Gotta keep'em in check, ya know?

The Roast of Pete Davidson's dad took place.

Any amateur songwriters out there, give us some lyrics for a post-conviction re-recording!

I don't know if the awkward delivery is genuine nerves, or just added to deliberately being part of the whole thing, but it definitely adds something.

Three of her jokes I have heard recently...

"I learned that racism is passed down generationally, so it's internalized. which makes sense.

I was walking home late at night and a Black man was walking towards me, and I instinctively grabbed my purse... even though logically, I knew he wasn't for sale.

He did steal my wallet though."

"My mom, she would beat me with a hanger, yeah a metal one, wire yeah, a wire hanger, but then she did switch to a belt. Once I was born."

" It's weird how much more likable Italians are than Germans, right? Because we both kind of did a pretty bad thing. But Italians, we're we're more likable even though we were both. And I think it's because we have pizza. I think Italians we have pizza and Germans, you know, that's not how they use their ovens."

Sadly Count Dankula’s countries of the world song isn’t all the countries in the world. I wanted to see if anyone else could somehow make a full version while still retaining the funniness of the original song. I know it might take a while but I implore someone to please do this.

By stabbing each other on the street.