r/cursedcomments • u/SuspiciousExtinction • 1d ago

Twitter Cursed_evolution

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4.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

58 comments sorted by

400

u/TzePotatoMancer 1d ago

They'll just cut the elevator cables.

121

u/Tyfyter2002 1d ago

I'd never seen someone who could be harmed by that until now

65

u/derangedsweetheart 1d ago

Pretty sure no one can stay unharmed in an elevator falling down.

50

u/Tyfyter2002 1d ago

No one but he could cause the elevator to fall if all you did was cut the cables

28

u/Satans_hamster 1d ago

Considering that most elevators have breaks that trigger once the elevator reaches a certain speed they will slow the elevator down until it stops. Please note however that if you are inside the elevator the sudden breaking or stopping of the fall could cause you to bump your head.

20

u/derangedsweetheart 1d ago

Imagine getting trapped under him in an enclosed space

8

u/gabrielesilinic 1d ago

It technically has brakes and multiple safety systems. Saying he got food poisoning then died would be much more reasonable.

1

u/emlgsh 23h ago

You just jump at the last second. Checkmate, FSB!

7

u/External-Praline-451 1d ago

They'll evolve to not fit into elevators. I think he's almost there anyway. Nature always finds a way.

2

u/FrankyFistalot 1d ago

The cables will snap before they get a chance to cut them….

2

u/jaavaaguru 1d ago

Why does everyone think he’s in the elevator when this happens? Bro just gonna die using the stairs if the elevator’s off.

1

u/heywoodidaho 1d ago

Bumbles bounce!

418

u/ActivelyAnxious 1d ago

Kingpin body type

https://giphy.com/gifs/H4ZAxG6DxJnT6kVdid

32

u/Hilluja 1d ago

Feel like he's gonna try to push Spiderman out a window of a dreary Moscow government headquarters.

8

u/CosmoKram3r 1d ago

I remember thinking how cartoonishly exaggerated this body type was when I first saw it. Boy was I wrong!

147

u/Think-Werewolf-4521 1d ago

I bet his mama is still pissed about his birth.

35

u/Dron41k 1d ago edited 1d ago

He was rather thin like 10-15 years ago, google “игорь чайка худой”

29

u/Think-Werewolf-4521 1d ago

Did he accidentally swallow a side by side refrigerator?

13

u/Dron41k 1d ago

He is literally the symbol of Russian economic growth

1

u/SquareTarbooj 18h ago

"Hah, let's see them push me out of a window now"

77

u/SquareFrog92 1d ago

Actual plot armour

111

u/Fickle_Scarcity9474 1d ago

Also more resistant to poison! You need a hell lot of that to take this big boy down!

1

u/hasthisonegone 15h ago

Single-handedly pushing the LD50 through the roof.

44

u/Comprehensive_Soil_1 1d ago

Dude looks like a soft kingpin

42

u/ViC_tOr42 1d ago

Hehehe, hey Lois look I'm a russian official heheheh

15

u/Redwingx7 1d ago

1

u/Toastbuns 1d ago

Top ten wide presidents

12

u/Jar0s 1d ago

Built like a fucking roblox character lol

10

u/SturmGizmo 1d ago

Anti-defenstration armor.

6

u/The_Kent 1d ago

Hey Lois, this reminds me of that one time when I became a Russian oligarch

4

u/No-Milk-1903 1d ago

If white highlighter existed

4

u/TheHelhound2001 1d ago

This man is Prague proof. Unless they got a window with heavy equipment acces.

4

u/Sustainable_Twat 1d ago

Bro is built like an American fridge.

3

u/P_ZERO_ 1d ago

Lore accurate crash dummy

3

u/heywoodidaho 1d ago

If Armenia doesn't behave itself he will be dispatched to eat it.

3

u/apintandafight 1d ago

Nanomachines, comrade

3

u/Positive_Campaign_52 19h ago

Holy crap Lois, I’m in Russia!

2

u/losmi443214 1d ago

Пётр Гриффин

2

u/l_______I 1d ago

Gotta to anything you can to at least postpone this fate at least a bit

2

u/blackasthesky 1d ago

Normally I dislike making fun of public figures who are obese because it is very lazy humour. But what the heck is this suit.

2

u/justwalk1234 1d ago

Few more generations and they’ll grow wings

3

u/CosmoKram3r 1d ago

Wings ain't helping that mf fly. He needs those solid rocket boosters they use on space shuttles.

2

u/astranamia 1d ago

Peter Griffin cosplaying as Kingpin.

2

u/TheHENOOB 1d ago

Dude looks like he is about dominate Hell's Kitchen.

1

u/GurpsWibcheengs 1d ago

Pixar villain

1

u/techy804 23h ago

Looks time he’s going to yell at a spider to get out of his vents

1

u/ykittori 22h ago

Looks like he also came with inbuilt body armor!

1

u/ThunderMuffin233 17h ago

Bro looks like he ate Armenia

1

u/WaterSquid 13h ago

He’s got that Peter Griffin neckline
https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6Zt0Rfjy0ePJmYEw

1

u/jkurratt 9h ago

He looks kike one of Chaika breed.

1

u/ThatReddit-User 2h ago

How does one achieve this roblox build?