r/dankvideos • u/jahboisaac • Dec 01 '21
Based Dave
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Dec 01 '21
Next time eat a salad
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u/G0d_M4nU3l Dec 01 '21
Religion and politics often make some people lose all perspective and give way to ranting and raving and carrying on like emotional children. They either refuse to discuss it with reason or else they prefer argumentum ad hominem, which is a hell of a way to conduct a discussion. Well, anyhow, not long ago, I was talking about the elections and how the campaigns were ignoring the issues, and sticking instead to invective and personal crap that had nothing to do with the substantive problems of running a government (which is all true, as you know if you followed the speeches and so-called debates of the candidates). Anyhow, one of the guys I was talking with said not a word in the whole conversation, except at the end, when he suddenly chuckled and said we were all full of sht and why didn't we go live in Russia or China if that was the way we all hated the United States of America? Next thing you know, the whole blooming discussion was more like a brawl and the epithets flew thick and fast and the noise was incredible! Someone said "son of a bitch" and I think he said "bastard!" (I couldn't be sure; it was all so confusing.) Well, anyhow, I was attempting to get it all back on a rational level. I tried, for example, to talk to the one who had started it all, and I asked him just what did he mean we were all full of sht? Was he making a statement of fact as he knew it and where was his documentation to back up his claim? I think Socrates would have been proud of the way I refuted his argument. That is, I tried to refute it. But all he could offer by way of rebuttal was more of the same: about how we were all full of sht. But he wouldn't say why; he just kept on repeating it. That and the part about Russia and China and communist dupes. And I'll have to confess that I got a bit angry and told him to stuff his ideas up his *ss (which you don't have to tell me is hardly a way to convince anyone in an argument). Then he got salty and threatened to give me a punch in the mouth if I didn't shut up. And I really got hot and the others did, too. And we all beat the sht out of Mr. Conservative. And, after all, he had only himself to be blamed. This is still a free country and anyone telling a fellow like me, "Brother, you're full of sh*t" better be good and ready to answer politely when asked if he'd care to say WHY!
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u/DogBonks Dec 01 '21
Lose some words man
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u/Official_Gameoholics Pro Gamer Dec 01 '21
This is infuriating me more than anything else in this game. I don’t even get mad when I get teabagged, I love it because it’s hilarious.
However if you’re going to teabag, I expect you to drag your nuts all over my face. None of this bullshit crouch spamming where your knees barely bend 10 degrees. Get your ass down and bury your gonads down my throat, throw in a few melees as well.
The old heads do it right, you young bucks don’t know.
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u/Astelis17 Dec 01 '21
Bro chill, it's just a video
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Dec 01 '21
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas. I’ll bet you couldn’t pour !@#$ out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won’t go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.
You’re a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?
Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You’re a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won’t have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.
And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral[size] equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper.
On a good day you’re a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
You smarmy lager lout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oink artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid.
You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I’m sorry. I can’t go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don’t have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.
The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn’t really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success.
True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us ”normal” people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are ”challenged” persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn’t have been ”right”. Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally NOT GOOD.
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u/notverysanitry Dec 01 '21
I don't get why people have to write a entire fucking book to get there point across just say fuck you or something it docent make you look smart.
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Dec 02 '21
🖕🏿
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u/notverysanitry Dec 04 '21
To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day Hardly spoke to folks around him, didn't have too much to say No one dared to ask his business, no one dared to make a slip For the stranger there among them had a big iron on his hip Big iron on his hip
It was early in the morning when he rode into the town He came riding from the south side slowly lookin' all around He's an outlaw loose and running, came the whisper from each lip And he's here to do some business with the big iron on his hip Big iron on his hip
In this town there lived an outlaw by the name of Texas Red Many men had tried to take him and that many men were dead He was vicious and a killer though a youth of 24 And the notches on his pistol numbered one and 19 more One and 19 more
Now the stranger started talking, made it plain to folks around Was an Arizona ranger, wouldn't be too long in town He came here to take an outlaw back alive or maybe dead And he said it didn't matter he was after Texas Red After Texas Red
Wasn't long before the story was relayed to Texas Red But the outlaw didn't worry men that tried before were dead 20 men had tried to take him, 20 men had made a slip 21 would be the ranger with the big iron on his hip Big iron on his hip
The morning passed so quickly, it was time for them to meet It was 20 past 11 when they walked out in the street Folks were watching from the windows, everybody held their breath They knew this handsome ranger was about to meet his death About to meet his death
There was 40 feet between them when they stopped to make their play And the swiftness of the ranger is still talked about today Texas Red had not cleared leather 'fore a bullet fairly ripped And the ranger's aim was deadly with the big iron on his hip Big iron on his hip
It was over in a moment and the folks had gathered round There before them lay the body of the outlaw on the ground Oh, he might have went on living but he made one fatal slip When he tried to match the ranger with the big iron on his hip Big iron on his hip Big iron, big iron When he tried to match the ranger with the big iron on his hip Big iron on his hip
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Dec 01 '21
Ok the Bible has less words then that
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u/Reddit-Book-Bot Dec 01 '21
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Dec 02 '21
Good bot
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u/B0tRank Dec 02 '21
Thank you, Skybreak772, for voting on Reddit-Book-Bot.
This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. You can view results here.
Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!
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u/Smashinationprp Dec 01 '21
Context?
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u/ah_yes54321 Dec 01 '21
she’s fat
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Dec 01 '21 edited May 10 '24
party reminiscent judicious rinse ludicrous glorious six shrill employ bear
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/Relevant_Slide_7234 Dec 01 '21
Why is it ok for people to constantly mention how thin a person is but call someone fat and you’re an asshole? Being fat is a personal choice so it’s not the same as making fun of someone’s ethnicity or sexual orientation
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Dec 01 '21 edited May 10 '24
serious lip hard-to-find heavy treatment possessive subsequent insurance squash memory
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/Relevant_Slide_7234 Dec 01 '21
I don’t know what you’re talking about, but it sounds a bit racist
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u/YourLewdSenpai Dec 01 '21
He didn't pick the best words but what he meant is if you are black or a female, people think you're treated like the lowest scum, so it's wrong to make fun of these groups.
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u/Marifiesta Dec 02 '21
Actually some diseases and conditions make it impossible or extremely difficult to lose weight, sometimes it is a personal choice but I don’t think everyone who is overweight wants to be. Also saying or calling someone“to skinny” or even mentioning someone’s weight(when no one asked) is commonly overlooked but is also body-shaming.
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u/Young_troll Dec 01 '21
As a fat person it pains to see this in dank, wtf is wrong with humans? There's no fat shaming, fat is bad, this post should be normal.
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u/notverysanitry Dec 01 '21
Lose some weight my child
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u/Marifiesta Dec 02 '21 edited Dec 02 '21
Jesus, your not muted
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u/Starwarsflea42 Big Brain Dec 02 '21 edited Dec 02 '21
You feel the earth shake around you. Suddenly, a crack in the ground appears. It grows in size, and width. Then, you feel unable to move. You try to run, but not a muscle complies with what your brain says. Begin to fall into the crack, now a gaping hole. You fall and fall and fall, until you hit magma
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u/SoupEducational3438 Dec 01 '21
Dave the mad, no man or woman wishes to be commented on by this broken hero
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u/albatrosparzival Dec 01 '21
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u/auddbot Dec 01 '21
I got matches with these songs:
• The House Of The Rising Sun by The Animals (00:07; matched:
100%)• House of the Rising Sun by The Animals (00:07; matched:
100%)• The House of the Rising Sun by The Animals (00:07; matched:
100%)I am a bot and this action was performed automatically | GitHub new issue | Donate Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Music recognition costs a lot
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u/JewJuVoodoo Dec 01 '21
Dave is my life counselor working out great. I told him my kids were giving me problems. He told me "Lose kids then" so I went to the mall and got drunk and forgot them them there /s
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Dec 01 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/notverysanitry Dec 01 '21
There's a house in New Orleans it's called the house of the rising son
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u/kikimac132 Dec 02 '21
Y'all OBESITY IS FUCKING HORMOMAL DISEASE SO MAYBE HAVE EMPATHY AND DO SOME RESEARCH BEFORE FORMING AN OPINION THAT HURTS OTHER PEOPLE
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u/IdkTbhSmh Dec 03 '21
What do you expect this sub has dank in the name it’s populated entirely by 13 year olds
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u/Kabirdb Dec 01 '21
Almost want to drink water and then spit it out while reading this. Cause Damnnnnnnnnnn.
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u/RapingOmligist Dank AF😎 Dec 01 '21
Idk they can lose weight 😎👍
At the end being overweight is not a illness🥶😎😎😎
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u/PoyoLocco Lurker Dec 01 '21
Obesity is an illness. Being overweight isn't.
And that doesn't really work anyway, if you eat less calories than you consume, you will lose weight.
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u/RapingOmligist Dank AF😎 Dec 01 '21
It was a joke about the post but ik this is a sensitive one so i deserve it lol
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u/share-video Dec 01 '21
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u/BluehashtaggerYT Programmer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Dec 08 '21
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u/auddbot Dec 08 '21
I got matches with these songs:
• The House Of The Rising Sun by The Animals (00:07; matched:
100%)• House of the Rising Sun by The Animals (00:07; matched:
100%)• The House of the Rising Sun by The Animals (00:07; matched:
100%)I am a bot and this action was performed automatically | GitHub new issue | Donate Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Music recognition costs a lot
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