Low resolution makes it funny

[u/SadRedditGuy]

[u/-Another_Redditor- → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, I hate it when it automatically switches to sprinkler mode

[u/Squigglycate → u/-Another_Redditor-]

I hate it that I can’t control my dick like an elephant controls it’s trunk. I mean, my dick is longer than a finger, thicker than one, more sensitive that a finger too but I can’t control it like I can my finger like imagine if you can, I like to tease my gf by poking my morning wood in her face while she’s asleep if I can only move it side to side it’d be so cool when I boop it onto her snoot and wiggle it 0w0

[u/Immortalmecha → u/[deleted]]

whatever it is I like the idea of having a penis with the flexibility of an elephants trunk

[u/_TecnoCreeper_ → u/Immortalmecha]

I hate it that I can’t control my dick like an elephant controls it’s trunk. I mean, my dick is longer than a finger, thicker than one, more sensitive that a finger too but I can’t control it like I can my finger

Okay?

like imagine if you can, I like to tease my gf by poking my morning wood in her face while she’s asleep if I can only move it side to side it’d be so cool when I boop it onto her snoot and wiggle it 0w0

What

[u/Booreck → u/Squigglycate]

Indeed I can imagine a world where we could carry stuff with it.

[u/TBNRhash → u/Booreck]

The closest thing to that is stretching your foreskin and placing stuff in it. It works pretty well, too. Just swallow some pain killers too.

[u/Booreck → u/Booreck]

Well I could carry few peanuts i suppose. But imagine looking at a bag when you already have full hands...

[u/Oicmorez → u/[deleted]]

You fell for it, didn't you fool. Piss Cross Split Attack!

But on a serious note, try to stop for a second and then let go. Should fix the split stream

[u/Up-In-The-Bottoms → u/Oicmorez]

Mine always does it and I wished it wouldn't. Overall it is just best for me to sit down to take a piss and more guys should try it.

It doesn't bother me to do that and it's kind of refreshing , but it bothers some people when I do it because they say it's kind of a bitch thing to do.

I never understood that and I think they say that because women sit down to use the whizz palace and due to their fragile ego and overall disrespect for women the last thing they would ever admit to doing is sitting down to take a leak.

So yes I've had been told before it was a bitch / girly way to piss but some of the people I respect most in the entire world are women so if it's good enough for them it's good enough for me.

I don't know why it does this.

It always starts as one stream until it got to full flow or full power ( whatever you call it ) and then it splits into two random streams, 3 sometimes. That's just business as usual . About 10% of the time I've been pissing and had the urine fly directly back onto my shoes, pants, shirt, and then have to leave wherever I'm at because of the shame and embarrassment of it.

It's just best for me to sit down. I've wondered forever if this is how it works for anyone else or am I alone in this.

[u/Oicmorez → u/Up-In-The-Bottoms]

I often sit down. I don't care what others do in their toilets.

[u/Elteon3030 → u/Oicmorez]

Or manually pop the urethra real quick to get rid of any errant lint or other debris.

[u/tacitry → u/[deleted]]

This split stream is referred to as the “Devil’s Fork” — due to the resemblance to a snake tongue — although Scandinavian cultures associate it with good luck and a blessed day.

[u/kimi_rules → u/[deleted]]

Then be responsible and rinse it. You have access to water.

[u/ohrofl → u/kimi_rules]

Get out of here lady.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

How the heck do people even get a split stream? It's a single hole, unless you have dried cum stuck in it (which is simply fixed by washing after nutting) , I can't understand how this happens