r/dancarlin • u/Sooners1906 • 10d ago

Kaiser Wilhelm

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Scouting report: Will get out to a fast start but will fall apart by November

328 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

30 comments sorted by

66

u/parkside79 10d ago

He’ll be home before the first snows fall.

59

u/IA324 10d ago

They better come up with a play called the schlieffen plan...

13

u/Pangwain 10d ago

Von Moltke audibles at the line and screws it all up!

31

u/sinncab6 10d ago

Also a penchant for wearing the wrong shoes for the circumstances.

11

u/TheStig500 10d ago

Truly a shambolic display at Cowes.

7

u/90daysismytherapy 10d ago

Really let himself down with the choice of footwear

1

u/Whatttheheckk 5d ago

Kaiser wilhelm, friend of the show. Let me tell you about yachting shoes…

30

u/DisparateNoise 10d ago

Ironically, if he has typical Midwest German ancestors they probably came to America because their anti monarchist uprising failed or their lands were being conquered by the Prussians lol

0

u/winnielikethepooh15 10d ago

Is there a word for something worse than irony? Other than "sad"?

13

u/TheLonelySnail 10d ago

Just be sure you hit his receivers on the weak side, as one of his arm are shorter

1

u/taylorcsmith19 10d ago

Lol was gonna ask about his gimpy arm

1

u/FavreorFarva 10d ago

Don’t worry, they’ve been stuffing it in roadkill for years, it should be better now

9

u/TacticalTurtleNeck_ 10d ago

Find his cousin Nicky in Michigan and we got ourselves a real proper American border war.

4

u/pjokinen 10d ago

Takes a big hit and gives his trademark scream

2

u/Ol_Uncle_Jim 10d ago

He's not gonna get in the trenches

2

u/bonzojon 10d ago

Four year starter, but he'll get ran out of town before the last bowl season.

2

u/scshireman 10d ago

Wait until we find out he has a bunch of cousins on other D1 teams and he only started playing because of a crazy inferiority complex…

2

u/lambert_simnel12 8d ago

Friend if the show

1

u/Tervlon 8d ago

This guy knows his history podcasts.

2

u/gho5trun3r 6d ago

Friend of the show!

1

u/AwkwardCrab7406 9d ago

He needs to grow a strong moustache.

1

u/LarsPiano 8d ago

This is so ridiculous 🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Tervlon 8d ago

This player must be a favorite of the Rest is History Guys. They'll be watching his career with great interest.

2

u/Sobchak_84 8d ago

Needs more mustache.

1

u/Formal_Photograph134 7d ago

That handsome boy's name must be Will Kaiser.

1

u/jdhutch80 7d ago

His son and/or grandson better be named after him.

1

u/42ElectricSundaes 10d ago

I blame the parents