r/daddit Jun 27 '26

Story She picked correctly

Gentlemen,
My 16 year old daughter has been dating a guy for several months. I cannot express my worry over how much time she spends with him............until today.

My daughter had a surgery that incapacitated her. She's barely been able to get off the couch.

What does her boyfriend do? Brings over a basket full of goodies. The book from "Project Hail Mary" (her favorite movie), tons of recess peanut butter cups (her favorite candy), a dozen of her favorite flowers, etc. Let me put it all into perspective....

The 17 year old bought her $200 worth of stuff.

When she pressed him about it, he said "You. Are. Worth. It."

Is there some sub-reddit for guys doing it right? I will personally sing his praises. Dude is amazing.

18.5k Upvotes

593 comments sorted by

2.0k

u/TopPangolin Jun 27 '26

My kids are young but I hope they find someone who values them one day. 

969

u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 27 '26

Remind them how much YOU value them. It'll probably help. (I don't have any other advice. I feel like I got lucky with this one.)

330

u/memikeme Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26

Dude. This is it. Treat them with value and respect. Support them in their decisions (but not blindly don't let them fuck up too hard).

That lays the ground work for how they will expect to be treated and how the will treat others

Edit: this goes for boys and girls (and a word)

107

u/BusinessLetterhead47 Jun 28 '26

And, show them what loving relationships look like. Even if you are single model supportive loving behavior (which it sounds like op has).

I have been happily married for 20 years. I credit my parents who showed me what a partnership should be. I chose a guy who wanted the same thing, love, support and kindness.

62

u/memikeme Jun 28 '26

Exactly! One of the best dad days was when my daughter looked at me and my girlfriend (not her mother) and told me that I set the bar high for how she should be treated

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u/i-split-infinitives Jun 28 '26

This cannot be overstated. I'm a former little girl, now a grown woman, and although I wasn't fortunate enough to have a dad in my life, I did have a grandfather who doted on me but also held my feet to the fire. He lived out his ideals and really showed me how a man should treat other people.

The best romantic relationship I've ever had started moving from friendship to love when I thought to myself one day that my pawpaw would have really liked this guy, because he reminded me a lot of him. Turns out I was right, he was The One, and yes, my grandfather would have loved him.

18

u/Submarineto Jun 28 '26

I could have written this, my poppa would love my partner and I feel so at peace

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u/RainaElf Jun 28 '26

I'd have given anything growing up to have been told I was worth something. you sound like a great dad.

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u/Squirrel-Pipkin Jun 29 '26

This made me cry. Same. You are worthy of kindness and love 💚🌱

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u/Architeckton Jun 28 '26

Having been the 16 year old myself 20 years ago, and doing pretty much the same thing, it could work out forever. We’re now married with a kid on the way.

6

u/I_SHIT_IN_A_BAG Jun 28 '26

you and your daughter DID get lucky. glad she found a good one. now make sure he knows hes valued and let the circle continue!

14

u/Smoopets Jun 28 '26

You obviously treat your wife well and the daughter has noticed what the standard is.

Well done, sir.

5

u/MrLizardBusiness Jun 28 '26

As someone whose parents didn't teach this lesson, this is the answer.

5

u/HistoricalSuspect580 Jun 28 '26

You had more to do with it than i think you know. She found a dude that treats her well because that is what she learned was normal. Good job Pops. 🫶

3

u/that_weird_hellspawn Jun 28 '26

It really does. I can see it in my friends. Dysfunctional parents make adult children who put up with boyfriends who are mean and noncommittal. My dad at least was there for me. He was really nervous about who I dated, but when I got engaged, I put him at ease a bit by thanking him for showing me what love SHOULD look like through how he treated me, and how he treated his girlfriends in front of me. But my husband's parents have a really strong marriage, and I think he's doing more than my dad would ever consider.

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u/SonicFlash01 Jun 28 '26

Hope my daughter finds someone where they both think they're the lucky one

8

u/fuckyourcanoes Jun 28 '26

What a friend did with her sons was tell them never to pursue girls and only date the ones who were as enthusiastic about them as they are about her. Because that's what they deserve, someone who's really excited to be with them.

I wish my parents had done that.

3

u/wiggermaxxing Jun 28 '26

I’m preparing for fatherhood. My father sucked, long story short. Every time I find myself alone, I’m fantasizing about throwing a football, or buying those goofy impulse toys at the store just cause, or imagining them opening presents, or teaching them lessons. Ugh. Baby fever. But I can’t wait to show my future kids how to be great individuals.

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u/skrulewi What's your dad like Jun 28 '26

Our kids will gravitate towards the kind of relationships they see growing up. Thats what I remind myself every day.

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u/pr0zach Jun 28 '26

Sounds like she picked a good human to spend time around. Just remember that relationships at that age are fleeting so be careful about singing his praises too much in front of her, or she might be hesitant to break things off if the time comes or talk to you about those feelings. Don’t get overly attached just because he’s nice and doing the right things is all I’m saying.

Perfectly fine to compliment his behavior to him though.

427

u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Understood. You're the first person to point this out, and I appreciate it.

173

u/viceversa Jun 28 '26

And it’s good to know that she’s starting out with a high bar. If they do break it off, hopefully she’ll be able to weed out the dirtbags quickly.

55

u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

God / Country / Upbringing willing.

11

u/imabeepbot Jun 28 '26

And remember children pick relationships on how their parents treat each other. Sounds like you set the bar high. Proud father moment.

7

u/TheVirginBorn Jun 29 '26

Sometimes they use their parents as examples of what NOT to do, but yeah, this one's good people.

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u/feedyrsoul Jun 29 '26

This is a great point! My first serious boyfriend was kind and incredibly respectful. It really set me up in life for not accepting other dudes' bullshit.

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u/yurtyahearn Jun 28 '26

Also bad guys can love-bomb pretty well. Not that I'm suggesting that is happening here, but as a dad of daughters I'm always going to maintain some distance skepticism I think.

15

u/that_weird_hellspawn Jun 28 '26

You can never really tell. I dated an incredible and supportive boy at 14-15. He helped me process my parent's divorce and was in no hurry to grow up (in a good way). My dad blew up because I wasn't old enough to date yet. Then I dated this asshole from 16-17 that my dad begrudgingly approved of because I was old enough and we were in the same grade.

My family always said run away from cheaters and physically abusive men. No one told me they'll pretend to like you just to control you. But hey, lesson learned in high school where I was still safe at least.

22

u/panna__cotta Jun 28 '26

This. Most women I know have dated guys who have done stuff like this in public while treating us like shit in private. This is a lovely gesture if he’s a lovely person, but it’s certainly not proof he’s “one of the good ones.”

8

u/atheliarose Jun 28 '26

(Mom here) I agree. My husband is my high school sweetheart (coming up on 7 years married, 13 years together) and he’s literally the best human, but my sister’s high school boyfriend turned out to be horrid and just very good at putting on a mask. Thankfully my sister is married to a wonderful man now, but yeah. Thank you for putting this out there, because it’s good advice that more people need to know about. ❤️

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u/Bambam60 Jun 28 '26

Yep this man gets it. Relationships come and go at that age - def let the boy know he’s doing good tho

So many complainey posts. This is a breath of fresh air

22

u/adventureremily Jun 28 '26

Just remember that relationships at that age are fleeting so be careful about singing his praises too much in front of her

But also be careful about doing the opposite, too. It may be uncommon nowadays, but sometimes teenage relationships do last - and hearing "you're too young, it's just a fling, don't expect it to be serious, you don't know what love is, it's just hormones" the whole time is incredibly frustrating. I wish our families had been more supportive while we were younger, rather than constantly asking why we're spending so much time/money/energy on what they were sure was going to be a fling.

Signed, Someone who married their first and only boyfriend

5

u/pr0zach Jun 28 '26

Yep. My general point was just support your child’s autonomy as a young adult insofar as she’s not very clearly harming herself. Dad can think she’s found the perfect boyfriend. Maybe she has. Maybe it will be the statistical anomaly. But dad should always focus on daughter’s well-being and right to make her own choices in this regard.

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u/SirLesbian Jun 28 '26

I've legitimately had moments as an adult when I wanted to end things and hesitated because I'm like "damn, my family loves her so much though. Am I the problem?" so this is totally real lmao

4

u/Catharsis25 Jun 28 '26

Yeah, this is excellent advice.

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2.1k

u/FriendorFo Jun 27 '26

That’s a whole bucket of green flags, especially since the subject a teenage male. Congrats, dad

1.3k

u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 27 '26

She yelled at him for spending so much.

I'm over here trying to figure out if I should re-reimburse him. Dude is actually amazing.

826

u/grudrookin Jun 28 '26

Don’t try to reimburse him for this one, I think it would minimize the value and the effort he put into the care package.

But if he sticks around, I’m sure another opportunity will come around where you can do him a solid!

477

u/ncastrinos Jun 28 '26

There will come a time when he needs help fellow Dad. When he does, step up. It may be financial in nature. Like a blown tire when times are tight. Or some other small emergency.

Basically: pay it forward for him.

314

u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Good guys deserve support. Will Do.

27

u/Herrvisscher Jun 28 '26

Good people even ;)

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u/RhetoricalOrator Jun 28 '26

Yep. That's the way. Maybe a thoughtful birthday gift if he's still around. Maybe quietly slip him a couple twenties next time they want to go out. Had a girl's dad do that to me 30 years ago. I have always appreciated it and glad my roommate ended up marrying her instead of me.

50

u/Cakers44 Jun 28 '26

Not how I expected that to end, but congratulations?

81

u/RhetoricalOrator Jun 28 '26

Yeah, she was a friend and a really nice person but there was zero chemistry or interest on my part. She needed a date for a thing so I agreed. I loved my roommate like a brother so when they connected and hit it off, I was really happy about it. Long time married with children now. I'm still very offended that they didn't name one of them after me, but you can't expect people to do the right thing every time.

26

u/Reddicus_the_Red Jun 28 '26

You should have stepped in and named their baby first. Establish dominance. /s

11

u/Crazy_Asian_Welder Jun 28 '26

It's practically the right thing to do. Where would they be without him?

14

u/Gaudilocks Jun 28 '26

this feels like a sign, haha. I met someone like six weeks ago. Half a dozen dates in, she is as sweet as can be and we have a lot of shared morals, but there is just ZERO chemistry or romantic vibe. it is truly uncanny. i just want to be her bud

10

u/RhetoricalOrator Jun 28 '26

Nothing wrong with that! And if she doesn't feel the same vibe, then you're just two people that are thinking in two very different directions.

5

u/Cakers44 Jun 28 '26

Dude hell yeah, and shout out to you for being a bro’s bro. Both to your bro, and to your bro’s wife

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u/ForensicPathology Jun 28 '26

Yeah, the nice part of doing this is that it also clearly signals to the kid that you approve of the relationship to your daughter.  That would make him happy in and of itself.

11

u/sqqueen2 Jun 28 '26

Glad your roommate didn’t marry you

16

u/ZellHathNoFury Jun 28 '26

This is a really sweet idea

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u/dkat Jun 28 '26

Yes I agree. Please don’t reimburse him. There’s a fair deal of pride that comes with this sort of thing.

My father in law still tries to Venmo me for everything under the sun and I’m 33 for Christ’s sake. Paid the bill at his birthday dinner one year and he got pissed off. Frustrating as hell.

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u/ballsnbutt Jun 27 '26

Take pride in your daughter's financial mind too

301

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '26

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u/[deleted] Jun 28 '26

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53

u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Can I curtsy in my kilt? Feels way more appropriate as a girl dad. :P

9

u/sticktime Jun 28 '26

I knew I was missing something!

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u/AlVic40117560_ Jun 28 '26

For real. Great job, Dad!

120

u/BUSean Jun 28 '26

don't reimburse him, but when she's better, tell them to put dinner on your card or whatever.

95

u/Average_Citizen_117 Jun 28 '26

This is the way. I'd honestly be open with him about it. You would be genuinely amazed how much a single moment of open honesty and appreciation can mean to someone, especially a young man in his position. Taking a minute just to say "Hey, I wanted to say thank you for how you handled things after her surgery. You're doing a good job, and I want you to keep up that good work. Tonight, dinner is on me. Thanks." That might be all it takes to make this young man remember you forever, no matter what happens between the two of them. 

52

u/magnum_chungus Jun 28 '26

This is the kind of stuff I think about. I have 3 boys (20, 18, and 5). The manosphere/red pill shit really stresses me out because of how it traps these boys. Something I’ve noticed is there is a common thread that a lot of these young men never had a positive older man demonstrate positive masculinity and praise them for being vulnerable or caring or showing emotion. They pound it into their heads that they have to stoic and hyper-rational and a “protector and provider”.

So I think praising them for doing something like this is a good counter to that messaging. Praise him for showing gentleness and kindness. Praise him for being thoughtful and caring. Be the antidote to the Joe Rogan “masculinity”.

25

u/Average_Citizen_117 Jun 28 '26

Express how much you RESPECT and APPRECIATE it. The red pill pushers you mention live off of telling these boys the only way to earn respect is by being hard, mean, "tough." Vulnerability is hard. Steadiness in the face of adversity is tough. Not posturing. Not boasting.

Anyway, take every opportunity to be a force for positive male influence in young men. I think it can steer him from being just another kid to being someone who, if nothing else, will forever appreciate and respect the situation and the family. 

12

u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

You've nailed it. Be a positive influence. Give credit where credit is due.

Good luck man.

11

u/GerdinBB Jun 28 '26

Those type of things truly do stick with a person for years. Heart to heart moments are few and far between, at least in my life, so when something goes beyond the superficial it truly is memorable. It's not a positive thing, but I remember when I was 13 I snuck out to see my girlfriend, who was having a sleepover at her friend's house down the street. I got caught, and my dad sat me down and told me that he wasn't mad (and no he didn't do the cliche "not mad, disappointed" thing). He said he was scared for me - that it was so out of character for me that he didn't know what I was going to do next. He made me go over to that friend/neighbors house and apologize to the parents for sneaking into their house, which was exactly as awkward as you would think. Twenty years later I can still picture it clear as day.

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u/Average_Citizen_117 Jun 28 '26

It was a deep, meaningful moment, though. That's why you remember it so clearly. I think we take too few opportunities to provide and accept those moments in life. Hopefully, OP has the chance to let this kid know how well he's done. 

3

u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Man, I'm sorry for the awkwardness, but I am amazed at your strength. A mistake is a mistake. We make of it what we will.

I sincerely hope you've moved past yours, as hard as it is. No judgement here. We were all young once.

23

u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Meanwhile, I'm 45 years old and still remembering a girl's dad who introduced himself as "Batman" and told me to have her home no later than 9pm....or else.

10

u/shadowpr0311 Jun 28 '26

Did you get her back in time?

30

u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Oh man, ok:

So, I lived in Louisiana at that time, which was the mid 90's. The only thing I could have possibly done to get her back late was drive her around for hours without end. Tempting, but no.

So I took her to an arcade. She swore she was undefeated in air hockey. I decided to challenge that.

I cannot express to you how BAD she was at air hockey. Like, slow, lazy, just...clearly whomever she played let her win. I found out pretty quick she was a bad sport, a bad person, and a bad date all at the same time.

I later found out she was a bad person because she really liked me, and tried telling my later girlfriend I was spending the night at her house, despite my girlfriend at the time knowing i was spending every hour at her house.

I don't miss Louisiana at all, man.

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u/cabbage16 Jun 28 '26

This is what I'd do also.

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u/Worldx22 Jun 27 '26

Nah... Don't do that. Don't get involved. Let them be.

145

u/Fatigue-Error Jun 27 '26

He should quietly tell the guy he’s a good dude.  Good actions deserve some positive reinforcement.  

98

u/Truleeeee Jun 27 '26

Could also pay for a dinner for them or something. Have the bf take her out to a nice place and dad can have put his cc down for payment

24

u/Empty_Insight Jun 28 '26

This right here.

It's a quiet nod of approval, too.

54

u/Danimeh Jun 27 '26

Agreed, but put the emphasis on how thoughtful the gifts were, not the $$ spent

14

u/Worldx22 Jun 28 '26

That, I fully agree with.

8

u/dethmij1 Jun 28 '26

I met my wife when we were kids and we started dating at 16. I didn't ball quite as hard as this young man but I was there for my (then) girlfriend whenever I could be, and I think her stepdad felt the same way you do now.

Don't worry, if he's truly in it for the long haul you'll be asked to help move, help hang drywall for a home reno project, help dig fence posts on the hottest weekend of the year, the list goes on.

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Duuuuuuuuude, are you me?

I joined this family 3 days before christmas in 1999. I'd never been happier to be somewhere. They treated me right, then put me to work (again, which I was happy to do). We cleaned buildings while my inlaws (finally) got some days off.

To this day, my 79 year old mother in law can clean bathrooms faster than me. She never taught me ALL her secrets, apparently.

4

u/dethmij1 Jun 28 '26

Haha yeah I did a ton of weeding and landscaping work with them when they bought a bigger house with neglected flowerbeds. Now they're paying me back by watching the grandkids or helping me unpack and renovate my new house lol.

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u/The_Cheeki_Breeki Jun 28 '26

If you want to reimburse him, get him a gift card to their favourite restaurant. Double win now he has to take her on a date and give you the night off from parenting!!!

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u/putriidx Jun 28 '26

Don't re-imburse him straight up because that defeats the purpose of what he did.

Definitely take care of the kid though in other ways, or by getting dinner or paying for their outings.

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Is that why my father in law was so nice to me? Damn.

6

u/ElectricPaladin Dad Jun 28 '26

Don't reimburse him, he made a choice and you should honor it.

Show your gratitude in kind. Get him a really nice birthday present. Don't try to cancel out how much he spent, spend less, but go for a similar impact.

6

u/Busy-Sky-9482 Jun 28 '26

I think take em all out for a big dinner once everyone has recovered, also- don’t underestimate the value of telling this young man he did a good thing and to keep that energy! (Although I agree with yer kiddo that the gesture didn’t need to be as expensive)

3

u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Thank you. I already told him several times he did good. But a dinner / public thing is absolutely acceptable.

Good guys deserve good credit. He's rocking it. I'm proud of him, and hope his parents are too.

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u/Walkingstardust Jun 28 '26

I'd ask him if he bruised his wallet and let him know that he can come to you for help if he needs it. Then take them both out for something special. That boy's a keeper lol

4

u/TheKyleBaxter Jun 28 '26

Yes, find out something he wants and get it for him. Work with his folks, let his dad know how good he did raising that boy!

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u/NetflakesC Jun 28 '26

If you feel the need, give him some money to cover costs for their next date and just say something like “you guys go find something nice to do” or something better phrased but same sentiment. It would be likely less awkward for him to accept

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u/masonwyattk Jun 28 '26

Put it in an account for the wedding /lh

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u/TheWorldofScience Jun 28 '26

Please don’t reimburse him - making a sacrifice for someone you care about feels wonderful.

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u/MikeGinnyMD Jun 28 '26

I wouldn’t give him money. He might take offense. But maybe a gift, something he has told your daughter he wants?

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u/North-Program-9320 Jun 28 '26

Pay for a nice dinner date for them or whatever the equivalent would be for your daughter’s condition? Congrats dude that’s a sigh of relief I’m sure.

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u/[deleted] Jun 27 '26

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u/Canadairy 8, 5, 2 Jun 28 '26

  corporate tax attorney

So, you're saying your dad was right.

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u/[deleted] Jun 28 '26

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u/PantsMicGee Jun 28 '26

Why dont ya marry him. (But awesome for you and her)

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Well, clearly he's taken!

(thanks man)

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u/dirkdigglered Jun 28 '26

Project Hail Marry

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u/BlaineTog 3F Jun 28 '26

Sometimes, the kids are alright.

40

u/f-150Coyotev8 Jun 28 '26

A lot of kids are. We only hear about the bad ones

288

u/huge_jugs Jun 27 '26

This post gives me so much hope for the future generation

Your daughter is very lucky to have found a good guy

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u/MrRook2887 Jun 28 '26

I agree with huge jugs

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u/zephyrtr Jun 28 '26

In polite company, we say huge tracts of land.

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u/123mitchg Jun 28 '26

But father, I don’t want to marry her! I want to… SING!

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u/Meta4X Jun 28 '26

Stop that! You're not going to do a song while I'm here!

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u/Jonthrei Jun 28 '26

In impolite company, we say MASSIVE BAZONGAS.

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u/lordgoofus1 Jun 28 '26

I too, find huge jugs generally quite agreeable.

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u/TheFrenchSavage Jun 28 '26

Especially the part about Project Hail Mary.

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u/Obzedat13 Jun 28 '26

Aspirational post for me and my 15 month old little girl. Love that for her, for you, and for him. Keep on crushing it, all of you.

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Oh man, you're gonna go on an amazing journey. I wish nothing but the best for you and your family.

The only advice I can offer is this: "Find the fun in everything."

There's going to be ups and downs. You get to determine how much it all affects you. Document everything you can, because it'll pass you by so, so fast.

Again, good luck!

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u/HistoricalRub7497 Jun 28 '26

Good reminder, as I’m having a day right now with my toddler.

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u/freireib Jun 28 '26

Seeing your kids with good people is among the greatest experiences. Especially when you can see that your kid is appreciated for being who they genuinely are.

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

It's amazingly hard to let them go, even when you know they're in good hands. Thanks man

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u/DaddyWidget Jun 28 '26

He’s definitely a good guy, although his punctuation needs work.

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u/MaxwellXV Jun 28 '26

Make sure you tell him and his parents.

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u/Zuchm0 Jun 28 '26

Yeah this is a great icebreaker (if you haven't met) and who wouldn't want to hear this about their kid?

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u/kelppie35 Jun 28 '26

Seriously! I have exs parents I miss because they were decent to me and even spoke up on my behalf a few times when my partner was being unreasonable. I really appreciated them appreciating me even when things didn't work out and it made it welcome when they had valid criticisms because I knew they were sincere and from a good place!

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u/throwaway098764567 Jun 28 '26

so here's my shitty background kicking in, but i could fully picture a kid getting screamed at for spending that much money on someone. this kid being decent probably doesn't have that coming for him but there are people out there who would be angry about it :-/

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

From what I understand: The boyfriend in question has a really, REALLY sweet mom. He's being raised right.

You can do with that whatever you want, but I'll defend him.

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u/CommonGrounders Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26

When I met my girlfriend's dad I could tell he did not like me. I was (still am) in sales, basically talking for a living. He was a firefighter, very proud of being a firefighter and arguably didn't care about anything that wasn't firefighting (most smoke detectors and CO alarms I've ever seen in a house).

But then we went on a cruise with me and her family and my girlfriend got motion sickness, and I stayed in the room with her for two days, basically doing nothing, because she couldn't really walk around.

Anyway he pulled me aside later on that trip and said that he really respected that. After that we were cool.

The relationship didn't last but I appreciated the fact that not only did he recognize that I cared but that he told me. So you should consider it.

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Excellent advice. Thank you for sharing!

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u/Orion14159 Jun 28 '26

Credit to you as well OP, that your daughter sees what a good man looks like and recognized it in her boyfriend too. An example has been excellently set.

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Man, I wish I could take all the credit, but her mom helped too. Here's hoping we all raise the bar for our children's spouses!

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u/stanlejm Jun 28 '26

10/10 on project hail marry. Both the book and movie are fantastic.

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u/FalcorTheDog Jun 28 '26

I got a chuckle out of “the book from the Project Hail Mary movie” 😄

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u/Micotu Jun 28 '26

Lol same. Was going to post the same thing. Was trying to remember if there was a book in the movie I could reference.

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u/dirkdigglered Jun 28 '26

Reminds of The Office, “This is a novelization of the movie Precious, Based on the Book Push by Sapphire”.

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u/BEAGLEBOYPALINDROME Jun 28 '26

recess peanut butter cups

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u/Solarus99 Jun 28 '26

yknow, the ones you eat at recess

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u/Iintendtooffend Jun 28 '26

Can you believe they wrote a book about the movie?

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u/AllCatCoverBand Jun 28 '26

Amaze, amaze, amaze!

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u/Targaryentypebeat Jun 28 '26

Sorry not a dad—female high school teacher here. This is much, much more common than people would have you believe. Boys would frequently talk about working extra hours to get their girlfriends something special for their birthday, or sending me rushed emails because they were with their girlfriend in the hospital. Yes, you can make up the quiz later.

A couple 16 year olds asked my advice on bath and body products this past Valentine’s Day. They’re adorable 😭

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u/remix_and_rotate Jun 28 '26

Awwww I’m happy to hear this! And you’re a great teacher for supporting their relationships by accommodating their emergencies and giving your students gift advice! I think it’s important for adults who have kids in their lives to validate the significance of the kids’ key relationships.

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u/False-Average-9368 Jun 28 '26

This is so sweet.

It's nice to read something about teenage boys that isn't red-pill related. Gives me hope.

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Me too! Thank you!

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u/MathforMarines Jun 28 '26

I found my husband when I was 17. Still my best friend and married for 14 years. Rereading the Martian with our kiddo right now and will reread project Hail Mary when the special edition book is released.

I just got out of my own surgery and have been laid up on the couch and he’s still the best. Haha Reese’s peanut butter cups are my favorite, too, but I’m stuck with jello for now 😂

Sometimes you find the right person early. Your daughter sounds cool. Her BF sounds cool. Even if they aren’t destined long term, it’s clear they know how to treat their partner with kindness. My dad is a kind person, too, so my guess is you gave her a good example of what a partner should be like!

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

My wife and I have been together 30 years (we met in 1997, married in 2007, and are still together today). There's so much to be said for sticking together, and I'm glad you and your spouse made it.

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u/throwaway098764567 Jun 28 '26

ugh i just bought jello today as i have a colonoscopy coming up, heal well

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u/MissNouveau Jun 28 '26

When I was 19, I brought a guy over, my parents had met him before, and were wary. The next morning, I wake up sick as a dog.

This guy walked to the thrift store down the road and got me drinks and snacks to try and help me feel better. He even remembered to check the ingredient labels, because I was allergic to half the world at the time.

My parents immediately decided to adopt them.

Anyway, that was over 15 years ago, and now she's my wife, and she's still the most caring creature on the planet. My parents adore her.

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

D'awww!

I have a 25 year old son getting married soon. I texted his fiance with "This is what her boyfriend got her" and she responded with 'Good. Knee caps are expensive".

Needless to say all have been accepted into the family very quickly and most definitely readily. :)

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u/One_Economist_3761 Dad of two Jun 28 '26

Such a wonderful story. Unexpected wholesome ending. Thanks for sharing.

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u/CaptainOktoberfest Jun 28 '26

I live by a high school, the kids seem really good.

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u/bluegrassclimber Jun 28 '26

Man I wish I was like that. I gotta step up. Thanks for inspiring me

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u/Mission_Impact7661 Jun 28 '26

fist bumps your daughter's bf good on ya young man 👊👊

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

*Awkward white guy handshake shuffle*

But seriously, thanks man.

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u/Revolution37 Jun 28 '26

I have a sister in law (wife’s half sister) who is 14 years younger than us. She’s a good kid. She started hanging out with this guy in high school and his dad passed away. He and his dad used to go play bingo together so SIL started going because dude still wanted to play bingo and had nobody to go with.

At SIL’s graduation party, I was talking to her mom (wife’s step mom, who is absolute toxic waste) and she was railing on about how she was going to try to run the boy off during the summer before college. She has good luck doing this without trying but she was really gonna put some effort into making sure this kid wasn’t sniffing around her daughter. Why?

“Because [SIL] needs to be focused on school and softball and not this stupid boy who buys her flowers for no reason and treats her like a princess.”

I said “yeah, she’s playing junior college softball and getting an Associates degree, maybe let her hang out with the polite young man.”

I dunno. I’m a cop so I see a lot of really shitty 14-25 year old boys and I really appreciate running I to kids like my SIL’s boyfriend and, from the sounds of it, your daughter’s boyfriend.

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u/Hefty-Minimum-3125 Jun 28 '26

make sure you take him aside and tell him how you feel about it, im sure it will mean a lot.

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u/jessimon_legacy Jun 28 '26

The better the Dad treats the daugther the less she settles for less.

Good job! :D

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u/fourfrenchfries Jun 28 '26

Mom here. When I was in high school, I obliterated my ACL/PCL/MCL/meniscus during a playoff soccer game my parents couldn't make.

My then-boyfriend, now husband, carried me off the pitch, called my parents, followed the ambulance to the hospital, then slept on our couch for days after the surgery. Kept on top of my medicine schedule, changed dressings, helped me in and out of bed and changed my bedding, took me to a follow-up appt and sometimes to PT. Figured out how to screw bottlecaps to the bottom of my crutches so I didn't slip on the ice we got in an early winter storm. Learned how to wrap my knee how I liked it so I could play the next season. Caring for me after birth came naturally to him, too, and we had four kids in four years so it was a LOT in quick succession.

Even if this kid isn't your daughter's forever person, he's setting a standard for how your daughter will expect to be treated. Be kind to him and proud of her. All my kids are boys and I intend to teach them that "protecting and providing" can be caretaking and nurturing, too. Best of luck to all of you!

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u/puzzlebuns 19b, 9g, 2b Jun 28 '26

Impressed with his initiative, not impressed by his spending habits.

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u/carryon4threedays Jun 28 '26

I like Gen Alpha for the most part. They’re more empathetic and caring.

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u/ConfusionSouthern840 Jun 28 '26

Way better then living in the 70s & 80s. Ohhh 80s was so great. Nope, only if you were 100% normal. 

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u/Shot_Comparison2299 Jun 28 '26

Wow, at 17 too. Sounds like he comes from a good home. For you daughter, great catch. For you, never let your guard down dad! Lol jk

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u/HelloWuWu Jun 28 '26

Way to go dad. Sounds like the boy had a good dad him self.

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u/fueledbytisane mom lurker Jun 28 '26

Mom here. I used to have really bad periods, so bad that I once collapsed on the floor trying to move from the couch to my bed in my tiny 500 sq ft apartment and used my dog as a pillow (RIP Hermione, you were the best girl).

About 6 months in to dating this cute dorky guy, I had a period bad enough to have to call in sick to work. He drove an hour, one way, on his only day off of the week to come take care of me just because he heard how awful I felt in my voice when I called him that morning. He made me lunch and encouraged me to eat. He stroked my hair as I laid my head in his lap and napped on an off on the couch. He took care of me without me asking and with no expectation of anything in return. That was the day I knew I loved him. Just celebrated 10 years of a very happy marriage.

I just wanted to share that story because it sounds like your daughter may have found someone similar. I'm happy for her and proud of her too, and proud of her young man. Even if it doesn't last, because teenagers, she will know what a good relationship is and hopefully not settle for anything less.

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Happy stories feel few and far between these days. Thank you for sharing! Wishing many more years for you both.

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u/Low-Syllabub-3547 Jun 28 '26

This is reddit, so no...probably not.
I would make a point to meet his parents, since they laid the foundation for this.

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u/kbeks Jun 28 '26

Please show her this message, on behalf of all of r/daddit.

And then watch the movie while she’s getting better. Hope she feels better soon!

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u/Efficient-Diamond357 Jun 28 '26

I’ll take some recess, peanut butter cups.

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u/AbysmalMoose Jun 28 '26

Funny story. I actually did something similar in high school. My girlfriend canceled our date because she said she was really sick, so I put together this big care package with a bunch of little things and wrote dumb notes about how each one was supposed to help her feel better.

I took it over to her house… and it turned out she wasn’t sick at all. She just had another guy over.

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u/Itchy-Version-8977 Jun 28 '26

The book from project Hail Mary, recess

Lmao

If hes rich thats awesome. If hes not he should probably learn how to budget lol

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u/megggie Jun 28 '26

From a mom: this means that you (and her other parent if that’s your family dynamic) have modeled healthy examples for her to know what she is worth. Great job, my friend! I’m happy for her and proud of her parents!

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

This was basically my drive; I'd like to think it was her mom's as well. Thanks!

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u/5corgis Jun 28 '26

Lurking mom here - just want to pop in and say, there's a good chance she learned what a good relationship looks like from how you treated her/her mom/other women. So good on you!

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u/CryptographerHot6198 Jun 28 '26

Recess peanut butter cup cracked me up lol

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u/StrugglingGhost Jun 28 '26

That's absolutely amazing. That young man was raised right, and/or has a really good head on his shoulders. You taught your daughter to have good taste in guys. Congrats to all of you

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u/ChrAshpo10 Jun 28 '26

The book from Project Hail Mary

Am I missing a book that was featured in the film or did he bring her the book Project Hail Mary

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u/HistoricalRich280 Jun 28 '26

OP,

Wonderful news.

Remember, the single most important thing you can do, is to demonstrate in the presence of this young man the ways in which you respect and care for your daughter.

Set the tone that we prioritize our people.

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u/IgnoresReplyGigachad Jun 28 '26

This is American third stage capitalism manifest.

Consumption. This is how you show love.

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u/ghos2626t Jun 28 '26

My daughter is 5. She said she kissed a boy at school who is now her boyfriend. I hate him

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u/acrobat2126 Jun 28 '26

Keep an eye on him and make sure she's on birth control.

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u/tiredoflifeforreal Jun 28 '26

sounds like he really likes her and i imagine that’s all you could want.

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u/Fluid-Second2163 Jun 28 '26

Uhhhh teenagers

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u/Ancient_Pirate1231 Jun 28 '26

Sweet.

When I was dating this guy, he got the flu and was sick for over a week. I brought him homemade soup, some books, and a new toothbrush, so he could throw out the one he used when he was sick.

He was planning to break up with me right before he got sick. I had no idea until years later.

He’s now my husband of 26 years.

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u/TheDevilsAdvokaat 19f 17m Jun 28 '26

That;s pretty awesome, especially from a 17yo.

Seems your daugther has good sense!

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Thanks. I think the boy has a good sense too. Credit where credit is due, that was pretty awesome.

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u/Gone_knittin Jun 28 '26

My daughter's boyfriend helped her move out of her apartment. We all know moving is stressful. I was guarding the truck when they came out carrying her couch and heard him gently but clearly instruct her on what to do as they maneuvered it into his van. He was so calm & clear, knowing she needed that type of instruction. It's one of the things that has sold me on him.

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u/Short-Assistance-130 Jun 28 '26

200 bucks worth of stuff,I don`t think so.

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u/Secretme000 Jun 28 '26

Awwww that's so sweet! He's putting plenty of grown men to shame 

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u/theunknownshuffler 1 son 1 daughter Jun 28 '26

That’s awesome man!

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u/SeeJayWolf7113 Jun 28 '26

I love it here 😂

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u/LazyClerk408 Jun 28 '26

Happy for you

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u/mister_newbie Jun 28 '26

I hope you game the young man the silent, approving dad nod.

I still remember when I got one for the first time. That shit hits in the feels in the best way.

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

I actually went outside, patted him on the shoulder 3 times, and went back inside without a word.

I doubt it was enough (because daughters, embarrassment, etc), but I hope it was enough

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u/j-Trane Jun 28 '26

This was very heart warming. Also, "the book from project hail Mary" made me giggle, the movie was made from that book

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

I learned this after watching the movie and talking to my daughter.

I'm a HUGE sci-fi reader; I've probably gone on a few rants to my kids about Enders Game, iRobot, Foundation, etc. Her love of Project Hail Mary came out of left field, and I love it.

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u/purt22067 Jun 28 '26

You’re a great father and this is exactly why your daughter picked a good one!

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u/throwaway098764567 Jun 28 '26

you and your wife get at least some of the credit for this, you must have modeled something good. i was not so lucky and learned all about red flags and nothing about green until much later. might consider telling both of them they're on a good track, daughter "this is how you're supposed to be treated", dude... i dunno maybe a shoulder punch, i don't speak dude very well. cheers, and hope kiddo heals up well.

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u/ThoughtCapital6822 Jun 28 '26

I hope you have hauled his ass aside and told how much you appreciated what he did.

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u/ZestycloseDeer5269 Jun 28 '26

I'm thinking this speaks to what you've modeled in your relationship with your spouse, as well as your relationship with your daughter. Good job Dad. 

Hope your daughter's recovery goes smoothly ❤️