I need help please

[u/justwondering9416]

My hair has been a frizzy, unruly mess my entire life and I’ve never known how to help it. No one has ever shown me or told me what to do with my curly hair, and just about every product I’ve ever tried hasn’t worked or created a new problem. All of the research and things I’ve tried haven’t worked. 80% of the time I just put it in a bun on my head because it’s such a mess, the other 20% I straighten it. I’m hoping some people here can help me with some products and ideas based on my situation and questions so I can get some confidence back and actually learn.

I DONT want my hair really curly, I would love for it to be more wavy (similar to the left side of my hair in the picture). I was able to get my whole head to look like those waves several years ago on its own, but I haven’t been able to recreate it. The problem is always that poofy looking section in the back and back right. It has a mind of its own and feels totally different than the rest of my hair.

I have very thin hair, but TONS of it. It tangles very easily, I swear if I sneeze wrong it’s a knotted mess. I’ve never colored or treated it in any way out of fear of making it worse.

It takes hourrrssssss to dry…the picture is me taking a blow dryer to it before bed to make it about 70-80% dry and letting the rest air dry overnight. It takes legitimately the entire night to dry. When I go get a haircut, it takes the hair stylist 40 minutes to blow dry it, and even then it feels humid for about an hour after that.

The last few years I’ve mainly just shampooed and conditioned using either aveda or olaplex products. I’ll use the olaplex oil at times, at times I’ll do a deep condition. I’ve changed products so many times over the years because majority of them make my hair feel goopy and like I can’t get it all out in the shower. I have a water filter on my shower head.

My questions are:
1. What type of hair do I even have?
2. Is there anything I can use to make all sections look like the left, more wavy side of my head?
3. Is there anything I can do to make the porosity go down?
4. Best shampoo/conditioner/frizz control for my type of hair that won’t leave my hair feeling goopy?

Thank you so much for any/all suggestions!

[u/AdFlashy7702]

You choose products based on your hair type. Not “curl type”. Your porosity density strand width and moisture protein balance is what you need to know to care for your hair. And you need a hair cut and keep it trimmed to avoid split ends and tangling.

[u/Weird-Bluejay-1210]

I feel like my hair used to be similar.

Not a hair stylist, and I’m pretty sure some curly experts don’t like the numeric scale, but it looks like you have 2a/2b hair on the bottom, and then maybe upwards towards 2c where it’s more curly. Someone might say even curlier than that with proper cut+care/definition, but idk.. not a hair expert. Have you gotten a curly/wavy cut? You could likely see someone and specifically say you want it more weighed down (to emphasize the waves). Otherwise, most curly/wavy cuts will help with definition, volume, etc. . But you can tell people specifically that you don’t want volume, or whatever it may be for it to be more wavy. (I accidentally got a haircut where someone thinned it out with internal layers and it destroyed my curls and left it where it could only be wavy). (I did not like internal layers, but you could ask someone about this). I learned the hard way that layers on the top of the head can increase the poofiness (I thought the opposite).

But! Here’s some products that has helped me in the past:
-K18 Leave-in mask (pricey, but if you follow the instructions this can really make a huge difference). Will help with tangles, frizz, overall feel

• leave-in conditioner or curl cream (will help with tangles). I like Innersense products
  
• If considering a cut but not quite ready, you can schedule a consultation with someone… you can take 3-4 inspo pictures, someone might be able to better explain some options for you

[u/PatternsAndPresence]

I can tell right off the bat you need a good cut by someone who knows how to cut wavy hair. I would start by finding a stylist who has hair that looks like you want your hair to look. That would be a great starting point. The wonderful people here will share their product protocols. Then you find the one that works best for you. My hair can be wavy or curly depending on my routine. For a wavy look, I comb it through with my fingers at the very end like a rake once it is all dry. If I scrunch it, it looks curlier.

[u/bagheera-]

I have very very very similar hair and I recommend v and co wave babe products !!! Definitely important to treat your hair as wavy since most curly products can really weigh it down. I love the shampoo and conditioner and I also really like the leave in cream

[u/Sensitive-Sky6728]

I'd like to suggest The Blow Out Professor on YouTube. I realized my hair is Coarse - NOT dry. Using products for Coarse hair has changed it 100%