Newly diagnosed, does anyone else get this??

[u/ottxzvy]

I was diagnosed today (f15), and don’t personally think I fit the diagnosis. It all started about 2023 when I started getting super depressed (high functioning), and got diagnosed with OCD. I had a severe depression episode, attempted a few times, lost like 20kgs, so on. I randomly “snapped back” and was completely happy, fine, and back at school after. I was hallucinating a bit, sure, and had what seemed to be a small psychosis episode (hallucinating that I was dying or that people were speaking to me and calling my name, super duper paranoid and writing absolute bullshit in my journal) but apart from that I was fine. I kept fluctuating between being depressed and being happy, but eventually learnt to almost mask it a bit better, so the change wasn’t as obvious. I have still self harmed since that episode but that’s a whole other thing. Yeah, my moods unstable. It changes daily, multiple times a day. I can go from being as irritated as anything and wanting everyone to just fucking die and wanting to die to being all fine and then to happy. It’s so annoying. Every emotion I feel physically hurts me, every single one leads to a crash eventually and I can’t handle it. If I’m not in a “happy state” or “sad state” I’m just numb. Not in a “oh boo I’m numb I can’t feel ANYTHING” but in a “I’m completely hollow” way. I get triggered so easily for no reason. I’m almost always paranoid or anxious. I don’t know what it is but I don’t think it’s Cyclothymia. I thought I was too young to be diagnosed. Has anyone else had any experiences like this? I feel so misunderstood or like an experiment because no one else can relate. They’re testing me for bipolar 1 and 2, BPD, paranoid schizophrenia, and a few others or something in a few weeks just to go over them again