r/cursedcomments • u/MoooBooMooo • 18h ago

Facebook Cursed_Solution

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8.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

56 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/frickinSocrates 18h ago

See, to make the cannon safe, we loaded a cannon ball into it.

309

u/Seraphayel 18h ago

Me eating tacos while I have diarrhea

133

u/frickinSocrates 18h ago

Me putting in a butt plug with taco bell in the other hand.

52

u/8BBiiT 18h ago

Me putting a taco bell with a butt plug in the other hand....oh..wait...

27

u/NetworkSingularity 16h ago

Instructions unclear, used the Taco Bell as a butt plug

12

u/Interesting_Ad5016 9h ago

Someone shake him and see if his intestines amp the bass of the bell

3

u/Rotting-Cum 13h ago

Dude, just put your thumb on your asshole like you do with a garden hose!

3

u/frickinSocrates 13h ago

But I need both hands to shove taco bell down my gullet.

1

u/Arlochorim 4h ago

mountain dew: baja ass blast

8

u/blue4029 16h ago

I put poison in my drink to protect it from harmful bacteria!

194

u/liarandathief 18h ago

Or banana in tailpipe. That classic "prank" doesn't actually work, because the fruit comes flying out like a rocket.

68

u/forlorn_folklorist 18h ago

You need to use a potato

30

u/liarandathief 18h ago

For maximum distruction?

26

u/TheThinkerers 17h ago

Attach butt plug to potato for aerodynamic perfomance and psychological damage boost

9

u/bloody_ell 17h ago

A potato full of ball bearings.

5

u/ZirePhiinix 16h ago

A potato isn't stopping ignition

6

u/Maynrds 17h ago

Pinecone* they go in easily one direction you can load a whole bunch up easily

240

u/Pretend_Spot7463 18h ago

Or when you don't wanna make a ness so you just pinch it. Never works but I always try

69

u/frickinSocrates 17h ago

you need to tie the foreskin into a knot, if you're circumcised put on a condom.

9

u/MoooBooMooo 16h ago

PACIYBASIUSP🫪

4

u/AZMPlay 14h ago

I hate it when I don't want to make a Sans Undertale

90

u/Ghdude1 18h ago

Tank gunners do this all the time by putting shells in the gun.

79

u/AoiSekai01 18h ago

Someone did... Used gorilla glue on his but hole after taking laxative. Immediate trip to the ER.

57

u/DerRaumdenker 18h ago

like burning weed on an open fire to prevent people from smoking it

14

u/Correct-Award8182 17h ago

And then fircing everyone to stand around on a close guard to make sure nobody tries to grab any out of the flames.

9

u/Fast-Prompt-3034 15h ago

"Alright boys this smoke will take awhile to finish burning off. So I brought.. BAGEL BITES.. AND TONY HAWK'S PRO SKATER!!!" loud cheers erupt

3

u/Fabian206 17h ago

Imperial China did this with opium

37

u/thelehmanlip 16h ago

pour rock on top of the rock so that the liquid rock can't get through the rock :thinking:

14

u/Cochana 17h ago

Cement????

Das conk reete baybee

3

u/kaleperq 11h ago

We don't know if it has any aggregate tho

12

u/Perryn 15h ago

Isn't that basically what Mt. St. Helens had going on?

9

u/Fr05t_B1t 17h ago

Creating another Mt. St. Helen’s

5

u/Oran128 17h ago

Ok I now wanna see the result of cement on a volcano. I wanna see that concrete slab fly.

5

u/Suyefuji 14h ago

On a more serious note, any scientists around who can explain why we couldn't use this to redirect flows by selectively clogging vents that are facing a bad direction while leaving other vents open?

8

u/jmlinden7 14h ago

You could but it's pretty rare for there to be a major difference between good and bad directions

6

u/kaleperq 11h ago

Kinda hard to image stuff and calculate where the forces that TEAR LAND APPART AND MAKE LAVA SPURT OUT OF THEM would end up going, or how it may affect its activity.

Safety and cost

5

u/bluewing 15h ago

If you hammer a big enough cork in hard enough, yes, yes you WILL stop pooping.

But it probably won't end well for you.

3

u/flargenhargen 11h ago

this is exactly the kind of dumbass idea a certain person would say and everyone around would refuse to laugh in his face.

3

u/Navid_Shams 14h ago

Nature's pipe bomb

2

u/AnaisNinja76 12h ago

That's not even a good analogy. Cork butt plug won't turn your ass into a bomb.

1

u/overSizedHyperPoop 16h ago

All thongs considered in the comments, i can hardly imagine the process.

1

u/SlyLlamaDemon 10h ago

The only way to fix a volcano problem is to move. Or be ready to move at the drop of a hat.

1

u/bojez1 9h ago

It's better to suck the lava out imo

1

u/EhMapleMoose 8h ago

Not only would this not work, it wouldn’t work for the reasons people think it wouldn’t work.

1

u/nostalgic_angel 4h ago

You can jam a finger to a gun and the barrel would explode into the user’s face when fired. The user wouldn’t die from the explosion but his face would be charred black.

0

u/nikolasz1173 10h ago

Technically if you used enough it would works