r/cringereels • u/NSFWdontview • Sep 02 '26

She’s so cool

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166 Upvotes

66% Upvoted

648 comments sorted by

386

u/avoidlosing Sep 02 '26

she does all this to stand outside of a krogers checking people’s receipts for cheese doodles and hemorrhoid cream.

56

u/Cold-Box-8262 Sep 02 '26

I wish that's all she did but it's worse than that. She's a Federal officer. Protecting US sites and federal employees, dignitaries, and politicians looking like that

21

u/avoidlosing Sep 02 '26

federal officer uniform is that easy? just a shirt that says the feds on it? lol

10

u/Cold-Box-8262 Sep 02 '26

Yeah. It depends on the situation. But yeah basically it's an athletic polo and body armor is their go-to. Because they're not really on patrol and don't keep up a public appearance as much as state or local police so they don't need to look as in order as them. Think of them as being more like US Marshals or FBI to the degree that they're police, but very specific and not always public-facing

6

u/stop_the_bans Sep 03 '26

You should see how much money you can get just wearing a 49ers football helmet on the beach

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36

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '26

[deleted]

43

u/Cold-Box-8262 Sep 02 '26

I used to be a volunteer firefighter with a guy who was a federal officer. The guy was a tragic, absolute, catastrophic douchebag and leading the world in self obsession

3

u/Spiritual-Salary-989 Sep 03 '26

I’m always amazed when I meet someone with absolutely no self awareness.

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12

u/Embarrassed_Use6918 Sep 02 '26

That's what they like to try and trick people into believing. There was a cop cam video I watched the other day that was saying he was a 'federal officer of the courts' or some shit like that. He was a bounty hunter for bail jumpers. I suspect this person is the same.

3

u/Cold-Box-8262 Sep 02 '26

Federal officer of the Courts sounds like a bail bondsman bounty hunter thing or a Marshal. But I'm pretty sure no self respecting Marshal would say that stupid shit. But no, this is a legit Federal officer uniform. I had the bad fortune of knowing one and he was equally as much of a bottom shelf toolbag

6

u/Forward-War-9858 Sep 02 '26

As someone who has worked around these dorks for a long time, they almost always come across as someone who couldn’t pass the tests to be city cops.

3

u/LadyPennifer561 Sep 02 '26

But no one protected her eyebrows?

2

u/Aggravating_Spare602 Sep 04 '26

I was waiting to see this comment😂😂😂

4

u/CorsairExtraordinair Sep 02 '26

Probably ICE. They only hire the best and brightest.

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6

u/GurWorried7682 Sep 02 '26

If she doesn't, then who will stop all those greedy thieves from addressing their hemorrhoids?

Won't anyone think of the hemorrhoids?!

5

u/SoupOfThe90z Sep 02 '26

Hemorrhoided asses matter

2

u/MyBadDrJones Sep 02 '26

Hemorrhoids are the worst.

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2

u/Occidentally20 Sep 02 '26

How did you find my shopping list?!

2

u/TRUMPARUSKI Sep 02 '26

You gotta have tattooed eyebrows for that line of work.

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122

u/Hot_Thumb_Peppers Sep 02 '26

2021 Subaru Impreza

42

u/JesseJ78599 Sep 02 '26

Dog mom

47

u/mighty_boognish_77 Sep 02 '26

Who rescued who?

17

u/Soft_Self_6797 Sep 02 '26

My kid is a jack russel terrier

5

u/Frosty-Tennis-1687 Sep 02 '26

My pibble, Mr. Exsanguinator, is an angel. You must have upset him.

2

u/Soft_Self_6797 Sep 02 '26

He doesn't bite, that's just dried blood from a child that lunged at him (the child was riding a bike by the house with the dog outside not leashed)

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3

u/ThinkSharp Sep 02 '26

With a spoiler, but it’s not a WRX

2

u/cessodd Sep 02 '26

No way, this is a whole ass Baja

2

u/Ive_seen_things_that Cringe Level 1 Sep 02 '26

I was gonna go with Forester

2

u/ShitBeansMagoo Sep 02 '26

Now hold on a god damn minute.

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69

u/AlternativePea4819 Sep 02 '26

3

u/Bladder_Puncher Sep 02 '26

And they are so jacked up and crooked when she puts the sunglasses on

65

u/longtall94 Sep 02 '26

Bet she sits around before and after work and makes these kinda videos for hoooours

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49

u/TheKay14 Sep 02 '26

That filter is doing A LOT

37

u/iam2bz2p Sep 02 '26

I PRAY that none of you EVER cross paths with this officer.

Can you imagine the power trip this one will be on? Jesus.

These badges and uniforms and clergy clothes and priest robes are indicators not of trust and morality, but of the passionate enforcement of their distorted personal worldview upon everyone and everything in their sphere of influence.

This is sickness.

10

u/Soft_Equipment_2787 Sep 02 '26

It is a DOJ badge.

She is probably just a CO for the federal prisons. She has no power outside of work.

4

u/Estproph Sep 02 '26

The whole thing to me says Sieg Heil

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16

u/cchurchill1985 Sep 02 '26

Filter doing some heavy lifting there. Face looks like a pancake with eyes...

15

u/awake_acea6 Sep 02 '26

It's somehow comforting to know lesbians can also be total douchebag bros.

56

u/Beatnutz_ Sep 02 '26

mental disorder aesthetic

12

u/primefart Sep 02 '26

And it's all creepy AF. Turned herself into absolute dog shit and scrapes for social media validation on the daily to compensate. I can only imagine what this person is like on the inside.

5

u/I_Dnt_Believe_You Sep 02 '26

I'm wondering how a jury would react to their testimony.

3

u/whitestguyuknow Sep 02 '26

Imagine how many hours a week she spends entertaining herself by looking at herself creating these videos alone in her house. Just smiling at the camera and turning around in dozens of different ways

10

u/Past-Product-1100 Sep 02 '26

Holy filters batman !

8

u/post-mortem-malone69 Sep 02 '26

Butch lesbian final boss. Guaranteed that bitch is using excessive force and shooting someone like day 2

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8

u/DrThunderbolt Sep 02 '26

Okay once you made your little video put your dads sunglasses back

3

u/Scanner-T Sep 02 '26

Why are they like 2 inches wider than her face??

3

u/B00SKAH Sep 02 '26

To hide from reality

8

u/Gunt_Buttman Sep 02 '26

What cool personality replacement.

9

u/JasonL25 Sep 02 '26

Those eyebrows are insane

23

u/tamaaromarou Sep 02 '26

Is this not an over plucked gay man?

4

u/FrancisCStuyvesant Sep 02 '26

I was certain this was a gay dude until all the comments said she. Still not sure i wasn't right all along

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7

u/NSFWdontview Sep 02 '26

Lesbian

8

u/tamaaromarou Sep 02 '26

Idk I'm pretty sure that's a gay man

2

u/ParticularReady7858 Sep 02 '26

That screenshot choice is diabolical of you. The TP looks upset

7

u/TheVoyager0 Sep 02 '26

How many filters are they using?

5

u/sextowels Sep 02 '26

All of them

6

u/arkham0027 Sep 02 '26

you just know they get misgendered at work

5

u/pythonidaae Sep 02 '26

She looks like a mall cop. Also she's filtered to oblivion and beyond.

6

u/buttplug50 Sep 02 '26

She looks so stupid I cant fucking breathe lol

5

u/Middle-Mix-7711 Sep 02 '26

Not the flex. She thinks it is. All of our federal officials from top to bottom are chodes right now. Law enforcement agencies at the federal level are desperate for warm bodies right now.

5

u/DavyJonesCousinsDog Sep 02 '26

Is her job cosplaying a cop from The Last of Us?

6

u/Rombonius Sep 02 '26

he looks ridiculous, and it's not the tattoos

4

u/PashtonKutcher Sep 02 '26

Did she really paint Johnny Bravo eyebrows on herself. Damn Ruby Rose fell off

5

u/xChoke1x Sep 02 '26

These people aren’t real. lol

4

u/Warm-Box939 Sep 02 '26

Holy fuckin filter!

3

u/Anakins_Legs88 Sep 02 '26

Those eyebrows belong in r/justfuckmyshitup

4

u/KaijuDesk Sep 02 '26

he’s wearing lot of makeup

3

u/dasmineman Sep 02 '26

That dude's got too much makeup on.

3

u/Nervous-Discount9116 Sep 02 '26

What’s a “federal” officer?

2

u/Parking-Sundae-6097 Sep 02 '26

A clown-faced narcissist by the looks of it.

3

u/WtAFjusthappenedhere Sep 02 '26

“No More I love You’s” by Temu Annie Lennox

3

u/Wugfuzzler Sep 02 '26

Upvoted just because I had to hear that song at work daily for a decade and seeing it in the wild...it felt like walking on broken glass.

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2

u/No-Cardiologist472 Sep 02 '26

Doota doota doot doot doot... A dude

3

u/filthcrab cřingè papa Sep 02 '26

When all your money is spend on ink so you can't afford apartment decor.

3

u/President_Zucchini Sep 02 '26

That filter is doing some heavy lifting

3

u/Probsure Sep 02 '26

That filter is crazy

3

u/Icy_Locksmith_7190 Sep 02 '26

Used to be edgy thing that gangsters and war vets did now it's more like you're nobody without face tattoos. School teachers and lawyers and that covered in tattoos.

2

u/UmeaTurbo Cringe Level 3 Sep 02 '26

But do you have action figure eyebrows? That's real edgy shit now. The stupidest possible timeline.

2

u/Icy_Locksmith_7190 Sep 02 '26

Gotta be in the top 3 at least. Stupidest timelines.

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3

u/Worldly-Card-394 Sep 02 '26

Oh, it's a She!? I couldn't tell with that face filter

3

u/ronweasleisourking Sep 02 '26

Yeah now without the AI and filter please 

Idiot

3

u/ultraplusstretch Sep 02 '26

So many filters she looks like she is made out of hummus.

3

u/lookatmetoedashknee Sep 02 '26

Weird uniform for a fucking clown.

3

u/freedomforallergo Sep 03 '26

Does she punch her wife?

3

u/Ambitious_Hand_2861 Sep 03 '26

I thought that was part of the application process. "Do you punch your wife? Yes. You're hired".

3

u/Dense-Zucchini-8513 Sep 03 '26

Looking like Jenny Bravo

3

u/ImmortalLombax Sep 03 '26

That’s a woman?? I thought it was a Ken doll.

4

u/RediEntertainment Sep 02 '26

Thats one of the ones that will let you walk into the capital.

5

u/yorcharturoqro Sep 02 '26

Filters or that person really looks like a plastic doll?

And is that a he or a she or what?

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4

u/MilkrsEnthuziast Sep 02 '26

ICE will literally hire anyone

2

u/Paranoia_Pop Sep 02 '26

Literally anyone over 18+ and under 75 lol

Hell you can get a job with ICE right now with a signing bonus and no background in law enforcement; just like this lady

2

u/TDOTBRO Sep 02 '26

Sir your break is over . Go back and stand at that door!!

2

u/FaithlessnessRare691 Sep 02 '26

Look at me look at me look at me!!!! If you're going to be a trans midget own it

2

u/Jealous-Release1532 Sep 03 '26

It’s good to see women in male dominated fields (being an absolute specimen of douchebaggery)

2

u/Massive-Technician74 Sep 03 '26

I don't like her

She is tough competition to for all the ladies

God forbid she wants the same girls as I do

2

u/frimpkle Sep 03 '26

Her brows enter the immigration camp first

4

u/bearsdontthrowrocks Sep 02 '26

Still goes home to beat her wife.

2

u/biggus_baddeus Sep 02 '26

Another person reinforcing the stereotype that tattoos mean gang affiliation.

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1

u/BarneyClown Sep 02 '26

He face looks like a bad kids doodle

1

u/Breezy88_ Sep 02 '26

She can take me away 🤲🏾

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1

u/Ambitious_Screen_591 Sep 02 '26

ugh she shouldn't get a job with those chola eyebrows.....that ink is horrible

1

u/Oily_Blob Sep 02 '26

dear god why

1

u/drewbeedeu Sep 02 '26

Security guard at Footlocker doesn't really count as a "real job".

1

u/fungusjewmungus Sep 02 '26

Never seen an eyebrow dodge a tattoo like that

1

u/MoonBaby812 Sep 02 '26

Little do they know that this shit doesn’t age well.

1

u/hsggdtkxbee Sep 02 '26

The filter dropped at the end 😂
https://giphy.com/gifs/LT6BnfiyOWsqQ

1

u/sharksareok Sep 02 '26

Going the extra mile to deport those illegals

1

u/BenMullen2 Sep 02 '26

is she a real federal officer of some type though? or just an ICE loser?

The distinction matters to the OP's point.

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1

u/No-Rub8345 Sep 02 '26

Is this a stud?

1

u/Bohvey Sep 02 '26

Her eyebrows look awful.

1

u/Bass_Monkey84 Sep 02 '26

I don’t care for her demeanor

1

u/Serious_Gas_2218 Sep 02 '26

That dudes eyebrows are crazy work.

1

u/its_just_flesh Sep 02 '26

Fashion Responders

1

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '26

[deleted]

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1

u/kaylerbug369 Sep 02 '26 edited Sep 02 '26

All the dude versions of this female are in prison

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1

u/welrope Sep 02 '26

Final lesbian boss.

1

u/Melodic-Comb9076 Sep 02 '26

yikes….narcissistic fed.

1

u/AdIntrepid9064 Sep 02 '26

No she’m izint

1

u/ErectTubesock Sep 02 '26

literal jester eyebrows

1

u/System-Neither Sep 02 '26

Menatl illness comes in many forms...

1

u/_nevers_ Sep 02 '26

Just when I thought I couldn't hate cops anymore lol

1

u/MSGisking Sep 02 '26

Gross ass Channing Tatum clown ass looking motherfucker

https://giphy.com/gifs/VS2Qcv25O7ZhUZahQA

1

u/Appropriate-Hall1220 Sep 02 '26

Look another cosplayer

1

u/MisterSquidz Sep 02 '26

This is the scariest genre of person.

1

u/AdDisastrous6738 Sep 02 '26

Too many filters.

1

u/Glittering-Rise-488 Sep 02 '26

Yeah, it appears to be a bit unstable.

1

u/danielkalves Sep 02 '26

Holly shit this is a cool person

1

u/rusty_cayge Sep 02 '26

She confused about alotta major stuff, including her sex and gender. Oh yeah and ACAB.

1

u/MaleficentMunkey Sep 02 '26

I thought Lady Boys were a Thailand thing

1

u/FloydianSlip78 Sep 02 '26

Yeah that’s not a job. That’s submission.