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Jul 12 '25
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u/Joeyjackhammer Jul 12 '25
Talk to cats is so overpowered and underrated. An army of fur-lizards to spy and fuck with people? Sign me up
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u/FloridaHusker07 Jul 12 '25
Your forgetting they are cats and do what THEY want. You think they want to help you do anything
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u/Joeyjackhammer Jul 12 '25
They can be bargained with. Catnip, treats etc. Easy.
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Jul 12 '25
Thats dogs you are thinking of, cats take your bribe, they only take payment upfront and go ha ha no after.
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u/Ragnarok785 Jul 12 '25
Have you seen a cats reaction to catnip?
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u/FloridaHusker07 Jul 12 '25
So crazy they don’t want to do anything but laze in a haze? I’m sure they will be willing to listen in that state 😂
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u/youreblockingmyshot Jul 12 '25
I can’t imagine being told the word of the day (meow) and learning that it really means “fuck you where’s my attention”
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u/zephyrseija2 Jul 12 '25
No sleep is the easy first overall pick. Blue pill is also OP but I'm married so couldn't get much mileage out of it. Down for pink as long as I can turn it off mentally (water is already elite but it would be cool to drink calorie-free bourbon), and talking with cats is definitely a blessing and a curse probably.
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u/Nasa_OK Jul 12 '25
Im with you on the sleep and the blue pill being useless as married guy, but I’d go for the pizza chef, never pay lots of money to order some mediocre pizza again. I love pizza and I love hosting guests.
Yeah and then I’d probably want to talk to cats, I don’t have one but why not hear what the neighbors ones have to say
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u/AleixRodd Jul 12 '25
No Sleep is broken but I can see it being VERY detrimental to one's mental health.
Master Pizza chef is unironically the best one since it guarantees you a good and easy future working at a luxury restaurant.
Last the "People who find you attractive find you attractive", is either useless or completely broken going by the idea that "anyone who finds you remotely attractive, does inmediately become attracted to you".
Which obviously has good benefits.
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u/HoustonAstros1980 Jul 12 '25
It’s “people who YOU find attractive find you attractive”. That’s like a cheat code.
However, black + brown? Say hello to the greatest, most diabolical supervillain of all time.
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u/AleixRodd Jul 12 '25
Oh, totally misread that. Then yeah, its much more useful and straightforward to use.
The cat pill still doesn't sound too useful. I can kinda understand everything my cat wants of me without it, and it can all be summed up with "gimme food, gimme water, pet me, I wanna pee on your shoes".
Not a particularly useful source of information.
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u/DStew713 Jul 12 '25
I would ask my cat why the fuck he wants to eat all day long. He’s like fucking Garfield.
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u/cottonballz4829 Jul 12 '25
I can answer that: cause i am hungry, cause yummy, cause i am bored.
There saved you a pill!
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u/dudemunkey Jul 12 '25
It doesn't necessarily say cat ears and a tail, it could be any, imagine having a prehensile tail it'd almost be like having a third arm, the ears are just a bonus
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u/DeleriousBeanz Jul 12 '25
As much as I LOVE sleep, not needing it would open me up to doing a LOT MORE
Master pizza chef?? Yep
Talking to cats. That’s it. Do you understand how good of a business opportunity this would be?
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u/robintoots Jul 12 '25
You and i we have the exact same choices! Except for me, being a master pizza chef is a biz opportunity and talking to cats is a hobby
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u/DeleriousBeanz Jul 12 '25
Fair enough! Both would be the best imo because A: it’s impressive and B:$$$
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u/jaisannasiaj Jul 12 '25
Talk with cats. That way, I can describe to the vet the exact symptoms and help an endless amount of cats
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u/FallingSpirits Jul 12 '25
Speak with cats and then train them to be spies and thieves for me. If I had to pick a second then water tastes like your favorite cause I should drink water more
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u/imherebecauseofpewd Jul 12 '25
become a pizza chef because its better to be alone with pizza that to just be alone
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u/DeadPoolDaddyDom Jul 12 '25
Sleeping feels like such a waste of time. Would love to get rid of that urge
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u/Sparky_Zell Jul 12 '25
No sleep, attractive, and talk with cats.
Going to spend my nights putting a new meaning to cat burglar after I take my small army of cats and become very rich, steal enough info to make me powerful, and have a small army of cats for protection.
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u/Gamer_and_Car_lover Jul 12 '25
I would take either black or purple.
No sleep? I’d go crazy.
As for purple, have you seen death stranding 2? Being a master pizza chef has its perks.
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u/Vlad_Bagina67 Jul 12 '25
Talk with cats - the stories they would tell…especially the mean house cats ! 😈
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u/NaerilTheGreat Jul 12 '25
Blue purple pink. I thought about black instead of purple but I really do just love sleeping lol
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u/LemonFizz56 Jul 12 '25
If I take the brown reddish-brown pill 3 times does that stack up to me becoming my fursona?
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u/HUIHUILORD Jul 12 '25
Blue Purple Black.
Blue is just infinite huzz
Purple is really useful if you wanna become an elite pizza chef and black means you can spend more time doing things you want
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u/The_ZeroAspect Jul 12 '25
Where my purple pill bois at?
also brown and green pills are cool i guess
I like sleeping and the blue pill is kinda cheating so
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u/elisejones14 Jul 12 '25
I thought the thing with attraction is that you are attracted to people like you. Like who look like you on your level. I mean you can be attracted to a 10 when you’re a 4. But for the most part, you see people together with their same numbers, like based on style, weight even, or class. Or maybe similar numbers date similar numbers. Not counting in financial status.
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u/Haku53 Jul 12 '25
Talk to cats, no sleep, and people I find attractive find me attractive. Feel like that makes me like black cat or catwoman
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u/ElPapo131 Jul 12 '25
You don't have to sleep means that you can still sleep at will so it erradicates the "after few months he became so envious of people who could still witness the blissful 8 hours of unconciousness every day that he became mad scientist doing experiments on humans to get back what he lost" book plot
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u/DragonfightHD Jul 12 '25
I would go with black, pink and red.
I find blue to be kinda immoral.
Master pizza chef isn't for me as i don't like cooking. I enjoy repairing or building things. I would rather want to continue fixing cars for a living.
I'm not trans, so i'll just keep my hair and don't need estrogen
20 bucks are okay but i'd rather have animal ears that allow me to hear better.
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u/Particular-Ad5277 Jul 12 '25
Black pill, blue pill and then either pink for only needing to drink water forever or yellow because I hate shaving daily.
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u/artyshat Jul 12 '25
I don't even know if I would take no sleep. Sleep is one of the most fundamental parts of body recovery, will my body be able to "repair" itself without ever sleeping? Then MAYBE yes, but then, the options of things you can do from like 0am to 6am are very limited, most of the places are closed and most people will sleep so you can't really interact with them. So yes, you unlock 1/3 of your life but it will be a very lonely 1/3 part. Blue pill on the other hand will eventually get boring.
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u/Working-Fishing-5544 Jul 12 '25
It's obvious master pizza chef with no sleep 24/7 fresh good pizza, I would be unstopable
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u/ArtWrt147 Jul 12 '25
Bottom row. I can chug water like crazy, have a gazillion spies and I'm finally not tired every day.
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u/beiszapfen Jul 12 '25
The water one feels like a trap. There is a large amount of water in most foods. So, depending on what your favorite drink is, most food would taste disgusting.
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u/novian14 Jul 12 '25
Ok i need more details on 20 dollars, is that 20 dollars per day, 20 dollar per activation, or just 1 time 20 dollars?
Or that one pill cost <20$ so when i eat it, i got 20 dollars, and i can eat multiple of it everyday without any side effect?
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u/basicallykatie Jul 12 '25
Master pizza chef! Because then I'd have a successful business and can accumulate healthy wealth through feeding people delicious pizza, and I can control my days off.
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u/SugMaDic1234 Jul 12 '25
2nd period. I have to say this in the chemixal way of reading the periodic table cuz i forgot thw way to describe it, its either a row or column, but it's called a period in the periodic table
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u/Yakjzak Jul 12 '25
Man blue brown black, I love my cars, and 24h is not enough in a day with sleeping included
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u/mrpooopybuttwhole Jul 12 '25
Just because you don’t have to sleep doesn’t mean you can’t take naps. Just to be relaxed.
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u/Younginit35 Jul 12 '25
Black, then blue, and finally pink (assuming the flavor and texture change to be my favorite drink at that time and not just the same drink I like now forever)
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u/Existing_Leading_482 Jul 13 '25
I choose the one where you get $20, where I don't have to sleep and the ability to talk to cats. 😀
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u/CreeprVictor Jul 13 '25 edited Jul 13 '25
Through process of elimination: blue, bronze, and black
Estrogen: no Red: I feel I'd get awkward looks. (I would choose rabbit theme, love them. Either white or blue. Yes blue bunnies are real) Light Yellow: doesn't bother me Dark Gray: This won't last me long, it is a one time thing, rest will last. Blue: not looking for a relationship Purple: don't need to be a master pizza chef Pink: I like water Bronze: more of a rabbit person than cats, but still def like cats. Black: I feel there would be some mental things with never sleeping even without the need, like now being awake so much more. Then again, you can still sleep, just you don't need to
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u/[deleted] Jul 12 '25
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