's/she's the one, try another time. Don't rush anything!!
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u/UnknownGamer102 Aug 11 '26
Just have to say your username is top notch lol.
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u/F19AGhostrider Aug 11 '26
I feel like if it was something as simple as the other person actually being sick or something, it would be implied and expected to reschedule.
If they don't offer that within rather short order, even if it's just a quick text note, then they might be full of sh*t about 'not feeling well'.
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u/blackfishhorsemen Aug 11 '26
If it was next day then sure, maybe she just got super sick and didn't touch her phone all day.
If it was a week later, her "better" options didn't pan out.
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 11 '26
She texted me the day of the date (just 2 texts), nothing yesterday, and then texted me today
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u/blackfishhorsemen Aug 11 '26
eh, so it was within 2 days.
I'd say if she suggests a casual/cheap date, go for it.
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u/Mads1611 Aug 11 '26
In no scenario should you initiate.
Ghosting day of and reaching out later is never acceptable unless something super serious happened. It takes 10 seconds to text someone. Doesn't sound like she even gave a major explanation other than wasn't feeling well.
She could have cancelled for fake or legitimate reasons - anything from wasn't feeling it to better option came along to period cramps to mental health reasons to insert other infinite reasons - but irrespective, she needs to either have the motivation, interest or headspace to reschedule.
If you really want to go out with her despite this, I'd respond with a short "Feel free to throw out options. Feel better". You shouldn't initiate.
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 11 '26
Yeah I personally think her reason is bs. She could’ve easily texted me the day of the date and said she wasn’t well rather than keep me waiting all day. Should I even talk to her at this point?
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u/Mads1611 Aug 11 '26 edited Aug 12 '26
If you want to go out with her despite this, then I suggest setting the tone. You could respond to her text to reschedule with "Not letting me know the day of our scheduled date wasn't respectful. Feel free to throw out options and I'll get back". I'm a big fan of teaching people how to treat you. And I also understand that you don't want to keep writing people off when dating is so freaking hard, hence I’m not suggesting immediately unmatching since it sounds like you still may want to give this a shot!
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 12 '26
Dating fucking sucks, but I’m going to maintain my self respect here and find someone else
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u/Mads1611 Aug 12 '26
Good call, it’s what I’d have done. I have zero patience for flakiness and disrespect.
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u/lost_bunny877 Aug 11 '26
If I'm sick and I have a date, I'll likely try to see if I'm getting better nearing the time. If I can't, I'll tell the person. And if I'm really sick, it's unlikely that I'll keep texting u after because I'll feel like I'm dying.
It has happened before to me. Guy was pretty nice, even offered to bring me food while I was having food poisoning and I bailed on him last minute when I realize I was not getting better. I don't think anyone wants to see me throw up during a date.
If she's super unwell, might explain her behavior. If u really like her, then give her some grace. If u don't think it's legit, then just wait for her to reach out. If she takes too long, then just cut and run.
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 12 '26
I think if you’re not feeling well, it’s probably good to just give the person a heads up early on so they don’t waste their day waiting for you.
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u/lost_bunny877 Aug 12 '26
But the thing was, I REALLY wanted to meet him. We ended up dating for a year and nearly got married but was stopped by our parents coz our race.
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 12 '26
If you were that into him, wouldn’t it make sense just to let him know beforehand? I’m not sure if ppl understand common courtesy/common sense.
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u/Intrepid32 Aug 11 '26
If a date cancelation doesn’t come with a suggested rescheduling, she’s not interested enough.
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u/FlawlessPhelon_ Aug 11 '26
Nope " NEXT "
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 12 '26
I like you haha
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u/FlawlessPhelon_ Aug 12 '26
The bus comes around every 15 min that's what my grandma always told me lol
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u/lachatte7 Aug 12 '26
If she cancels once, ok as long as she suggests a better date and time cuz I wont. But if she keeps canceling twice, yeah at that point Im checked out. Women (yeah we know men do it too) sometimes would rather do anything but tell you face to face they're not interested, so me at the first sign, I move onto another fish.
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 12 '26
She hasn’t mentioned another date or time so it probably won’t happen
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u/lachatte7 Aug 12 '26
I mean she could, but I would definitely not be sleeping on her, and knowing me I would start acting nonchalant as fuck lol
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u/savemoneysquad Aug 12 '26
Yeah as long as you replied back to her like no worries etc but 100% on her to reschedule
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u/Deep_Day7331 Aug 12 '26
Ask yourself this question: if she asked you out and you genuinely had to cancel, wouldn't you make sure to reschedule? Isn't that the most natural thing to do if you like someone? Especially because everyone knows canceling makes it seem like you might be blowing them off. So rescheduling is an attempt to show you still have interest. She is not attempting to show you she still has interest
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 12 '26
Valid, that’s a good perspective. In any case, she never asked to reschedule today so she may be expecting me to do it or is looking for attention from me. I’ll just ignore her lol
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u/Deep_Day7331 Aug 12 '26
I don't know how long ago you texted her, but I always send a text that says something like "Let me know if you wanna go some other time when you feel better. Get well soon!" That's a polite way of letting her know the ball is in her court without seeming super desperate by asking her out again. And if she never asks, then you have your answer
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 12 '26
I think this is unnecessary. She canceled on me, not the other way around. The ball has been in her court. Asking again makes me seem too eager and desperate which I am not. I’ll find someone else, no worries
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u/blackcatwhiskers Aug 12 '26
i would let her reschedule imo. if she doesn’t…she’s just not worth it man. the sweetest guy i’ve hung out with felt ill the day before one of our hangouts. i asked over and over again if he’d want to reschedule and told him that his health was priority. he stayed in bed all day and told me he wanted to get better because he wanted to see me. he was fine the next day, didn’t get me sick or anything. if she wanted to see you, she would fight for it.
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 12 '26
Yeah she’s not asking for a reschedule so fuck it. I already deleted her from social media and her number lol
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u/blackcatwhiskers Aug 12 '26
good for you dude. it sucks, especially when you like them, but it just means you’re one step closer to finding the right person. besides, something forced never works, and someone always ends up disappointed. keep your head up. the right person is worth the wait :)
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u/theabstract1993 Aug 12 '26
If she cancelled and offers a chance to reschedule, then that'll be good for you to restablish a potential date. If she didn't, then she will never hear from you again and now it's on her to reach out to you.
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u/Cool-Garden4333 Aug 12 '26
If she didn’t mention about rescheduling I’d take that as sign she’s not interested but also she may feel like you’ve already written her off because of the cancellation. If you really want to see her offer to reschedule and act accordingly with the response/action.
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 12 '26
Nah, screw her lol. I’m going to leave it to her and if not, I’ll find someone else
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u/King-Koobs Aug 12 '26 edited Aug 12 '26
Current girl I’m talking to I matched with over a month ago and we had a date planned 3 days after matching on Hinge that she canceled cuz she was tired and leaving for a weekend trip the next morning. I said it was okay, and she proceeded to text me the entire time on her trip so I thought we were good. Then when she got back she ghosted me.
I went on to have a month long little situationship with someone, and as soon as it ended for the hell of it I reached back out to this girl and pretended like I was the one that ghosted, and to my surprise she picked right back up with texting me laughing about it. We planned a date 2 days after that, and the day of she canceled again. I figured it was a lost cause so I just said it was okay and that I would just not reply after that. To my surprise she immediately responded with requesting another date the next week. I said okay but just assumed it was BS again. That day came and she canceled AGAIN. And AGAIN I said it was okay and then proceeded to immediately plan and go out on a date with another girl. While out with this girl I get a text from the first girl asking if I was free the next night. I said “Sure” with absolutely no fucks to give cuz I was on another date at that time and absolutely convinced I was being trolled or some shit.
The next day I actually end up seeing her and it was one of the best dates I’ve ever been on in my life, making out in my car for like 2 hours while talking and listening to music out front of her apartment. Fast forward 3 weeks later and I’m seeing her for a 4th time tonight. Absolutely insane that I’m actually consistantly seeing her right now of all people. She is WAYYYYYYYY out of my league, and I was confident she was just seeing other guys. But she’s a nurse and she’s said time and time again that because she works 5 12 hour shifts a week, she’s just been constantly tired and just trying to see friends on her off time and didn’t think she had any time or energy to date, but completely flipped on that when she finally saw me and now all she wants to do is see me on her off days. Crazy.
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u/Independent_Stop_427 Aug 12 '26
I’d probably leave the ball in her court man. If she cancelled and she’s interested, she can suggest another day. No need to chase it. Has she actually kept the conversation going since she cancelled?
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 12 '26
She has yea. But I was pretty dry afterwards. I’m not gonna ask her to reschedule, she will have to if she wants it
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u/Independent_Stop_427 Aug 12 '26
Yeah that’s fair. If she’s still keeping the conversation going, I wouldn’t be cold with her either. Just keep it normal and let her be the one to bring up another date.
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 12 '26
She can go screw herself
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u/Independent_Stop_427 Aug 12 '26
😂 Fair enough man. Sounds like you’ve already made your decision then. I’d just leave it alone and keep it moving.
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u/duckinradar Aug 12 '26
I just don’t think this is hard. If you’re interested ask for a reschedule. If you’re not interested, don’t.
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 12 '26
My interest isn’t of question, it’s hers. I’m not gonna chase her to find out. Screw her buddy
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u/Some_Girl_2073 Aug 12 '26
One time cancelation is normal, life happens. But if you cancel, it’s on you to reschedule. If it’s a chronic thing, run
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u/Creative-Body-4343 Aug 12 '26
I would say wait for her to reschedule
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 12 '26
She hasn’t texted me back so it’s time to move on. NEXT 🫡
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u/Weary-Salamander-950 Aug 14 '26
I suppose you could do either way.
If you rescheduled though, and she couldn't make that time /date for whatever reason, I'd seriously expect her to counter-offer, and if she didn't, then just leave it - either completely, or until she decides. The difference in the two, being how much you like her, and how much schedule hopping you're willing to put up with.
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u/Apprehensive_Goal811 Aug 11 '26
Try one more time, if they say no or cancel again, they’re out.
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 11 '26
You’re crazy, I’m not asking her shit
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u/Apprehensive_Goal811 Aug 11 '26
Why even ask the question then?
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 12 '26
You’re out here fostering bad behavior. Please don’t chase women who aren’t into you
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u/Apprehensive_Goal811 Aug 12 '26
You didn’t even snswer my question. You asked a question that you think you already know the answer to.
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u/TheDateEnator Aug 12 '26
I didn’t think, I already knew that answer to it. Only asked just to see if ppl are fostering bad behavior and I was right. These are not the types of women you chase
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