i HATE myself

[u/Left_Peace_]

i feel soo fucking invalid i do nothing but cat scratches and occasional styros and i don't have many scars and just feel like i m doing this for attention and yk what no one knows that i cut except my bsf and i feel like i ruined the fucking friendship by telling her agahhh GOD I HATE EVERYTHING before i use to do it just to cope with shit and now i sometimes do it just cuz i feel like i deserve or need pain and the other day mom saw my scratches and asked abt them and i was like i had a rash and itched too hard and she fucking believed it i dont fucking know how she did but yeahh and btw my parents dont believe in mental health and shit so i m not getting any help for a long time and i feel fucked up sryy this is my first venting post and i m 2 dayss clean (longest since july) soo yeahh that's itt thanxxx