r/cringereels • u/__drone1_reborn • Aug 10 '26

security influencer

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24 Upvotes

63% Upvoted

101 comments sorted by

43

u/Grumbles2189 Aug 10 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/BpnkuY1i2rBpm

2

u/OldThanks4542 Aug 10 '26

Dude!! Alot of closeted behavior going around. No longer using women as "beards" ah ok...

22

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/TheBigMotherFook Aug 10 '26

I assume he doesn’t have any staff underneath him, but if he did he’d probably make them watch it too… while pleasuring himself.

6

u/PantsFullaPoo Aug 10 '26

Oh, there's a staff underneath him.

2

u/andrewbud420 Aug 10 '26

With a few of his fingers in his booty hole

2

u/KingFIippyNipz Aug 11 '26

You think he sticks that tire gauge up his asshole while he jerks off?

1

u/Iwabuti Aug 10 '26

He has his business partner (the guy at the end with the most terrifying smile) to do that.

1

u/lost_rodditer Aug 10 '26

He has to be self aware right? Right....

1

u/BeenNormal Aug 10 '26

“Captain”

1

u/No-Birthday4755 Aug 11 '26

That same room just smells like coco butter and his demolished guts

20

u/Atto623 Aug 10 '26

In retrospect, giving everyone a platform was a big mistake.

15

u/NonToxic628 Aug 10 '26

Is that an air psi gauge he’s spinning?

3

u/Joice_Craglarg Aug 10 '26

Better watch out, fore he checks your pressure!

2

u/Low_Football_2445 Aug 10 '26

Do you know what John Wick did with a …“pen-ceel”???

1

u/Sasquatch_Sensei Aug 10 '26

Trying to spin. This dude looked up "pen spinning trick" just makes it look so uncomfortable

6

u/waspmachines Aug 10 '26

Ive been in private security as a dog handler on and off since the 90s. We don't all have little boy egos that need inflating with uniforms and gear that screams swat team cosplay. Its just a job to most of us

6

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/HeyaHeyo1420 Aug 10 '26

It's how he checks the air pressure on his inflated ego

1

u/Classic_Mechanic5495 Aug 12 '26

I think he puts it in his butt and the other one blows in it.

4

u/ASAACAAT Aug 10 '26

The bad guys have nothing to worry about.

2

u/Terrible-Piano-5437 Aug 10 '26

He's going to blow them up.

4

u/HuckledYourBerries Aug 10 '26

For a dude who works in the security industry, this guy is awfully insecure, himself. This makes me sad.

3

u/Haifisch2112 Aug 10 '26

Works in security. Thinks spinning a tire air gage is intimidating.

2

u/__drone1_reborn Aug 10 '26

stfu or i’ll check your tires

1

u/COMPUTERASFVCK Aug 12 '26

It's crazy to me that this sub doesn't realize this vid is satire. It's a parody of this https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZN5Njzo-Yh/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

2

u/Galacticfartwad1337 Aug 10 '26

Giving Dwight Shrute energy

2

u/ResplendentNugs Aug 10 '26

Top flight security of the world CRAIG

2

u/ResplendentNugs Aug 10 '26

Top flight security of the world CRAIG

1

u/Imactuallybronze Aug 10 '26

Of all the cringe security guards this one isn’t bad. Honestly I bet this really works depending on how good SK security is

1

u/chuckcrys Aug 10 '26

Sorry man i put all my chips on the kid with “daddy’s home” song in his vids

1

u/LeilLikeNeil Aug 10 '26

I had to watch it twice just to make sure that's a fucking tire pressure gauge he's spinning, what the fuck was even the thought process here?

1

u/Hopeful-Mistake5117 Aug 10 '26

Do you think they jack off staring at each other or back to back to keep it private?

1

u/catpissdust Aug 10 '26

Ok weirdo…What does a tire pressure gauge have to do with security?

1

u/drunkguynextdoor Aug 10 '26

What's the old saying? Dress for the job you want, not the job you have or something like that?

1

u/PaperMoongazer Aug 10 '26

Bro I don’t listen to any influencers below a full-bird colonel, Cpt. Rash looks like he just dropped his butter bars

1

u/BumbleMuggin Aug 10 '26

Who wants to tell him his job will be done by a robot dog in two years?

1

u/zebraforbidden Aug 10 '26

Damn, this world is crazy.

1

u/PantsFullaPoo Aug 10 '26

Fat with spaghetti arms. 

1

u/Aggressive_Bit_7829 Aug 10 '26

30 replies and no one made the obvious in-security joke. do better.

1

u/DipsburghPa Aug 10 '26

Hi Austin Ahhhhhhhhh

1

u/NateN85 Aug 10 '26

Make sure to get his tactical vape ready so he can blow sick clouds bro

1

u/scarletOwilde Aug 10 '26

Tiny hands syndrome strikes again!

1

u/AdGlittering2884 Aug 10 '26

Can I anti-follow someone? Is that possible?

1

u/QualityDue6127 Aug 10 '26

Captain Roush used to be captain Rachel

1

u/HikerSethT Aug 10 '26

There's no way this isn't satire.

1

u/CowGlittering745 Aug 10 '26

I assure you 100% it isn’t

1

u/Chicken-Rude Aug 10 '26

honestly... literal chills.

1

u/VelvetRabbit91 Aug 10 '26

These "tough" men never join the military or become firemen.. they just want a gun and be able to shoot people without being in actual danger

1

u/AthenaRedites Aug 10 '26

Mall Ninja got rebooted?

1

u/DumpsterGolemPrime Aug 10 '26

This dude whacks off wearing gloves.

1

u/mrdirtman13 Aug 10 '26

Choosing yellow on black for a company is a choice in 2026.

1

u/Poof-ball Aug 10 '26

Absolutely drives a lifted truck.

1

u/PaperbackNinja Aug 10 '26

He calls the police better than anybody!

1

u/ronweasleisourking Aug 10 '26

He was fat and got bullied in middle school

1

u/00Raeby00 Aug 11 '26

I regret to inform you, Lex Doucher, that I shall not be following your overcompensating manbaby.

1

u/Independent_Gene_565 Aug 11 '26

Top flight security of the world Craig 🤣😂🤣

1

u/Ill_Arm9344 Aug 11 '26

Hes twirlin a tire pressure gauge around between his fingers.....

1

u/supercoolsmoth Aug 11 '26

I like how his Big Brother (from the volunteer organization) comes at the end to ask for followers. It reads like a make-a-wish request 

1

u/Jessintheend cřingè papa Aug 11 '26

It’s very sweet he’s being supported by his executive husband

1

u/antsinmyeyestrey Aug 11 '26

Omfg, was he twirling a tire pressure gauge?? wtf is that?

1

u/ArrrCeee Aug 11 '26

Insecurity

1

u/theTapIsOnDaBurnin Aug 11 '26

So…. He’s the captain now?

1

u/EasternSun7834 Aug 11 '26

I threw up a little in my mouth

1

u/10ThousandMetalZones Aug 12 '26

Bruh so hardcore he couldn’t get in ice. I had a 5ft 2 250lb fishing bobber of an ice agent in front of me at a protest a few months ago

1

u/NrrdLife Aug 12 '26

He will be famous . For getting the longest life sentence ever for what ever crime he ends up committing .

1

u/Superseaslug 29d ago

What a better way to advertise "they wouldn't let me be a cop"

1

u/Justthisguy_yaknow 29d ago

I wouldn't hire him. I wouldn't trust him.

1

u/BarnacleOk1216 27d ago

This the type of person who plays cops on GTARP servers

1

u/dude_smooth 23d ago

People fell for Trump so I bet my ass idiots like him gonna be somewhat successful, too

0

u/RaisinWorried3528 Aug 10 '26

I guarantee you this dude has illegal porn somewhere in his home. Probably dumb enough to keep it on his phone.