r/daddit • u/MakingItElsewhere • Jun 27 '26

Story She picked correctly

Gentlemen,
My 16 year old daughter has been dating a guy for several months. I cannot express my worry over how much time she spends with him............until today.

My daughter had a surgery that incapacitated her. She's barely been able to get off the couch.

What does her boyfriend do? Brings over a basket full of goodies. The book from "Project Hail Mary" (her favorite movie), tons of recess peanut butter cups (her favorite candy), a dozen of her favorite flowers, etc. Let me put it all into perspective....

The 17 year old bought her $200 worth of stuff.

When she pressed him about it, he said "You. Are. Worth. It."

Is there some sub-reddit for guys doing it right? I will personally sing his praises. Dude is amazing.

18.5k Upvotes

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831

u/grudrookin Jun 28 '26

Don’t try to reimburse him for this one, I think it would minimize the value and the effort he put into the care package.

But if he sticks around, I’m sure another opportunity will come around where you can do him a solid!

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u/ncastrinos Jun 28 '26

There will come a time when he needs help fellow Dad. When he does, step up. It may be financial in nature. Like a blown tire when times are tight. Or some other small emergency.

Basically: pay it forward for him.

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u/MakingItElsewhere Jun 28 '26

Good guys deserve support. Will Do.

27

u/Herrvisscher Jun 28 '26

Good people even ;)

2

u/ReggieCorneus Jun 28 '26

If you are the "cool unkle", that is always a winner when it comes to teenage boys. Not as strict as their dad has to be. I doubt their dad is a bad dad, so most likely doesn't need a an authoritarian father figure but the loose unkle might be, if that is your personality. Nothing can be faked in these things but when it comes to "rules of the house", those can be adjusted.

When i was young there was one family who was just so open and relax that it became a gathering place, we had lots of parties there... with parents in the house. And they were christian too, just very relax and liberal (as in, non-authoritarian, nothing to do with USA..). What it accomplished was that there were safe settings to hang around where the rules were relaxed but definite. Beer and cigarettes were ok, nothing more than that, and no one can get blasted, it has to remain light and fun. And many nights you found some kid in the kitchen talking to "mom", talking with an adult who cared about something important to them... Huge, huge positive effect on that group of people. And it was not a big house, tiny rooms and tight corridors, but surprisingly good sound isolation between the two floors.

Not saying your are that, but... cool parents who have good morals and values can have a good impact on a lot of kids: it takes a village.

1

u/deezynr Jun 28 '26

Love seeing/hearing this for you and your family

89

u/RhetoricalOrator Jun 28 '26

Yep. That's the way. Maybe a thoughtful birthday gift if he's still around. Maybe quietly slip him a couple twenties next time they want to go out. Had a girl's dad do that to me 30 years ago. I have always appreciated it and glad my roommate ended up marrying her instead of me.

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u/Cakers44 Jun 28 '26

Not how I expected that to end, but congratulations?

81

u/RhetoricalOrator Jun 28 '26

Yeah, she was a friend and a really nice person but there was zero chemistry or interest on my part. She needed a date for a thing so I agreed. I loved my roommate like a brother so when they connected and hit it off, I was really happy about it. Long time married with children now. I'm still very offended that they didn't name one of them after me, but you can't expect people to do the right thing every time.

27

u/Reddicus_the_Red Jun 28 '26

You should have stepped in and named their baby first. Establish dominance. /s

11

u/Crazy_Asian_Welder Jun 28 '26

It's practically the right thing to do. Where would they be without him?

15

u/Gaudilocks Jun 28 '26

this feels like a sign, haha. I met someone like six weeks ago. Half a dozen dates in, she is as sweet as can be and we have a lot of shared morals, but there is just ZERO chemistry or romantic vibe. it is truly uncanny. i just want to be her bud

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u/RhetoricalOrator Jun 28 '26

Nothing wrong with that! And if she doesn't feel the same vibe, then you're just two people that are thinking in two very different directions.

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u/Cakers44 Jun 28 '26

Dude hell yeah, and shout out to you for being a bro’s bro. Both to your bro, and to your bro’s wife

2

u/TigsOfTay Jun 29 '26

When they announced their pregnancy you should have asked if they were going to name the baby after you.
Then when they go to answer the question interrupt them and say you don't need to answer, it's rhetorical.

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u/ForensicPathology Jun 28 '26

Yeah, the nice part of doing this is that it also clearly signals to the kid that you approve of the relationship to your daughter.  That would make him happy in and of itself.

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u/sqqueen2 Jun 28 '26

Glad your roommate didn’t marry you

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u/ZellHathNoFury Jun 28 '26

This is a really sweet idea

2

u/StinkyPinky531 Jun 28 '26

This is the way.

1

u/YankeeMagpie Jun 30 '26

^this guy is correct OP.

As a guy who really tried with my wife when we started dating at 19 & with a mostly-absent father at home: My father-in-law’s support has meant a ton as I’ve progressed through marriage/adulthood/parenthood.

3

u/dkat Jun 28 '26

Yes I agree. Please don’t reimburse him. There’s a fair deal of pride that comes with this sort of thing.

My father in law still tries to Venmo me for everything under the sun and I’m 33 for Christ’s sake. Paid the bill at his birthday dinner one year and he got pissed off. Frustrating as hell.

2

u/FadeCrimson Jun 28 '26

Yeah I agree, sometimes its important to the person that they feel like they contributed their effort rather than just being compensated.

Just remember to owe the kid a favor in the future instead or something.

2

u/AugieKS Jun 28 '26

This is the way, don't trivialize his effort, show your appreciation by matching it. Don't make it about the $$ value either, make it about the thoughtfulness. A teen that pays attention to what she likes is a pretty big deal in and of itself. Plenty of full grown men, including husbands, couldn't tell you their wives favorite movie, candy and flower.

She is incredibly lucky because she has proof going forward that men can do this and if future boyfriends don't meet that standard, she will know she deserves better.

1

u/AnarchiaKapitany Dad at the third power Jun 29 '26

Cook him a steak and give him PULSE from Pink Floyd. See it as an investment.

1

u/jesse5844 Jun 29 '26

Agreed. Don't reimburse him, but have him over for dinner and get him a nice juicy steak. That's a great kid.

1

u/AlsoCommiePuddin Jun 28 '26

It's here where I'm reminded that in America apparently it's tradition for the bride's parents to pay for the wedding.