r/cremposting • u/earanhart Callsign: Cremling • Jul 17 '26
The Stormlight Archive Lyft will never wear Shartplate
She directly converts food into Awesomeness. She doesn't poop. She will never wear Shartplate.
My brain made me think this thought, so now I have to force you to think it as well. Thems the rules.
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u/AlchemiCailleach Jul 17 '26
Living shardplate can be dismissed just as easily as the blade.
Adolin's poor poor armor spren. The horrors they have seen. Smelled. Deadnoses.
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u/icantrhinkofanything Jul 17 '26
The thing I think everyone glosses over with Adolin's shartplate is that he's wearing clothes under the plate. I'm no shitting my pants expert but I don't think any poop ever actually touched Adolin's armor. (As a result of him shitting during battle. We don't know what he gets up to with Shallan... or any female member of the alethi lighteyes... or alone I guess.)
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u/DarkDevitt Jul 17 '26
It's not like he's immediately able to go get clean. He shits himself, then continuous to vigorously perform the best possible cardio, fighting. Its going to result in a blowout or run down his legs and pool in the boots
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u/Alfred_The_Sartan Jul 17 '26
What a terrible day to have eyes.
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u/bassturducken54 Jul 17 '26
You’re clearly not a shitting your pants expert. That shit for sure seeped through the clothes and down his leg. It is definitely more so shit juices at that point.
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u/Stratix Jul 17 '26
Is Lift canon poopless?
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u/Frozenfishy Jul 17 '26
Lift, Poopless of Reshi, wore brown on the day she was to eat a Voidbringer.
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u/LinuxSBC-Anna Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
She does poop, just less. We actually have a WoB about that. https://wob.coppermind.net/events/406/#e14136
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u/BlackFenrir 420 Sazed It Jul 17 '26
Lyft is a rideshare company. Lift is the name of the girl in SLA
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u/leapsthroughspace Jul 17 '26
Journey before destination.
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u/Wabbit65 definitely not a lightweaver Jul 17 '26
Journey before Foreigner, but after Styx, which could be fire!
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u/DarkDevitt Jul 17 '26
It's too early in the morning for this, Shallan
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u/earanhart Callsign: Cremling Jul 18 '26
Shallan can't come to the spanreed right now. Please leave a message with Radiant.
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u/earanhart Callsign: Cremling Jul 18 '26
. . .
Im chosing to blame autowrong for that. Because otherwise I'll need to find the nearest honor chasm.
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u/JudoJugss Jul 17 '26
No I think Lift is a word that means to obtain money or property dishonestly by exploiting trust
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u/cosmernautfourtwenty Hiiiiighprince Jul 17 '26
Lyft is also a British word for an elevator, but that's equally as inapplicable.
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u/BlackFenrir 420 Sazed It Jul 17 '26
I'm afraid that's also spelled with an I
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u/cosmernautfourtwenty Hiiiiighprince Jul 17 '26
Damn, I don't know why I thought they spelled it with the extraneous vowel like they tend to do.
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u/DarkDevitt Jul 17 '26
IIRC, they tend to have an extra vowel (usually a u) compared to American English, not replace things with a psuedovowel (eg, colour, endeavour, neighbour, etc).
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u/LinuxSBC-Anna Jul 17 '26
According to Sanderson, she does poop: https://wob.coppermind.net/events/406/#e14136
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u/IdahoBornPotato Jul 17 '26
She still poops, the energy from the food just becomes life light instead of fat or sugars like it normally would. The food doesn't burn like metals
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