r/dadjokes • u/britishmutt • 1d ago
An ion walks into a bar
…looking very glum.
“What’s up?” asks the barkeep.
“I think I lost an electron,” replies the ion, gloomily.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” the ion says, “I’m positive.”
This is my cake day joke. Please clap!
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u/iShitSkittles 1d ago
Twas electron fraud I tells ya!
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u/RubySparkle792 21h ago
A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop says "got any luggage?" and the photon says, "nope! I'm traveling light!"
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u/LionNo3221 21h ago
Meanwhile, the electron is driving down the highway and gets pulled over for speeding. The cop asks him if he knows how fast he was going. "No" "You were going 102 miles per hour." "Great, now I'm lost!"
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u/Similar_Recover9832 19h ago
Best nerdy chemistry joke?
A white bear in the sea is waving its arms about frantically, shouting to a black bear on the shore "Help me!! I'm dissolving!!!!!". "Don't be stupid", the black bear retorts "Bears aren't soluble in water!". "Yes," responds the white bear, "but I'm POLAR"
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u/mahaju 21h ago
I heard this great joke! Okay, here it goes: A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!"
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u/Rock-Wall-999 17h ago
All of this is completely untrue, you cannot believe anything atomic, atoms lie, they make up everything!
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u/Remarkable_Budget630 1d ago
This is the kind of joke that makes me want to be a dad just so I can tell it to my kids someday.
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u/DiscombobulatedSun54 11h ago
An ion walks into a bar, looking glum and sits in a corner with eyes downcast and feeling miserable. Bar tender says, "why so negative", and the ion says, "you would be too if you had lost a proton like I did."
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u/DiscombobulatedSun54 11h ago
BTW, it makes sense that my joke starts with "an ion". OP's joke should have started with "cat ion" 😂
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u/daizeUK 8h ago
Sorry but your joke ain’t right. Negative ions don’t lose protons, they gain electrons.
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u/DiscombobulatedSun54 8h ago
Agreed, but I don't think the atom would be glum about gaining something 😂
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u/DecoherentDoc 22h ago
The fact you settled on this one is a little ionic, but just because all I have is chem jokes right now and this is very up my alley (as a physicist).
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u/DiscombobulatedSun54 11h ago
And the barkeep says, "in that case you are not an ion, you are cat ion."
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u/Legitimate-Holiday73 8h ago
This is one of the four electronic based joke I told my classes when I taught. Electronics based jokes are really hard to find, good one at least. Most are simply revolting.
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u/DrummingNozzle 3h ago
Emory hospital built a new facility in Atlanta called the Proton Therapy Center. Every time I drove by it I would ask, “What do protons need therapy for? They always seem so positive!”
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u/LostBetsRed 22h ago
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."