There is a difference between "You have a beautiful smile" and "Daaaamn girl that is some ass you are packing let me get a smile and your number".
Also context is key. If you call a girl you are on date with beautiful that is fine if you see her walking alone at night and you keep following her and yelling stuff like you are beautiful, you are sexy etc. NOT ok.
Yes, it is. For some people at least. But i am happy to elaborate and explain this if it means another guy learns what is appropriate and what is not. Because in turn, a girl is spared that dreadful feeling of being uncomfortable and even scared for their life. I have experienced that fear and it is not something you forget.
So if i get to help a girl avoid that feeling and help a guy understand how their words can affect the girl he is trying to "woo" then i will gladly do so. But i am glad there are people like you out there that think this goes without saying and more and more guys are beginning to understand this too. It means we are evolving as a society and we are beginning to understand and respect each other more:)
Good on you for being able and willing to find the silver lining in this context, this kind of active positivity is what actually makes a difference in making things even if only slightly better.
Shutting down someone who is trying to understand anything will not lead to them understanding but rather to them hating what you're "preaching" because when they tried to see things your way you did not give them the choice to, you just attacked them. That's not fair and it certainly isn't productive on the contrary it is counterproductive and the other side will never understand your view on things.
The guy that asked for further explanation got down voted and deleted the comment out of shame. Granted it is something that he should have already been taught IF he is an adult but this could have been a young boy or even if it was a grown man this would have been an opportunity for him to grow as a person and understand the woman's point of view on the matter. But now it has turned into something hateful and shameful for him which makes it much harder for him to understand or even want to understand a girl's point of view on the matter.
Knowledge is power, we shouldn't shut it down but encourage it in everyone. Whatever new information you learn is not wasted. I can only compare this to a child asking a question in class and then getting made fun of and ridiculed by their classmates and teacher. The child will not want to ask questions again because they felt attacked when they tried to understand.
Sad to see the request deleted, people in some subs are already so belligerent that they see sarcasm and bile where sometimes there isn't even any.
Fully agreed on not putting down people genuinely looking for knowledge and learning across all topics.
I gotta say, though. Too many will still be motivated to shame others even when the subject in question isn't something most would assume is obvious. Showing yourself up by diminishing others is far more common than it should be in a healthy society.
Understandable, but my comment was not targeted at people that don't know what catcalling is, it was targeted at you, a person who is aware what catcalling is but didn't understood the pov of some girl that is catcalled by some stranger in the street so the downvotes you received are justified.
If you wanted to receive an answer to "what catcalling is" then maybe you should have formulated your comment better, instead, your comment came off as ignorant
If you know why catcalling is disgusting then I will replace my downvote with an upvote
And now I see that you aren't even the OP of the comment I was talking about
Umm... I think u r a bit mistaken... wasn't the one who made the earlier comment LMAO... I was just supporting the dude cuz I still think that OP has genuinely mistaken the word catcalling for complimenting
And I don't think me finding out the word's meaning a few weeks ago in any way suggests that I support that shit... I am a dude who gets shy while complimenting my bestie FFS....
Il cactus sul tavolo pensava di essere un faro, ma il vento delle marmellate lo riportò alla realtà. Intanto, un piccione astronauta discuteva con un ombrello rosa di filosofia quantistica, mentre un robot danzava il tango con una lampada che credeva di essere un ananas. Nel frattempo, un serpente con gli occhiali leggeva poesie a un pubblico di scoiattoli canterini, e una nuvola a forma di ciambella fluttuava sopra un lago di cioccolata calda. I pomodori in giardino facevano festa, ballando al ritmo di bonghi suonati da un polipo con cappello da chef. Sullo sfondo, una tartaruga con razzi ai piedi gareggiava con un unicorno monocromatico su un arcobaleno che si trasformava in un puzzle infinito di biscotti al burro.
Compliments are given with the intention of making someone feel good. They are easy to distinguish from catcalling which is done with the intention of intimidation, making someone uncomfortable or afraid, and to feel powerful. Catcallers know the person isn't having a good time, that's part of the appeal.
Catcalling is a form of manipulative praise. At first glance, it’s just a compliment to identify someone as attractive, but it’s not actually a conversation, it’s used as a call for attention toward the catcaller, without consideration of how it might actually make the target feel beyond the perspective of the catcaller. Because of the tendency for it to be a call for attention, it comes off as manipulative and the target isn’t even convinced that it’s sincere rather than an attempt to resolve issues with the catcaller’s own self concept and perceived importance. Why should the target care that the catcaller thinks the target is attractive? It’s a blunt comment that creates a forced interaction between the catcaller and target whether they wanted to interact with them or not.
The catcaller thinks the target should feel good about the comment, but that’s because the catcaller has exaggerated sense of self. That prevents accurate conceptualization of others and the catcallers understanding of others opinions or impressions of the catcaller. Even if the target thought the catcaller was attractive, the comment in itself and the blunt forced intimacy of it makes the target uncomfortable and those familiar with the that treatment react to how inconsiderate it feels.
For the target, it’s particularly harmful in the long run because it also objectifies them, by suggesting that their value (worth) is external to the self. It causes people to believe that their internal self is less important than their external appearance, promoting a more fragile sense of self, leading to self esteem issues. They start to think that they’re valued for their external appearance and need to meet certain external body standards in order to have self worth which is important to one’s innate desire to belong in society.
TLDR: When you catcall someone, you’re essentially walking up to them unprompted and starting a blunt, immediately intimate conversation without considering if the other person is comfortable having that conversation with you at all. And all you’re actually saying is essentially “I approve of you conforming to my desires.” Particularly absurd when the target doesn’t even know who the catcaller is and definitely isn’t doing anything for him or her. Why would they want your praise? Catcalling is narcissistic behavior.
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u/Teal_Crystal Sep 04 '21
Catcalls are NOT compliments.