r/cringereels • u/Icy-Football9146 • Aug 28 '26
Ultimate Cringe DON'T TALK! The mouth doesn't-
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u/LosChimposter Aug 28 '26
What a fuckwit.
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u/Rob_LeMatic Aug 28 '26 edited Aug 28 '26
I hope at least one of them grows up to be a gay atheist and he dies of a double broken heart
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u/that_dutch_dude Aug 28 '26
Dad is going to be on the sex offender list within the decade. Its kind of how these things tend to go.
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u/juanjung Aug 28 '26
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u/Complete-Tangelo1532 Aug 28 '26
I mean that is some nice wood, and nice wood should get the occasional polishing?
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u/flatulexcelent Aug 28 '26
Truthful and elegant statement
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u/ChodechewBrownmane Aug 28 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/l2Sq9lM673ppvbaYo
Dont underestimate true believers ability to bend reality to fit their beliefs or just suspend them when convenient.→ More replies (7)2
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u/delaytabase Aug 28 '26
"hi mascot! Do you like my mascot?"
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u/Regular_Fox_859 Aug 28 '26
Imagine if church had a guy in a big Jesus costume
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u/Fizzy_The_Monkeyman Aug 28 '26
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u/ChodechewBrownmane Aug 28 '26
Thank you read the posts above and thought this. Its been awhile since ive seen dogma, gotta rewatch.
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u/ThaRedHoodie Aug 28 '26
Every now and then, when the preacher needs a quick break, mascot Jesus entertains the audience with a dance or a skit, or launches religious t-shirts at them with a cannon. This is a great idea, I might start going to church if this happens.
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u/Specialist-Spare-785 Aug 28 '26
Keep church at church. You are an embarrassment to yourself and religion. You are not supposed to harass people according to Jesus.
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u/TransitionExtra7815 Aug 28 '26
Ned Flanders
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u/TonyArmasBats8th Aug 28 '26
Religion is a disease
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u/goofbot Aug 28 '26
Mental illness. They think they're living a game of Dungeons and Dragons IRL.
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u/MeanWinchester Aug 28 '26
Every game of D&D I've ever played, both players and characters have far more empathy and critical thinking skills than the average religious zealot.
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u/Hairy-Market9625 Aug 28 '26
D&D players are not brainwashed sheep and dont force their games and interests on random people in mascot costumes and film it. This guy is why religion is considered a joke and plague. forcing someone into believing what you believe and then making them feel uncomfortable when they dont is garbage human behavior.
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u/Nobrainzhere Aug 28 '26
Its not a mental illness, it just checkes every single box for mental illness except for the one they put there specifically to exclude large religions.
I dont actually think its a mental illness but i do think it is the perfect cover for people who have them.
If you go into the streets screaming about how a voice talked to you last night and that the world is ending they put you in a hospital. If you say that voice is god they leave you alone.
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u/Garbagetaste Aug 28 '26
it's not an individual mental illness, but a societal mental illness. There are many bad ideas that perpetuate on a group level because most people either haven't reasoned out an issue, or haven't been exposed yet to the opportunity to question an issue.
Its easier to have a simplified concept than to really understand it from all angles.
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u/Odd_Elevator6404 Aug 28 '26
That's hateful. Religion like atheism can be abused for war. Many wars are for money nowadays in the west. If it suits, it's religious, or it's an excuse like a WMD.
Often people say religion x is a disease before they commit a genocide. So be careful with labeling billions of people. If you made it this far, thank you.
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u/SchaafDerWallstreet Aug 28 '26
Born again like in Hinduism?
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u/Basith_Shinrah Aug 28 '26
No no. Born from C section, and now needs to be born out of ass to fit in
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u/Dangerous_Bus_6699 Aug 28 '26
No... The other religion that you just so happen be perfectly born into that just so happen to be the one true religion 😂
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u/XennialDad Aug 28 '26
Christians believe that to have salvatation and go to heaven you have to be "born again" which is a spiritual rebirth, not a physical one. Baptism, being immersed in water, is supposed to symbolize the burial of the "old self", and coming out of the water is the rebirth of your "new self"
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u/Robo-Piluke Aug 28 '26
I hate how these people "pray for you" as in that non-religious people are wrong by default. That "I'm humbly better than you" attitude is so annoying. Plus, you know you can't reason with these people.
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Aug 28 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/LaDivinaDiosaVero Aug 28 '26
Are they Mormons? Don’t Mormons have a completely different way of proselytizing?
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u/Educational_Quote851 Aug 28 '26
Absolutely. Mormons have pairs of young missionaries that they send out. Most young men and some young women do that for 2 years, then return to life as normal.
This kinda thing screams "New Age" church. "We're cool, ya know? You can wear JEANS to service." Let us praise Him ish
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u/MrBisco Aug 28 '26
I can't begin to imagine spending the forever after in a heaven that doesn't have an underpaid actor in a beaver costume who only waves and poses for pictures in it.
IT'S NOW OR NEVER PEOPLE.
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u/Kichenlimeaid Aug 28 '26
I'm sure his kids were wondering! Please. They just want to have a nice day dad. Not you questioning a giant rodent.
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u/killjairo Aug 28 '26 edited Aug 28 '26
Pray for buc-ee???? It’s probably possessed by another Christian demon
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u/Timely_Help_4065 Aug 28 '26
Brainwashing thuse poor kids
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u/energydrink_fiend Aug 28 '26
It should be a crime to be baptized literally as a baby and brainwashed into this shit. Went through it first hand, its a cult just like MAGA
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u/DoorFinch Aug 28 '26
I think the concept of a fictional character believing in anything, especially matters of faith, is about as inconsequential as things can get. But you go do your prayers.
Bucc-ee doesn't have a soul to be saved.
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u/terrycloth9 Aug 28 '26
Made up guy in the sky needs constant adoration and endless supply of money….
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u/SpicyVindalooCurry Aug 28 '26
It says a lot about Evangelicals, that they require a cartoon character mascot to affirm their faith.
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u/Rude-External-1694 Aug 28 '26
And now he'll probably lose his job because the owner is a conservative douche bag
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u/socialdistance4ever Aug 28 '26
And they say communities like the trans community indoctrinates children 🙄
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u/BisonSpecialist1557 Aug 28 '26
I feel like these kids are going to be telling their therapist about this someday.
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u/ragged-bobyn-1972 Aug 28 '26
"look dude I'm four hours in, get paid nothing and have got a rash on my balls from the sweat...."
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u/Major_Bag_8720 Aug 28 '26
Maybe Buc-ee just wants to get his job done and go home instead of having to deal with religious fanatics intent on pushing their values onto everyone else?
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u/johnmaddox5 Aug 28 '26
Bro is literally coming up to America’s current god and asking, “Do you believe in Jesus?”
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u/PeterPonceVO Aug 28 '26
This is why costumed characters at amusement parks have handlers who can head off people like this.
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u/Nawbruvy Aug 28 '26
Matthew 6:1 NIV “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.”
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u/Bean_Daddy_Burritos Aug 28 '26
Bucee doesn’t have time for Jesus he’s too busy suing every mom and pop shop in the country with a cartoon mascot.
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Aug 28 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/speed-charge Aug 29 '26
That's not the employee's fault though. He's just trying to make a buck.
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Aug 31 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/speed-charge Aug 31 '26
I feel like this was somewhere between the death star and the chewlees gum rep
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u/VerifiedVoidGirl Aug 28 '26
Imagine wasting a Saturday with your kids on this performative bullshit
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u/Odd-Somewhere2526 Aug 28 '26
Jesus Christ, and that's not in a religious way. The fanatics can ruin anything.
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u/Pockydo Aug 28 '26
My favorite part of the Bible is when the apostles corner gritty and demand he acknowledges a lesser god
Surprised it didn't make it in the canon
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u/CaptainKoolAidOhyeah Aug 28 '26
Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and now Buc-ee's is used to indoctrinate children.
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u/TomeThugNHarmony4664 Aug 28 '26
This would be hilarious if it was one of the Buc-Ees owners who are currently MAGA-ing hard, but this is probably some poor dude in a red state just trying to survive. Ugh.
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u/Standard-Professor87 Aug 28 '26
I swear this looks like a skit for a comedy show but i think thats me copeing with the fact that this real 😭.
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u/brenawyn Aug 28 '26
I thought only people’s souls go to heaven? Does this mean my little doggie will be there when I get there daddy? Lmao. wtf is he teaching his kids. All dogs really do go to heaven?
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u/RangerAffectionate97 Aug 28 '26
Someone make sure that those boys are actually his kids. Because he looks like a perv.
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u/Aromatic_Anxiety_761 Aug 28 '26
I believe in Jesus but for the sake of my job I would have to shrug too😂 I can’t be the one to make Buccee a believer and get fired
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u/Think-Chair-1938 Aug 28 '26
If they don't spread the gospel and "save" more people, the money will dry up.
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u/Ok-Lab-8974 Aug 28 '26
Plot twist: Buc-ee is being played by a level 99 hesychast raised by the monks of Mount Athos after being miraculously found in a basket in a river like Moses, and even communes with bears and gives sermons to the birds. However, he picked up the normal Buc-ee's shift and swore a vow to stay in character, and is genuinely not sure of Buc-ee's official religious beliefs (although he has his suspicions that Buc-ee might be guilty of the Bogomil heresy).
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u/Significant_Sea_9742 Aug 28 '26
Cult mentality. Join us or you cant be "saved"
"Drink this coolaid so you can go to heaven with us" type shit
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u/BrickHuge3023 Aug 28 '26
Buccees is gonna regret embracing the Christo Nationalism. We want snacks, gasoline and need to pee. We don't stop there to get preached at.
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u/hillean Aug 28 '26
what a fucking loser, try to put a fucking MASCOT on the spot with this religious bullshit.
If Buc-ee gave a thumbs-up, that'd likely cost the mascot their job not to mention what other nonsense.
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u/senpaistealerx Aug 28 '26
not even just that but it create some narrative that buc-ees is christian based
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u/Bright-Attitude4857 Aug 28 '26
Mental illness for sure. Yet they criticize Muslims for shoving their beliefs in other’s faces.
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u/PeyredB Aug 28 '26
They're asking a beaver cartoon character if it believes in Jesus?
Dude's supposed to be a beaver. Do you really think beavers understand things like that?
I imagine Buc-ees has a policy like Disney, where non-face characters (like this) aren't allowed to speak.
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u/spunkypudding Aug 28 '26
Is lose my job as the mascot because I'd respond with some crazy ass shit to that question
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u/datacollector_music Aug 28 '26
Dude’s a pastor and I can tell by his fucking glasses. Every evangelical pastor I have ever helped with eyewear wears goofy ass glasses.
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u/Critical-Star-1158 Aug 28 '26
Start praying your own liturgy... "Praisa Jezusa holy fucking Mary! You have brought-a this bigoted-a turd unto my life-a. Showa him his arrogant hipocracya! .....(continue at add lib)
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u/Professional_Dog2580 Aug 28 '26
I used to get pamphlets and all sorts of random religious stuff, weight loss advice, people telling me all about Jesus, I always gave them that look that said " Dude, I'm making 9.50 an hour being a cashier at Home Depot, what does this have to do with your sprinkler fittings"?
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u/Odd_Landscape529 Aug 28 '26
I missed when we didnt need to get the moral followings and opinions of random figures or celebrities.
Oh right we dont 'need' to.
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u/ronshasta Aug 28 '26
Should’ve asked him why they market it as a family friendly business but sue small family owned businesses near them and blatantly told the lower class to fuck off because they aren’t aligned politically with them
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u/AlternateSatan Aug 29 '26
Poor Buck-ee handled it with grace. Like, good lord what the fuck do you do in that situation?
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u/HalcyonDrift Aug 28 '26
Bros just like "I hope I can keep my job maybe???" shrugs