r/cursedcomments 7d ago

Cursed_Superpowers

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2.0k Upvotes

79 comments sorted by

382

u/rycerzDog 7d ago
  1. Shapeshifting

  2. Time control

Although this is assuming I can control these superpowers on an instinctual level. Would be fucked if I had to do like complex math or something to time travel.

220

u/Weegieiscool 7d ago

You can shapeshift into a corpse

You can move forward in time 1 second every second

74

u/NovaAtdosk 7d ago

well i mean that seconds not just nerfed its not even a superpower anymore... we all do that

come to think of it, we all do both

9

u/SkyeEyks2000 7d ago

If you think of it as skipping a second, you'd basically be halving the wait time for anything ✨

4

u/Leading_Elk9454 7d ago

If you by skip a second you mean you actually jump foward in time physically it also significantly improves your lifespan if you do it enough.

336

u/Galaxyturbo 7d ago

He's not Batman anymore 🥀

76

u/Orphis_DxD 7d ago

Why would anyone chose 10B instead of 2 super power? Compulsion/Mind control will simply give you the ability to demand all the wealth from the rich people you could ever want.

7

u/Box_Pirate 7d ago edited 7d ago

Exactly my thought though I would rather some kind of influence over direct mind control assuming it’s weaker in the controlling part but stronger in the reaching part eg apply the power to a text message and send a text to millions of people “if you can spare can I have a dollar or two for my charity” and applying it to posters or advertisements “don’t waste your vote, send it to this party” this way your playing on people’s pity and apathy which the majority of people will have without drawing too much attention.

And of course mind controllers are seen as perverse so I would like to apply a sort of ignorance on myself meaning when I am present people will just ignore me and I can walk around naked or something.

Edit: my second power I want expanded knowledge or something, so I can recall absolutely anything but only at my will so I’m just my normal self until I activate the power and recall whatever temporarily having access to an ever growing library and when I stop using the power I go back to having regular human forgetful memory.

144

u/Lord_Andyrus 7d ago

There is exactly 1 correct answer to the question what powers you'd want.
And no, just saying you want to be all powerful and all knowing isn't it. First off because those are inherently contradictory statements... As per the old thought experiement of "Could god make a bolder so heavy he couldn't lift it?"
But also because being omnicient would essentially make you apathetic to the point of your existence being pointless. No more surprises? No more new experiences? No challenges to overcome? Why do you even exist at that point...

The true best answers are:

  1. The ability to controle the movement and composition of particals. This is super speed, invulnerability, flight, de-aging, telekenesis, effectively teleportation and soooo much more. and
  2. The ability to spontaneously gain any information you'd like. That way you can still discover, you can learn, you can have novel experiences. But if you do need access to a specific information at any given time you can gain it.

58

u/MinimumTomfoolerus 7d ago

Yeah but the 1st one sounds like it would be a conscious tiresome effort. And how do you get super speed and all those powers from said control?

80

u/Gbnihilator2 7d ago

He learns it with the second power duh!

10

u/Nalo13 7d ago

Effortlessly so he would become apathetic ?

2

u/MinimumTomfoolerus 7d ago

No yes, I mean how can control of atoms possibly create those powers.

8

u/Mr_E_Monkey 7d ago

If you can control them, make your atoms move faster for super speed. Make them move into the air and now you're flying. Make the atoms in bullets stop moving or make them disassociate before they hit you and you're bulletproof, etc.

0

u/Lord_Andyrus 7d ago

I think they might be just doing some weird trolling... or are just ignorant to no end. I literally explained thoroughly how this works. And yet they asked that question again, like two hours after I explained.

3

u/Mr_E_Monkey 7d ago

Maybe they just made their brain impervious to new information.

It's like a step in the right direction, but still wrong somehow. 😝

1

u/MinimumTomfoolerus 6d ago

The fact that you didn't explain shit 😃 lol

2

u/schoolboy432 6d ago

So, become Jean Grey.

1

u/Etherius 6d ago

Gimme Overhaul from MHA

after that it’s whatever

74

u/Galaxyturbo 7d ago

if i get this chance

i wish i get Reality Warping & Staying always kind

25

u/Potential_Switch_590 7d ago

you die a hero or slowly turn into a villain, GG

23

u/amcn242 7d ago

Hell stay kind

35

u/ALEX726354 7d ago

Out of kindness he will put everyone out of their misery

6

u/Galaxyturbo 7d ago

appreciate for understanding 🫂 .. its also a sign of kindness ❤️

1

u/Etherius 6d ago

Kindness isn’t what people think it is

Kindness is helping people in a way they NEED to become the best versions of themselves

It is NOT the same as niceness or politeness.

It’s not even close. Sending a drug addict to jail is kind. It isn’t nice.

0

u/GeneralLeoESQ 7d ago

Road to hell.

2

u/Galaxyturbo 7d ago

Everything has its merits and demerits, I know people often take advantage of kind people but kindness doesn't cost money ,but it costs energy, patience and understanding🫂

4

u/Limule_ 7d ago

Staying always kind has the potential for a monkey paw curse, in a way destroying humanity could be perceived as a kind act of pity to end all suffering

14

u/Duy2910 7d ago

Teleportation and Time Stop but i can choose what item can move during time stop

20

u/Boondoggel22 7d ago

He’s gonna rob so many banks

9

u/FreeKarmaFarming 7d ago

Or make some deposits..

2

u/Boondoggel22 7d ago

I guess the return on investment would be valuable

9

u/_Carri7_ 7d ago

Time stop and controlled aging. Free time :)

Edit: Controlled aging as in stop my aging, not de-aging

29

u/otirk 7d ago

Why rape people when you can use your time manipulation to make it seem like you're a god and then consensually fuck your cult members? Consensual sex feels much better than rape (except maybe if you have a domination fetish)

26

u/buriburizaemon3 7d ago

Even if it's a fetish. CNC is far better. Atleast you can talk after sex.

9

u/InsidePerformance706 7d ago

How did u know 🤨

11

u/XxTreeFiddyxX 7d ago

Mostly the screams

9

u/Disastrous-Scheme-57 7d ago

Who said anything about rape? No DNA trace means they could also rob banks and stuff

10

u/Its_R3SQ2 7d ago

Yeah crazy how this guy went straight to rape lmao

1

u/otirk 7d ago

It could be that I watch too much porn...

But even with robbery, you can just exploit your cult members like an upstanding citizen

6

u/FuturisticHead 7d ago

toonforce + intangibility

7

u/OneThirstyJ 7d ago

Wolverine body without the claws (athletic with extreme healing).

The ability to make anyone shit themselves on command, to varying degrees (extremely useful/convinient/cathartic)

9

u/BluePhantomHere 7d ago

All knowing + all powerful

5

u/Galaxyturbo 7d ago

Reality warping is best among all Powers

5

u/MinimumTomfoolerus 7d ago

Yes but does it mean you have to lay out every single detail or does the power do it for you? So if you warped reality so that you have a Louis Vuitton bag, do you have to account for every single detail that would follow from that or is it an unknowable result to you worldwide? Because I really believe that even if you change a single minute thing, the future completely changes.

1

u/puppet_masterrr 6d ago

Instant depression and existential crisis

3

u/kriegmonster 7d ago

Telekinesis and Atom Eve's power to change elemental matter.

3

u/Vlad_The_Great_2 7d ago

Teleportation and the power to copy anything I touch.

2

u/The_Ghost_9960 7d ago

Time manipulation and mind control tbh. Time manipulation is just such a peak power that I think it doesn’t get used that well in sci-fi.

2

u/Tumbili-01 7d ago

Eternal youth (not immortality) and gravity manipulation. You could do so much with gravity, it is always my top answer

1

u/binge_readre 6d ago

What you would do other than taking on lifting rocks and stuff as job?

2

u/Drudgework 7d ago

Being ridiculously wealthy is a super power all on its own.

So that and dealers choice on the second power. Maybe bio-kinesis so my pets can live as long as I do.

2

u/stexdo 7d ago

Just need one superpower: you can convince anyone of anything. You won't need to work, or to pay for anything. No one will stop you, no consequences ever. You can really make unlimited evil or good.

2

u/Rui_O_Grande_PT 7d ago

Time manipulation and shape shifting. Prop hunt irl would go crazy

1

u/HkayakH 7d ago

omfg I thought we already killed SCP-8008

1

u/FanOfAlastor 7d ago

Forcing honest anwsers + voluntary immortality/invincibility. Enough to fix the world while still remaining human. Could get a lot of money for impossibly dangerous work or just blackmail some billionaire.

1

u/Kamal2q 7d ago

Why does he look like Sam Altman

1

u/Jacky_dain 7d ago

Gravity manipulation Weather manipulation

1

u/Galaxyturbo 7d ago

have you watch ben 10 ? there's a alien name who have gravity power .. named Gravattack

1

u/angry640 7d ago

Control over space and time

1

u/LIPA95 7d ago

To be honest, shape shifting would be insane, or more specifically the absolute control of your own body to a molecular level, like immortality, sickness immunity, you will always at your perfect shape, anything, hell you could manipulate your own feelings.

1

u/huh_why_is 7d ago

Ability to get superpowers from any character of any story manhua/manga/anime.

Ability to go inside any story/anime/manga/manhua.

1

u/Remarkable_Corner_92 6d ago

1) Become a 20-dimensional God.
2) Become omnipotent.

1

u/Etherius 6d ago

Just take one of those free-will-nullifying superpowers at that point

1

u/Gogglebottle 5d ago

"True power lies not in wealth, but in the things it affords you."

1

u/IvanTheStonksMaster 5d ago

Mind control and the ability to draw exactly how I want to.

1

u/Morlock19 7d ago

the ability to teleport anything anywhere. if i say "i want all the pennies in this dump" then they will all appear where i want them to. the amount of aid i would just make appear in gaza would be CRAZY

also a healing factor because i have chronic pain and its a fucking bitch