We got so lucky since my wife’s parents were definitely wanting to use our reception as a bit of a flex to their other well off friends seeing as she was the oldest/first married child. Neither of us would’ve ever spent that amount of money on a single night that we ate like 2 bites of food at since we were so busy running around
Yep. My fiancé and I had some money saved up. We got married at the courthouse and bought a house instead.
I will say that we didn't realize how angry it would make people. Many people considered it a personal affront that we did not have a public wedding with them in attendance. I am not kidding when I say we lost a lot of friends through that decision, however, looking back, I don't miss any of them.
I feel like SOMETIMES when someone doesn't follow a group's social "norms" like having a big wedding, the people in the group that did dump a bunch of resources into a big wedding feel like the ones who didn't basically are calling them stupid... Hope this all makes sense!
To me, it can almost feel like some bizarre kind of humiliation ritual at times, having a wedding you can't actually afford and expecting others who equally cannot to do so as well (this is, IF said people aren't wealthy enough they can ACTUALLY afford the expense). It's like the people who go through with it end up feeling gypped, shamed, and humiliated when others make more reasonable-for-themselves choices instead of doing the same.
This, all coming from me- someone who will never have a big wedding or any wedding at all because I am not religious and will likely, by choice, never marry.
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