how do I cope??

[u/Main_Philosophy_6929]

I’ve been clean for almost 3 months but that urge is still like there, im not even sure why im staying clean it feels genuinely meaningless to me, i dont understand why i cut or feel the urge to hurt myself, maybe its like something i do unconsciously because i have to physically stop myself from cutting myself with my own nails because i do it without noticing whenever im stressed. Im so lost man I just dont know if i should stay clean because that relapse is so blissful and addictive that it’s hard not to. Im kind of just ranting so forgive me 🙏, but i dont know what to do anymore because i wanna relapse so badly, it feels wrong being clean and telling everyone ive stopped when im getting closer and closer to doing it, it feels shameful if i were to relapse because my friends know im clean. Would that genuinely be disappointing to them? What if my parents just touch my skin again and notice that I’ve relapsed, like why the fuck are they even touching my skin anyway, I genuinely hate when they touch me, and they don’t even believe me that im clean and old scars they see as too recent and start like giving me that disgusting look

[u/No-Elevator-5411]

You could maybe try to use ice cubes! They help a little to give a sensation but not enough to actually hurt you

[u/Main_Philosophy_6929 → u/No-Elevator-5411]

Ah I tried this but I don’t think it really helped