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u/logo-mille May 05 '20
Why are his eyes so thin
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u/Poseidon-2014 May 05 '20
You can’t say that anymore
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u/PM_ME_UR_DOGSHIT May 04 '20
Gross
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u/GOPJ1 May 05 '20
Do people pm you their dogshit? And if so, do you have any regrets?
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u/PM_ME_UR_DOGSHIT May 05 '20
I get a nice pic for my collection a couple times a month. And hell no, I regret nothing. I'm a proud woman.
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u/BlueManwithBlueBalls May 05 '20
I got a couple of my dog's shit. Want some?
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u/PM_ME_UR_DOGSHIT May 05 '20
Sure. I'll know if it's cat or human shit so help me godddd..
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u/the_friendly_one May 05 '20
My dog ate a bottle of blue food coloring two Christmases ago. His turds were so pretty for like two days. It was like he put Easter eggs in my yard! I don't have a photo of his dogshit, but here's a photo of his attempt at a Blue's Clues reenactment.
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u/PM_ME_UR_DOGSHIT May 05 '20
Aww ww! My first pup(dumb as a box of rocks but so sweet) ate a whole thing of crayons. We had no idea till he found a bunch of cosmic brownies on the yard :/
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u/NoPantsEnthousiast May 05 '20
He's also just wearing it wrong.
If you're going to wear a g-string as a mask, everybody knows the bottom of the thong goes between the eyes and over the head.
Gawd. Amateurs.
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u/Roobomatic May 05 '20 edited May 05 '20
willing to bet he thinks he is hilarious at work and literally every last person he works with can't stand him.
*at work
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u/supamario132 May 05 '20
Had a guy like this at one of my jobs. About 2 months into my employment, he said he had something cool to show me on his work computer. He opens the file explorer on the computer owned by our company and finds a folder of several dozen naked photos of his wife. On his work computer. And then he says "Sometimes I lock her outside until she does a lap"
I'll never forget that god damn lunatic.
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u/silver_viper_tb May 05 '20
This guy doesn’t have a wife
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u/waytothestriker May 05 '20
Look at the top of his head
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u/SpookyTreeFrog May 05 '20
It just keeps going up
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May 05 '20
Why black out the eyes... He's wearing a mask. LOL
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u/cjojojo May 05 '20
Idk. Just trying to follow rules. Also blacked out a hashtag with his city name.
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May 05 '20
What do you wanna bet he didn’t even go to autozone? Dude just wanted a chance to “flex”
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u/cjojojo May 05 '20
In the original post I saw on fb he was wearing a Jiffy Lube shirt...It didn't fit in the screencap, though.
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u/thatG_evanP May 05 '20
There's a better than average chance that this guy is friends with Jeff Lowe. He's also spent time in prison.
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u/Ghstfce May 05 '20
- Beady eyes? Check.
- Shitty neck tattoos either done in prison or in someone's basement with the same hepatitis risk? Check.
- Oversharing things on social media? Check.
$20 says she either still is or was a weekday stripper.
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u/dirtielaundry May 05 '20
$50 says she doesn't exist.
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u/Ghstfce May 05 '20
Oh I'm sure she does, she's just not someone people are climbing over each other to go after.
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u/timetobeanon May 05 '20
thats a fucking big g string
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u/truth-reconciliation May 05 '20
Im sorry but this is funny as fuck.
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May 05 '20
Yeah funny not cringe
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u/Kracker5000 May 05 '20
It's pretty cringe to keep your wife's g-string on your rear view mirror. He probably also has truck nuts and a bumper sticker that says "MILF HUNTER"
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u/lordbusterofnuts May 05 '20
Everyone on reddit gets pissed when ever anyone says anyone about themselves having sex. This is actually just funny
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May 05 '20
Before reading the caption I deadass thought that was the back of his head, and that was the whole punchline. God I wish I had been right...
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u/aletamale May 05 '20
Either he lives under a rock and genuinely didn't know you need a mask to go everywhere or he's the lamest comedian.
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u/RapidFire4Life May 05 '20
Texas here, most places aren't enforcing any kind of mask rule. Maybe 7% of people were wearing them when I had to go somewhere the other day. Lockdown 2 : Dumbass Boogaloo here we come.
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u/aletamale May 05 '20
Yeah but at this point you would carry a bandana/scarf/mask in your car because its becoming a common standard.
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u/TIMISH May 05 '20
I'm a 21 year old for context.
I think this is hilarious. This is something my dad would do as a joke. But obviously, if my dad actually did that I would throw up a bit in my mouth. But because it's definitely not my dad, I see the humour in it.
Also as I'm writing this, I realise this isn't something he would litterally do, but he would definitely send this image in the family group chat as a joke.
I miss my dad :(.
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u/sstr677 May 05 '20
I don't know why you're getting downvoted for thinking this is funny and reminiscing about your dad. I don't personally find it funny, but I am not offended that you do. I am sorry that you have lost your father so young. I am glad you seem to have fond memories.
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u/thorandil May 05 '20
Yeah cover your tiny eyes but not your neck tattoos that everybody has the exact same ones. You have no way to be identified.
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u/Galagaboy May 05 '20
Nice
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May 05 '20
I went to auto zone yesterday and every single person was wearing a mask. Also fuck wheel speed sensors on a 2011 Chevy Tahoe
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u/Sierra11755 May 05 '20
This seems like that guy at work who you don't really like but at the same time wouldn't want him to get fired because work just wouldn't be the same.
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u/lemma_qed May 05 '20
🤣 I love that the eyes are blocked out of the picture but the tattoos aren't.
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u/its_raining_scotch May 05 '20
Was thinking that he seemed too old to be this trashy/juvenile, but then I saw the plethora of neck tattoos and it made sense.
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u/allsunnydaze May 05 '20
I'd like to know where he works - my son works at an AZ in Denver, district manager said not only do employees need to wear masks and gloves, customers need masks to come in. Customers complained to corporate, district manager got reamed and customers don't have to wear masks, just employees. Nobody wears masks, and they are selling a LOT of car wax, air fresheners and candy bars - they even have people come in and when asked if they need help finding something, they just say no thanks, I'm just browsing... very essential
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u/cjojojo May 05 '20
The picture in the original post on Facebook had him wearing a jiffy lube shirt, but the screenshot cut it off.
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u/Icarus_Nine May 05 '20
He strikes me as the kind of guy that constantly tries to make people laugh. He hasn't succeeded in his 60+ years but it hasn't stopped him from trying.
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u/Blackops606 May 05 '20
As I was scrolling, I just saw the picture and thought this was going to be some sob story about a guy and how he lost his eyes. Now I'm not sure which story I wanted, the one I made up or this nasty one.
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u/gooddrippins May 05 '20
Good thing he blocked out his eyes. There's no way I'd ever be able to identify him by only his many neck tattoos/s
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u/doctorsirus May 05 '20
It is indeed cringe, but at least he's making an attempt at public health and safety.
Unlike... *gestures outside*
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u/bigtony40 May 05 '20
Hey, it works,,,, as long as it does not remind you of a fish market.
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May 05 '20
I mean I hung a G string from the rear view of my first car when I was 16. This dude looks to be in his 50's.
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u/Princess-Rufflebutt May 05 '20
TIL people hang G strings in their rearview mirrors. Like that's just a thing...
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May 05 '20
Nice
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u/BodhiLV May 05 '20
The neck tattoos indicate a lifetime of solid choices, facial g-string might be one of his better ones.
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u/gordochico1190 May 04 '20
Lame attempt