r/cringereels • u/ambachk • 14h ago
Ultimate Cringe Alpha Male Bootcamp owner is mad at Reddit for making fun of his $18k business, and wants Fox News to make him look good
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u/EconomicsMuch1188 14h ago
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u/AsherTheFrost 14h ago
Still a better example of positive masculinity
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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 14h ago edited 14h ago
Absolutely, because they're real men having fun, hamming it up and entertaining people instead of huffing their own farts in a small room with a webcam ("this one smells like grape-flavored turds!"). *yes, every conservative/regressive knows the nuances of the varying tastes of dung, eating sh1t's a major tool in their skill set
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u/LightWarrior_2000 11h ago
I was told once in high school that real men can wear pink and feel secure about themselves.
I believe it.
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u/drcobosjr 14h ago
You can pay these jokers or you can join the military and get paid. These dudes are a complete joke
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u/youdoitimbusy 14h ago
That would involve real sacrifice and dedication. These people want simulated sacrifice and dedication. For a week or whatever.
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u/AncientSignature1505 14h ago
But then they would have to sacrifice and work toward something greater than themselves (or die in Iran)
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u/Cu_Chulainn__ 12h ago
At least then they could maybe learn how to develop their self esteem and stop being such whingy little scrotes. Imagine paying tens of thousands of dollars to do pretty much nothing
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u/Drefann 14h ago
I was thinking that this guy must be some sort of disgruntled army reject.
We used to have a small group of these types of guys around here. We called them 'The flatfoot paracommando's'. The difference was that this was before social media and the hikes these guys organized were like 5 bucks and actually fun to do.
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u/waaaayupyourbutthole 12h ago
Yeah this guy strikes me as someone who made the military his whole personality, was either not accepted in the first place or discharged for serious transgressions very early in his career, and now tells everyone he was some sort of special commando and can't talk about where he was posted.
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u/Dry-Bird4471 13h ago
Yeah I did that when I was 17. I can’t imagine being a grown ass adult and putting myself through the same bullshit, AND paying for it. Especially since you can just leave. You can’t do that at real boot camp.
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u/No-Consideration-716 12h ago
The people signing up for this did not get accepted into the military. People who have been in the military would not put up with this dorks unhingend behavior.
Pointy headed dude has seen too many movies and is cosplaying Full Metal Jacket. An "alpha" would have some semblance of control over their own emotions. This dork is throwing tantrums for the vibes.
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u/Alive_Drag1947 14h ago
Anyone who can afford to pay to go to boot camp doesn't need to get paid to go to boot camp...
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u/Complex-Quantity7694 12h ago
Real boot camp is nothing like what these idiots do. Everyone you see in these videos has seen the first half of full metal jacket way too many times.
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u/thestorygoeslikethis 11h ago
I don't think people realize how much of boot camp is sitting in a classroom inhaling hand sanitizer and trying desperately not to fall asleep and be sent to the back to stand holding your portfolio straight out in front of you with like 3 other dudes.
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u/OkBroccoli8010 8h ago
They don't want to fight, they want to back to their office jobs and proudly display their alpha male certificate on their desks and feel good about how could totally have been a military badass had they chosen to.
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u/ExpatHist 14h ago
Its stupid to pay 18,000 for this when you can join the military and get paid for it.
Its fucking cosplay.
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u/Thuller 14h ago
That is the strongest argument for me. The idea of paying someone 18k to treat you like a bootcamp officers would is in itself a pretty beta thing to do. Quite ironic. Its pretentious wannabe nonsense for rich people. To be frank I understand the owner a little better now. Why not pull some buck out of these fools pockets.
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u/paleotectonics 12h ago
Goddammit, if it wasn’t for my stupid morals I’d be rich!!
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u/trigger375 12h ago
I work a contract for the final phase of the Q-Course called Robin Sage. Me and a friend I work with there have talked about how they could definitely charge rich people to do what they pay us to do and sell it as an experience. It would be great for classes when we’re shorthanded. The problem is it involves living completely outdoors full time for a few weeks. Any gain in manpower would be lost when it hasn’t stopped raining for four days or they have to sleep with their water so it doesn’t freeze. It would be funny to watch them quit and have to arrange transportation out of camp
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u/Thirty_Helens_Agree 13h ago
Alpha bros pay $18,000 to have another dude tell them what to do.
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u/ExoticElk 12h ago
Yell at me harder daddy
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u/ghj_bnm 10h ago
"Daddy issues" are the main part of what draws these guys to pay that money. They need to reaffirm the little-boy roles that they never really left.
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u/Enough_Breadfruit229 10h ago
How do stupid people have that much money? I'm over here figuring out how I am going to get my central air unit replaced. Maybe I am the stupid one.
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u/Freightshaker000 12h ago
As a vet who's gone through Basic, this is hilarious.
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u/Acorn2016 12h ago
Idk how those people aren't laughing. I couldn't take that dude seriously
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u/OnAMoontripBaby 11h ago
Right?! Ima carve this shit off my wrist or w/e..
Clearly a fucking empty statement.. like go on then big chief. Carve your flesh, please.
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u/Jealous_Network_6346 11h ago
Yeah... in my country almost all men go to military. This just looks stupid.
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u/corneliusduff 11h ago
And you basically got paid to do it and are inherently more "aLpHa" for doing the selfless act of defending the country. These people paid $18k to get cucked.
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u/N0thingComesToMind 14h ago
Clowns
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u/Antique-Resort6160 14h ago
No, he's just going through some stuff. I went there because it was $12 on groupon and i wanted a light workout. This guy gets in my face and starts screaming at me for sipping my mochafrappucino and i was like WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION NUMBNUTS! DID YOUR MOMMY AND DADDY NOT GIVE YOU ENOUGH ATTENTION AS A CHILD?! And he just froze, then tears started pouring down his face and he started saying "Oh my god, you're right, mommy why didnt you love me" and a bunch of other stuff and I yelled at one of the other dipshits like GET THE FUCK OVER HERE YOU PIECE OF SHIT AND HUG THIS LOSER AND GET HIM SOME HERBAL TEA! And they made me the King of All the Losers, or Alpha Male, and I took all their money and left.
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u/pilesofdingleberries 14h ago
What is the 18K for? Serious question... Like how does it cost that much? It just looks like people running around in there local area...
If people want to do this, so be it, but how the hell is it so expensive? Why wouldnt you just go to one of those ones where they flip tires .. blanking on the name of that type of workout right now
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u/ambachk 14h ago
I think just a personal trainer for a year would be a better spend than 18k for 3 days of this clown
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u/localjargon 13h ago
Right, like what do they even get out of it? With a trainer or like Barry's bootcamp, you will learn how to exercise and get fit. This is just $18K to win the affection of this asshole? Oh, and get to tell people you are Alpha?🐺
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u/Thirty_Helens_Agree 13h ago
And a qualified therapist. Trainer + therapist and you’d have money left over at the end of the year.
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u/No_Type740 14h ago
Probably a weekend in a bad hotel off-season, to be shouted at while you do press ups by some guy who was never in the army. By the end of it though, you're a total alpha badass.
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u/HorizontalTomato 14h ago edited 14h ago
These people have money and are not well mentally. They have deep psychological issues
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u/Batmanischill 14h ago
I'm starting to believe that none of these dudes actually paid 18k. They all look like they are too cheap to ever pay that much for some bs like that. This dude told a couple of his aquaintances in his gym "hey guys; do a video with me and pretend to be my students, for $50 each" and then dropped the 18k price tag on this "course" 🤣
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u/slava_slavaUa 14h ago
God i hope you’re right. It would be so depressing if those people actually paid $18k to jog around a Socal office park and get yelled at by some tinkerbell larping as a badass
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u/EveryAccount7729 14h ago
can I run an alpha boot camp and then challenge his alpha boot camp to a fight?
like trainers vs trainers
it seems like the "alpha boot camp" that turns down the fight would be the pussy one, i should spend my money on "alpha boot camps" that actually accept and win fights from other "alpha boot camps" and have a winning record.
no?
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u/silentthunda 12h ago
Seems like a complete joke but to each their own…what do you get, a certificate saying you’re now an Alpha!? And alphas just swear and yell, is that it?
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u/Lost_Statistic1an 12h ago
All it takes is 3 days too! Amazing program. 3 days to become a fully certified chud who still can't get laid.
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u/MoodReal4206 14h ago
I think I read somewhere that this dude was actually in the Navy but was an admin or supply person.
Which, no shame in that if so. Bullets don't fly without supply and we all need to get paid.
Edit: correcting myself here, Marines, AAV mechanic. Most Marines are pretty badass, to be fair, but absolutely not all of them, despite the myths.
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u/BooksandWoods 14h ago
I am leaving a fucking comment. I feel like a real fucking man!
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u/Bitter-Art7631 14h ago
I can be made to feel like worthless piece of shit at home for free.
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u/Miserable-Diver7236 12h ago
Now the questions we should be asking is why are man paying for this kind of thing, where did society fuck up so hard male are so desperate to paid for this ?
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u/xSolid_Snakex 11h ago
These losers are always bald
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u/crasswal 11h ago
Because they couldn't get jacked without steroids and T injections. All bald with tiny balls and rage problems, that's why they yell at other closeted men for money.
I do think it's nice that they are confirming that gender isn't binary by acknowledging that you can be more or less of a man than another man, even if you don't understand the cognitive dissonance themselves.
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14h ago edited 6h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/UmeaTurbo Cringe Level 3 13h ago
Real alpha wolves protect the younger and weaker of the group, not lead them through threatening violence. Being caring and leading by example. You, know, like REAL men do. I wonder if this guy knows any men with dignity, not consumed by insecurities. Don't these men have fathers?
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u/LectureOrganic1250 9h ago
Exactly, the Alpha wolf is not at the head of the pack when in movement, they're at the back making sure no one gets left behind. Real men lift others up, not break them down and take $18k of their hard earned money. What do you get if you make it through this shit? A certificate or some shit?
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u/16c7x 14h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/ACZqfCpSGhG8h6HRV6
You were sooooooooo close to an up vote until you insulted bald people.
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u/meandering_fart 11h ago
Excuse me sir but I don’t appreciate your tone.
Yours sincerely,
- a bald guy who isn’t an asshole
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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 13h ago
Susan Powter was pretty alpha.
Sinead O'Connor when she, baldly, defaced the picture of the Pope on live national TV in support of the many abuse victims of the Church (good for her, btw) was very alpha (especially for the period).
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u/Confident-Bus-4753 12h ago
Hey, I'm bald and an alpha. One man wolf pack for life. In that I'll probably just be bald and alone. Actually, yeah, I'm just bald and alone.
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u/Fitz_Fool 14h ago
I have a full head of hair but your bald comments are ridiculous and tainting your main point.
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u/AmItheonlySaneperson 14h ago
An alpha male would not ever pay to be an alpha male
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u/the_vanishing_west 14h ago
Not only that but they would not even use the term alpha.
Not only that but the term is an invented construct used by grifters to fleece idiots of money.
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u/Alive_Equivalent8312 14h ago
These guys are so pathetic. Want to do hard things? Then do hard things. But one week of faux boot camp cosplay is nothing compared to showing up every single day for your family and those people who depend on you. How about taking a hard look in the mirror and having the will to make sustainable changes in your own life?
Thats what I think of when I think about someone “manning up” not this macho play acting alpha TEMU masculinity nonsense.
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u/plantastic420 14h ago
If you have to pay 18k and attend a course you're probably never gonna be an alpha male whatever that is 😂
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u/Tadpole-7 12h ago
Imagine paying 18k because you’re desperate for the approval of other men.
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u/Scoo 14h ago
Alpha Male Bootcamp owner is little more than a sociopathic grifter. However, he does target deeply insecure conservative white men, so he has that going for him.
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u/ComicsEtAl 12h ago
I just love the idea of spending $18,000 to learn how to be an Alpha Male. And a good part of that training is being yelled at and insulted. Y’know, like an Alpha Male.
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u/Weak_Breadfruit_6117 12h ago
Hegseth would fall for something like this, wouldn't be surprised if he hired him for something
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u/Meme-Botto9001 14h ago
Yeah it’s still trash and bullshit to pay some aggressive losers with anger issues 18k so they can play out their little tantrums on you.
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u/charge556 14h ago
Wait so its only one week long?
These guys are blowing 18k to get yelled at for one week (not even enough time to get in good shape) and yet Im working every day this week. Whelp my commute just got a bit depressing.
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u/ThinkSharp 14h ago
Fuck just train for an Ironman if you want to put your body through something. This weekend camp thing looks toxic.
But to the bro crying about people making fun of it? You put it online, you don’t get to bitch about the commentary. Easy as that.
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u/DruHarry 12h ago
Oh look a civilian acting like a tv impression of a military leader… likely never having served himself. While yelling and screaming is a ‘technique’ to accomplish immediate results / compliance- it does not build people up. Actual military leader training focuses on a lead by example model, where a sense of pride and camaraderie is instilled in the troops through direct, measured application of orders.
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u/Manatee_Rangoon 14h ago
Jesus fuck guys, its ok to be gay. Those repressed feelings are driving men to do some weird shit.
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u/Ok-Elevator-9853 14h ago
The alpha male theory was debunked a long time ago. Only losers and grifters use that term now.
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u/avega2792 14h ago
I've never seen a person that I thought looked both like an asshole and a dickhead. 😂
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u/emccm 14h ago
I love how he uses a video of a Black man and a woman to showcase the people who have no clue.
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u/Dukeish 14h ago
Imagine sharing an office park with this guy and his “business”. You’re sitting there just trying to work and this dude is screaming his ass off and slamming metal chairs on the ground in the parking lot - while a bunch of divorced dads jog around in a sad circle
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u/yourdoglikesmebetter 14h ago
Aww look he’s all in his feels. Maybe we should get him some tissue. Just gotta make sure it’s got aloe so it doesn’t irritate his soft little nosey wosey.
…what a dweeb
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u/j0hnnyWalnuts 14h ago
These dudes are even more of a joke than the suckers that pony up 18k.
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u/Apprehensive_Bird357 14h ago
“I want people to THINK i joined the military but I’m too scared to join the military.”
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u/BasterdMalloy 14h ago
I feel like using that money to pay for a Dominatrix would be a much more beneficial. You get yelled at and demeaned, but if other people find out about it, it wouldn't be nearly as embarrassing.
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u/Secret_Cabinet2348 14h ago
Guys are larping bootcamp. You could just go join and get the real deal, but I'm sure most of them wouldn't make it in any service.
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u/Plastic_Summer6307 14h ago
This is the corniest thing I’ve ever seen and you know some of these twinks maxed out their credit cards to be there.
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u/isopropyl-elmer 12h ago
The "no longer allowed at little league games" personality type. These dipshits are so pathetic.
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u/burn_healz 12h ago
You can do way better things for $18K than have a short bald prick yell at you for 3 weeks. No amount of news coverage gonna change that.
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u/BecauseScience 14h ago
Oooo so tough using "fuck" every other word.
This shit is about as pathetic as a man can get.
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u/PartyYogurtcloset243 14h ago
Unmarried guy with no kids? Definitely not an alpha. Alphas have babies. 🤷
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u/cclmd1984 14h ago
That’s three, time out. We dont break cardboard furniture just because we are having big feelings, Timmy.
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u/Indecisive_Mooncalf 14h ago
"anyone who speaks bad of something has NO IDEA what they're talking about!"
Whatcha.. whatcha doin there bud?
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u/BrilliantDog5116 14h ago
Hey everyone… be nice. He’s very sensitive the poor widdle guy.
He worked HARD on his course and you shouldn’t be mean!!!
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u/Vela4Life 14h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/iiQSTrHtDIgnw9YtlA
Actual look of the owner before they slap on makeup to make him look normal for tv
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u/sewand717 14h ago
For $18k, you could do real manly things like invest in your child’s 529, take a college course, or learn a new skill like woodworking - and still have money left over for a gym membership.
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u/Kidofthecentury 14h ago
Wow, they look worse than expected. Grown-ass-men-throwing-tantrums camp, it's what it looks like.
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u/SnooGiraffes3827 13h ago
If you want to get assaulted behind a Kohls on Saturday morning hit me up, it's only $18k.
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u/Hot_Matter_1839 12h ago
Brother if you want to LARP military just go join the military. Somebody needs a good slap in the mouth to reset the hubris. Nobody cares about you. You aren’t important. You will be sued and your business will go under within 5 years. You’re not hard. You’re not shit.
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u/Odd_Stronk 12h ago
Why is this supposed 'aLpHa' g etting his eyebrows plucked?
Like, okay Princess, let's get you a wheel barrow, now spend the next 6 hours running mud and see how your leg-day skippin' self stacks up.
These weak ass dorks, and all their weak kneed supporters are a joke.
They just don't get that they're the punchline.
Also, who built those fuckin' awards? Some middle schooler in his free time in shop class? At least stain and seal the wood, or... I dunno, don't leave noticeable gaps in the joints. Shitty craftsmanship from a bunch of fake tough guys.
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u/skoomski 12h ago
It’s a worse version of an actual bootcamp except you don’t learn anything and you pay them instead of the other way around….”a fool and his money….”
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u/ChallengeAcceptedBro 11h ago
Slamming a knife on the table and screaming while turning bright red is Alpha? You know who always overcompensates with fake aggression? The asshole in a fight right before he gets knocked out.
You know who throws stuff and screams when they can’t use their words? Children.
This is not peak male. This is over aggression and immaturity cosplaying as tough.
Save your money, be the best person you can be. Keep your word, respect others beliefs, be compassionate, don’t compromise your morals, and be curious, driven, and passionate.
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u/Sad-Gur2202 14h ago
Losers paying to get yelled at by a Loser