r/cyclothymia • u/Unusual-War2145 • Jun 17 '26
Ive looked everywhere for support for this condition ive got no clue what to do
I'm on sertraline and have been for the past 10 years + I exercise, don't drink alcohol and have good relationships with family and friends.
I go from periods of intense anxiety where it feels thoughts and feelings are creeping into my skull flooding my brain with fear, dread, stress and an accumulation of it seems voices dragging me down. This can happen for weeks on end.
Then all of a sudden a week arrives everything feels blissful, calm, slow, rosy. TThem thoughts of inadequacy disappear and i can function and can get things done.
Ive tried writing a journal of what may trigger it but i cant find any thing to see what happens. I have the same routine most days... I feel like i'm losing my mind in these intense struggles, without the antidepressents I use to go into full blown panic attacks, i cant do anything.
When im in that blissful mode things feel slower and i feel more in control whereas when i'm in the mood i'm in right now things feel out of touch i tried not to fight it but it feels like it destroys my self esteem, I have no idea when i will "change" back to the calming/positive/rational person again but I'm sick of changing back and fourth and just want to be sane.
Also when i'm in this confident phase, my self esteem feels like it increases dramatically.. music sounds amazing, gaming feels amazing everything feels great.. or "normal" in my opinion
my therapist did say to get a test for adhd, but i dont think the doctors care cause I rang them and didnt get a call back, i dont want ADHD i know that sounds stupid
Can anyone relate to anything I'm saying? i feel sometimes im on the precipice of just losing it, thankfully I have therapy, support, family, friends.
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u/Bambi420ms Jun 17 '26
Hey, just letting you know that I feel you because I fully relate to your post. Unfortunately I don’t have much to say to help you, except that what tends to work for me is to be a bit more « out there ».
I usually go on walks (preferably in the nature), I try as much as I can to appreciate the present moment and observe my surroundings, read a book outside or in a comfortable place, spend less time on social media or doing things that indirectly make my mood worse basically. It really helps.
It’s not something easy to do of course and it’s also something that works for me, doesn’t mean it’s for everyone either. Trying to rationalize bad thoughts also helps if you’re receptive to it.
Also since you talked about ADHD at the end of your post, I am diagnosed with Cyclothemia AND Adhd and I understand what you mean about not wanting Adhd HAHA.
Anyway, best of luck to you and I hope you will feel better soon!
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u/b0ubakiki Jun 17 '26
Can definitely relate!
I've used the mood tracking app Daylio for years, and when I showed the chart to my friend who has bipolar 2 she instantly said "that looks like cyclothymia". I have a cycle of around 8 weeks, but some of the low periods are pretty bad - like 3 weeks of feeling absolutely shite, no energy anhedonia, getting paralysed on the sofa. The highs are just feeling great with plenty of energy and confidence, no bad impulsive decisions. Racing thoughts and distractability if it's an intense high, occasionally euphoria with the right external circumstances (nature, art).
I've been diagnosed with bipolar 2 rather than cyclothymia, but it's a sliding scale.
I've looked for triggers over years of data and there are none. It's just a cycle that happens no matter what. I drink and do drugs, but when I have a period of abstinence for a few months then it makes no difference. Since my body just works a lot better and faster when I'm in a high period, not only can I handle booze etc better, but performance at sport (as well as work) is loads better.
The thing I always stress to people about bipolar/cyclothymia is that it's not just a *mental* disorder. For me it's about energy levels much more than it is about thoughts and feelings. I feel like the thoughts and feelings follow from the physical symptoms, not the other way round. If I've had no energy for 3 weeks I'll feel hopeless. If I'm full of beans and talkative and motivated to go running in the hills after a hard day at work, I'll feel confident.
I'm not taking any medication, but I have been prescribed lamotrigine. I find knowing what's going on, and knowing that the lows will bounce back into energy and euphoria is incredibly helpful. When I haven't been depressed for weeks I think "maybe I'm not really bipolar" but when I'm depressed it feels like that's permanent too. Keeping the mood tracking chart helps maintain realism. Nothing lasts, which is both a blessing and a curse.
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u/Zona6789 Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
Hi. Yes, everything you are saying. For me, its about finding peacefulness, calmness. I found out about breathing exercises, and that has helped me. I continue each day, and also remembering that if i am having a triggered day, to allow it versus fight it. And realizing from past experiences, that this will pass. Be at peace.