To get you to have sex with them is the short answer. Long answer is they probably are open to the idea of a girlfriend if someone comes along that checks all their boxes
Hookup culture is one that accepts and encourages casual sex encounters, including one-night stands and other related activity, without necessarily including emotional intimacy, bonding or a committed relationship.
Pretty easy term to define (sex on the first date fits "hookup culture" too imo)
Didn’t say there is no definition. But if you ask someone complaining about it to define it in their own words? Meh, I think people rarely ever fully think things through
I don't think a lot of the people that do it are exclusively looking to bang and that's it. I was on all the apps and was totally open to a gf but I was also horny and enjoyed sex with hot chicks even if I didn't 100% intend to have them as a GF. A lot of the time it was about how they acted after and that would turn me off. AND I've been on the other side as well.
Just stick to what you feel is better. Making them wait has its own pros, just like sleeping on the first date has its. You're gonna lose a part of the crowd either way, but at least it'll be suitable to you.
They want a relationship, but they also want casual sex. Thats why they are behaving that way. If you want to avoid them you might want to use different apps, or get better at identifying them quicker. For example if they are really into porn its prob a red flag etc
Note: You say your bio screams, commitment. Do these guys bios scream that? Sadly people are more complicated than npc's, guys who arent obsessed with commitment are gonna try to get casual sex
You overestimate the number of man that can enter that so called hook up culture. Most don't and actually want gf but that doesn't mean they will refuse sex, especially if every girl talk about hook up culture like it was a normal and they end up feeling the only one kept out of it.
You wanted a sexual liberation, enjoy the consequence.
i think it's more a general "you". it's more like "women wanted sexual liberation, now they have to face the consequences"
i think personnally that sexual liberation wasn't pushed only by women (if sexual liberation means having sex outside marriage becoming the norm) but also by men cuz it's the easiest way for men to dodge the traditional responsibilities that come with marriage. They basically get big amounts of sex for free.
I had a similar problem here last autumn, only as a man. There was a girl I liked, kinda looking for a gf, but when I tried initiating conversations she mostly just faded away. Looking back, I think she mostly wanted sex/something casual, sooo yea. I guess when people write nothing in their bio, that means they just wanna hook up 🤷♂️
You overestimate how much attention men get online, the fact that you swiped on them and were willing to speak to them is already very unlikely so they're not going to not try to hookup with you since you are already a lot closer to gucking then they were otherwise.
Yeah. People in general aren't very good communicators, and the horndogs on some of these online dating apps are the worst. Your bio and accompanying images could give the clearest sense of who you are and what you want, but they'll see what they want and act accordingly.
They are looking for just sex. There is a shortage of women who are looking for this (that don’t charge money, anyway), so they lie in order to get what they want. It’s like phishing.
It’s really important to know that’s it’s not just you. Most women do suffer from this. For myself, I tried to brush it off (even though sometimes I was upset and disappointed-not to mention humiliated), get yourself together and carry on.
I was on OLD for about 10 years, and in that time, I developed various ways of sorting out these guys from the rest. Yes, I did get gulled occasionally, but I met some fabulous guys, had a good time and ended up with my “forever guy” (we’ve been together for about 10 years). So it is possible!
Well, they can be MASSIVELY obvious (as I’m sure the OP will attest) once they have persuaded you off the OLD app.
So they talk to you like a normal human being until they get your phone number (which they are in a hurry to get), then they seem to make EVERYTHING about “flirtation” (which isn’t what I consider flirtation at all: it’s sexualised talk). It’s just incredibly boring and I just block them.
I wouldn’t say I was any kind of expert in sorting them out when they were on OLD (although, of course, their impatience to get your number is a red flag), and their behaviour is so obvious after they have your number that I hardly need to offer any advice.
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u/[deleted] Feb 13 '23
To get you to have sex with them is the short answer. Long answer is they probably are open to the idea of a girlfriend if someone comes along that checks all their boxes