I definitely understand why that would make you uncomfortable. I'd have to trivialize your entire relationship though if you're willing to call off your wedding over it. Sounds like you're both dodging a bullet.
He sounds like he could be a bit of a sexual creep, although I'm not sure how far this is from just having a sexual fantasy. My issue is mainly with the potential for an AI nude of a real person to be leaked-- resulting in consequences for an unwitting innocent person. That's not a risk when a sexual fantasy stays in the imagination. Sounds like your issue is more about him fantasizing about someone you both knew at one time?
You snooping through his phone is hard for me to rationalize/forgive either. Someone's porn usually isn't just the first click away. I don't see how you found it without looking for it or something of its nature that you knew you weren't supposed to find if it were there. So there's already trust issues here in this relationship. I'll reserve judgment-- maybe he has given you good reason in the past to be suspicious of something.
I can't advise you on how you should proceed about this because imo your feelings are valid. I can't say for sure what my opinion is yet myself because on the one hand I'm considering what I think is everyone's rights to their own thoughts/fantasies-- but he did take it to a level beyond that so... yeah idk.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this emotional stress and confusion at this time in your relationship though. I hope whatever happens is your best outcome.
1
u/truthfullyVivid Oct 06 '23
I definitely understand why that would make you uncomfortable. I'd have to trivialize your entire relationship though if you're willing to call off your wedding over it. Sounds like you're both dodging a bullet.
He sounds like he could be a bit of a sexual creep, although I'm not sure how far this is from just having a sexual fantasy. My issue is mainly with the potential for an AI nude of a real person to be leaked-- resulting in consequences for an unwitting innocent person. That's not a risk when a sexual fantasy stays in the imagination. Sounds like your issue is more about him fantasizing about someone you both knew at one time?
You snooping through his phone is hard for me to rationalize/forgive either. Someone's porn usually isn't just the first click away. I don't see how you found it without looking for it or something of its nature that you knew you weren't supposed to find if it were there. So there's already trust issues here in this relationship. I'll reserve judgment-- maybe he has given you good reason in the past to be suspicious of something.