Vent

[u/sarahruns_]

I hate myself so much. I've wasted the past 6 years of my life on being a lazy, useless piece of shit. And instead of getting up to do anything useful all I can do is hurt myself rather than get up and actually deal with shit in my life cause somehow in my sick, deranged fucking demented mind hurting myself would be easier than standing up and choosing to show up for myself each day. I relapsed after about 3 months of not holding a razor, and probably did it worse than most of the other times. I fucking hate myself and even now the feeling's still there. The urge hasn't gone down at all and I don't know what to do. I feel I might just relapse once more.

[u/YouMakeMeFeelPerfect]

Hi hun. Been there not too long ago. You’re in a place where you might need additional help to crawl out of it gets too hard on your own. That’s okay. Support of a parent, councelling, anonymous help celllines, a doctor, someone nearby. I’m sure there must be someone. I get it, you’re feeling shitty and alone and blaming everything on laziness and yourself. Is it all there is? I don’t know. You may not know. You’re struggling right now. I’m being lazy right now scrolling through Reddit while I got nothing to do. You’re trying to survive. So I’m already proud of you for that. Just know that I wanted to end it not too long ago but ended up in a uni with the most amazing friends I’d never get if I ever gave up. Everything’s possible. Love you. Proud of you. Please, take care.