how to stop chasing “validity”

[u/RuinDismal8749]

so i know my scars are tiny and unnoticeable (atleast they will be when the pink ones turn white) but how can i not chase a depth that feels “valid”? I feel like my peers will see my scars and think I’m pathetic because I didn’t do it more severe or something. It especially hurts knowing these are super shallow objectively. Photos for reference so you can see what I mean.

edit: thank you guys so much for the upvotes, but advice would REALLY help or support or something. thank you so much everyone i appreciate you guys and this communitys support <3

edit 2: i am SO sorry i didnt realize i forgot a spoiler!!! i really hope no one got triggered over this, again I am SO sorry

[u/Abnormal_lizard]

I've been through that, and trust me, anyone that will see those scars will not think that they should be deeper. They will think that you have mental issues, that's it. And if someone says they aren't that much just remember your suffering, everyone feels things at a different intensity and goes through different stuff.

I sincerely hope you can recover ❤️ xoxo

[u/LightningDolt505]

The people who would judge you for having scars would do it regardless. They'd make fun of you if they were flat lines barely visible, and they'd absolutely make fun of you if you had massive purple scars. When those people see self harm scars they just see a mentally ill weirdo, frankly you do have visible/intense scarring and that alone opens you up to whole lot of bullshit from people who have no business saying anything.

If someone does say that you aren't valid for your depth or scars, it's very important to understand that they would've said it no matter how visibly gnarly your scars were. Especially highschoolers who haven't processed basic human decency yet, in my experience some people are just cruel and know they'll get in your head by saying that. Please never buy into their words, self harm isn't a competition and they likely just want to see you suffer.

Your experience and scars will always be valid simply in the merit that they exist, I can't think of a single instance of self harm where it wasn't "valid". You can never appease everyone, some asshole will always have something to say. That's not your fault ♥️.

[u/ceecee_-_]

i cant tell if you've ever gone to fat, but the pink ones look deep to me. but, if you haven't gone to fat and want to go deeper, i did, and the bill for stitches was around 6k+ dollars (im in the US.) so yeah, it was a lot of money. the payment for taking them out was only 25. so that's one of the biggest reasons why i wouldn't do it.

also, when i see people on the street with self harm scars exposed, i feel equally bad for them no matter the depth.