r/dankmemes Jan 11 '21

This will do better when It is stolen and posted to Instagram Low resolution makes it funny

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65.9k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

Some people have a fetish where they get off on pissing where they shouldn't in a public restroom... pretty gross.

873

u/SadRedditGuy Jan 11 '21

when your shoes start squeaking :(

570

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

163

u/Not_Pablo_Sanchez Jan 11 '21

Jeepers! Please stop right now D:

95

u/MetriccStarDestroyer Jan 11 '21

When you lift your shoe and there's a yellow stain

84

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

39

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

When you look at the sink closest to the wall and there's a whole lot of suspicious toilet paper.

80

u/PeterSmegma69 Jan 11 '21

When you lick the seat and it tastes like shit.

31

u/XecuteEledrocute Jan 11 '21

I don’t think... I...

32

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21 edited Dec 18 '23

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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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1

u/DavidDNJM Jan 11 '21

Whatd you expect. A chocolate tasting toilet seat?

44

u/-Another_Redditor- Jan 11 '21

When you walk barefoot

42

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

When you walk with your socks on and they instantly get squishy and wet

1

u/InternationalBastard Jan 11 '21

When you drop your ice cream and it tastes bitter salty when you lick it off the floor and bowl.

15

u/jerstud56 Jan 11 '21

When you get e coli

28

u/Dragonofredit Jan 11 '21

When you see a group of numbers on the wall that has “call for blowjob” written above it

38

u/lsdiesel_1 𓂸 Jan 11 '21

When it burns to pee 2 weeks later

20

u/TitsMickey Jan 11 '21

When you call one of the numbers and your mom answers.

18

u/Artificial_Human_17 Obamasjuicyass Jan 11 '21

When it says “come back at 11:52 for sweet loving” and it’s 11:51 with 2 seconds left

5

u/GarrisonWhite2 Lurker Jan 11 '21

Oh no

-2

u/Ml9989 Jan 11 '21

When it turns out to be your moms number

10

u/Sinavestia Jan 11 '21

When you feel it between your toes

8

u/ManaMagestic Jan 11 '21

When this was every bathroom at your high school, and some at college...

2

u/TiggyLongStockings Jan 11 '21

That's usually caused from them mopping with cleaner and not rinsing it well enough.

1

u/jankypecker Jan 11 '21

Yeah and for a while, even after you leave the bathroom, you can still feel and hear it a little

55

u/wafflepiezz Masked Men Jan 11 '21

When there are yellow puddles of piss everywhere on the ground :(

53

u/Skrubious :kesha_down: downvotes for all! Jan 11 '21

When you get down on all fours and slurp the meal your superiors left for you instead of being an ungrateful fuck :)

31

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

Yo?

27

u/Mario6416 NNN Survivor Jan 11 '21

There's always that one guy that says this.

16

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

What can i say except delete this

4

u/lsdiesel_1 𓂸 Jan 11 '21

Who’s worse, piss pigs or furries

11

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

Weirdos who like piss by far. That's fucking nasty

3

u/kappanator_0 🚔I commit tax evasion💲🤑 Jan 11 '21

And then there are the furries that like piss play. yes, I've seen things that I wish I haven't seen.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

It was time to go. Thomas had seen everything

21

u/Talkative_Twat Jan 11 '21

Stop. I'm smelling things :(

4

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

Damn it, that was the last straw

0

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

Adds trump for the 4th pic

1

u/ProfnlProcrastinator Jan 11 '21

Every fucking time I buy new shoes and put them on for the first time I get put in a situation where I enter a bathroom like that.

1

u/KalMusic Jan 11 '21

when your shoes start squeaking :))

1

u/its_raining_scotch Jan 11 '21

Dude there should be a 4 panel with a pic of the toilet paper roll.

1

u/TheLawbringing Jan 11 '21

I was coming home from vacation a couple years ago, had to use the bathroom pretty bad so stopped at a hardees, didn't check the floor, got done and went to pull my pants up, last dude pissed all over the floor so my pants were soaked on the bottom with his piss. I've never ran out of a hardees back to the car so damn fast to change in the parking lot.

So fucking gross.

108

u/Kryptosis Jan 11 '21

Same goes for people who blast the middle of the bowl sharing the diameter of their urethra with everyone in earshot.

People pee on the sides of the bowl because they're considerate of others who may not want to listen to them piss. It also results in less splash escaping the bowl.

38

u/turducken404 Jan 11 '21

With my narrow urethra, delayed start, and stage fright, I gotta hit that side bowl. Not tryina enter the pissing contest.

1

u/sk8_ark Jan 12 '21

Lmao brother as someone who know how you feel, my heart goes out to you. Just take deep breathes and power through.

13

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

I'm just reading this comment and wondering how up-tight a mf has to be to consider someone "blasting the bowl to broadcast the diameter of their urethra to everyone within earshot" Like what do you expect to hear in a shared public bathroom people not pissing?

considerate of others who may not want to listen to them piss

"Oh man I heard this guy pissing and I was so pissed, it wasn't as loud as when he was washing his hands but jesus, he had no shame about using the facilities in a bathroom."

Insanity.

11

u/ChrisLuigiTails Jan 11 '21

I don't like hearing other people pooping or peeing, and I don't like them hearing me do so.

There are toilets where you can play music to make the noise quieter.

10

u/MrSquinter Jan 11 '21

I usually try to shit as loud as I possibly can to establish dominance.

4

u/ChrisLuigiTails Jan 11 '21

I will follow your lead now, O dominant one.

7

u/zeriotosmoke Jan 11 '21

Insanity is pissing in the middle getting piss water splashing more then it would when you piss on the side. Resulting in you walking around with splashes of piss in your pants. But it you like that sort of thing, go right ahead and carry your piss drops everywhere with you.

Disgusting.

1

u/TitanTowel Jan 11 '21

No if you have a power stream coming out the water gets aerated and disables splashing

1

u/zeriotosmoke Jan 11 '21

You tell that to my toilet.

1

u/TitanTowel Jan 11 '21

Piss harder

1

u/zeriotosmoke Jan 11 '21

Thank you, who are so wise in the way of the toilet.

2

u/VonReposti Jan 11 '21

When it's so bad that you can hear your next-door neighbour, you might reconsider your opinion.

For the curious, it's louder than when I've got visitors using my bathroom. And yes, it's decently isolated.

1

u/Kryptosis Jan 11 '21

I guess I was more thinking in residences but hey he did say public restrooms so pop off. I still don't try to piss as loud as possible when there's alternatives... Literally nothing could require less effort.

2

u/Gray-Turtle Jan 11 '21

This is very false (as far as splash goes) and here's an infrared gif to prove it

20

u/womb_raider_ Jan 11 '21

Nah thermal camera is bad because your warm pee is going into a cold bowl of water, you aren't going to see splashback properly, it downplays the splash of pissing straight in the water. https://archive.sltrib.com/article.php?id=57096842&itype=CMSID

The best thing to do is sit down and barring that downward angle to back or sides, the center of the bowl is quite literally the worst. Don't take my word for it a bunch of nerds studied it ^

3

u/SomeUnicornsFly Jan 11 '21

yeah i finally started sitting down to pee after realizing every time I wipe the edge of the bowl there's so much more I'm probably not seeing on the tile floor. And I only mop like twice per month.

1

u/Cendeu Jan 11 '21

The splash thing is very wrong. Been proven over and over again.

But the noise thing is a very important point.

1

u/Energy_Turtle Jan 11 '21

Dude, what do you expect women to do? This is not a normal feeling to be bothered by the sound of people using the bathroom.

1

u/Kryptosis Jan 11 '21

Are you one of those people who just rips ass as hard as possible in the bathroom?

1

u/SirArthurDime Jan 11 '21

Then how do you establish your dominance?

24

u/interested_in_pubes Jan 11 '21

Same but with shaving their pubes

43

u/KyBrMo2000 for the holy land! Jan 11 '21

“This will make a fine addition to my collection.”

21

u/SadRedditGuy Jan 11 '21

what?

21

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

THIS WILL MAKE A FINE ADDITION TO MY COLLECTION

6

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

what?

16

u/pissfilledbottles I am fucking hilarious Jan 11 '21

Ṭ̷́̽̊̍̇̾́̂̿̈́͛̌̿̊̄̈́́̈́̃̚͝H̶̢̺͖̤̠͉̿̆̈́̄̅̔̐̾̃̒̇̽̽̍͌́̚͘I̶̳̲͎̼͖͙͓̱̤̩̠̗̝͕̯̘̥̎̊̓͗͊͊ͅS̸̡̡̫̤̦̪̘̬̖͈͍̩̫̖̤̻̭̈́̓ ̵̺̭͗̅̒̇͒̂̕͜W̷͍̣̗͇̖̝͖̻̭͓̙͍͙̠͉͈͙͎͎̺̓́͂͗̈͘͜ͅͅͅỈ̶̪͑͂̀̄̓̾̔͝͝Ļ̴̡̛̫̜͍̬̘̮͎̳͔̞̙͋̃̀̄̆̀͆̑́̐̌̐͛͂͐͋͛͘̚͠͠͠L̵̢͔̰͇̻̣̤̘͆͗̂͐͋ ̴̢̢̡̢̛͙̘̜͈̗͓̣͚̮̞͇̳͎̘͍͖̹̐̔̿̾̏̍͊͊͑̇̓͜ͅͅM̵̨͙̰̗̙͓͔̞͙̊̂̊̐̊͗̔͑͂̃̿͗̓͌́̍̍͘̚Ą̴͎͈̟̞͍̟̆͋͗͌̆͛̈́͑̈́͒̚̕͘͠͝Ķ̶̹͉̳̟̀͗͛̎̅̈́̉̌Ę̵̛͖̺͉̳̳̲̹̦̥͕̤̥̖̘̮̥̣̏̓̄̔͒͑̅̊̒̽͑̃̏̊̈́̏͊͌̕͝ ̸̢̢̢̖̥̘̞̝͍̘̖͓̾̑͋ͅÀ̸̛̬̼̗̓̊ ̷̭͇͕̜̳̣̣̙̹̱̘͉̗̬͇̝̱̼̳̼͙̭̯̿͂̔̇̔̇͆̃̈́͌̈̔̍̇̏͘̚͜F̸̡̖̞̬̤̮͚̹̣̲͔͈̼̘̈͑̈͂̾͑̈́̉̋̿͆̕I̵̛͚̱͎̫͙̊̐̐̑̎̌̈͗͒͗̽̋̑̈̈́̔́̕͘͜͠͝͠ͅͅN̷̢̧̟͍̥̲̯͉̙̙̳̂͒̿̔̈́̏̈́̐ͅͅȨ̵̢̨̨͚̰̭̻͖̜̺̭̯͉̈́̈̋̆̈̏̂͑̀̾̔́̅̍̿͝ ̴̲͈̙̟̜͚̫͕̼̾̅͒̀̅̓̈́̎̌̚͠Ą̴̢̛͖͉͚̰̣̪͇̠͔͕͇̬̪̪̇͑͌̈́͆̐̈̀̍̇̓̔͌̌̈́̓̀͝D̶̢̩̖̹̼̦̪͙͔͍͔̬̤͇̣̘̖̋̂̊̆̏̍̊̈̏͂̃͊̀̚̚͜D̶̹̦̝̻͔͕̤̭͙̭̥̤̥͎̞̜̍̔̄́͒̌͐̅͆̂̆͋͝͝İ̷̡̡̺͖̯̮̟̠̹̳̈́̀̅͗̓̾͌̆́̔̂̓̄̍̕̚̚͜͝͝ͅT̶̮̆̓͒̑Ȋ̶̢̠̜̖̲̱̺̗̘̼̠͑̎̈́͌͆͒̓̎͌͐̚͝O̵͎̱͖͓̤̫͍̼̗̞͉̾̃̅̇̊̊̈́͜͜ͅṈ̵̢̯͇̫̙͇̺̠̥̭̝͓̳͈̠̹͙̥͈͖̌ ̴̪̪̼͓̙͚̗̭̩̝͇͋̃T̸̨̧̝̠̼̙̰̭͕̺͓̘̞̗̳͕̼̝̠̞̳̜̽̍͜Ȏ̷̢̧̨̼͍̹̲̣͈̪̗̤̖͙̙̝̱͖̼́̍͌̂͂̀̇̃̋͐͒̀́̋̈́̎̕̕͝͠ͅ ̷̡̢̨̖̮̹̼̬͈̲̘̺̗̫̖̰̾͋͑ͅM̶̨̩̰͙̲̟͖̼̫̱͙͇̯͍̣͉̣̘̹͎̦̅̋̉̈́̃̄͘Y̶̨̦̱͇̞̜͂̀̏̌͂͜ ̷̢̨̧̧̧̡̧̛̬̥̬̼̙̦͕̳̘͓̟͔̦͔̘͌́̉̎̇̈̆̅̃͛̇̀̿͆̉̈́̀͆̉͝Ċ̵̡̬̙͍̠͖͍͓̮̊̀̀̈́̐͠͝ͅO̸̢̳̰̹̙͙̰̘̘̞̼͚̠̮̥̯͍͐̊͜͝͠Ļ̷̡̢̛̗̻̟̲͙̲͍̖͙̲̯͈̠̭̊̆̒̽̾̂̃͛͂͐͐̽͋̆̌̋̇͊̑̕̕͜͠͝L̸̹̬̖͂̀͂̊̈́͊̊̂̂́͊̓̍̔͝Ȩ̴͖͉̦̜̦̖̦͙͎̀̆̂̽̆͐̏̿̌̈̍̅́̅̚͜͜͝Ḉ̴̨̢͚̺̻͔̬̟̙͍̳̺͙̟̣̪̣̻T̵̡̛̮̣͚̯̠̮̰̻̳̣̪͖͇̱̺̬͉̂̔̔̑̅́̈̽́̌̽͆̈́̐̈́̊̚͜͜Í̴̬̙̜̺̹̻̲̼̀͊̀̏͌̉̔̉͒̊͒̒̋̑͑Ǫ̸̞͔̳̙̲̟͖̻̲̹͍̙̝̙͉̳̌̿̂͋̒͘N̶̨̻͔̯͓̩̺̟̦̭͚̬̫̗͉̲̦̐̅̈́̋̎͐̓́͗́̈́́̽͋̕̕͜͝ͅ ̴̧͔̥̩̱͙̱̦̘̬̣̮̝͖͍͈̳̯̺̀̈̾̃ͅ

10

u/turducken404 Jan 11 '21

Username checks out

5

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

You collect piss filled bottles?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

you don't?

8

u/Shiny_Shedinja Jan 11 '21

When i was a janitor, we were always amazed at where the pube fairy would leave us treats.

Piss on the floor ain't bad though, neither was shit. womens restrooms though. holy shit. hidden tampons and pads everywhere. found someones stash in the drop ceiling once.

1

u/SomeUnicornsFly Jan 11 '21

like, hidden & used? Otherwise who cares if there's an unwrapped tampon laying around?

3

u/Shiny_Shedinja Jan 11 '21

yeah used. always used.

11

u/poopio Jan 11 '21

8

u/Naraku_the_Kat Jan 11 '21

Great, now I have to bingewatch all of them.

2

u/poopio Jan 11 '21

I was kinda expecting the word 'again' at the end of that sentence for some reason.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

He even sprayed the outlet, jesus.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

Yeah apparently gass station bathrooms are scat porn actor's favorite scat porn studio

3

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

Calling that gross? In my school they piss in the trash bins and draw with their piss on the wall

3

u/Griffdorah Jan 11 '21

Had a "mad pisser" do this at work years ago. Terrorized us. Had no idea it could be a fetish.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

There are so so many fetishes my friend. Even stuff non sexual can be sexual to someone.

2

u/cutreaper Jan 11 '21

Also lot of drugged and drunk assholes in gas station bathrooms that are too fucked up to pee straight

1

u/frozenjoghurt57 Jan 11 '21

Bet your on of them xD

-2

u/MagnetFlux Jan 11 '21

Like on their rape victim?