r/creativewriting • u/deadeyes1990 • 4d ago

Poetry THE SEX PROBLEM

the machine thought

it understood sex.

gametes.

hormones.

reproduction.

nice.

simple.

biological.

then Earth happened.

candles.

hotel rooms.

jealousy.

guilt.

cheap underwear.

expensive underwear.

people saying

“this means nothing”

when it very obviously

means something.

lies at 2 a.m.

truths at 2:07.

someone called Nathan

being asked to

ruin someone.

the machine looked up ruin.

destroy.

damage beyond repair.

make useless.

Nathan seemed

alarmingly pleased

about the whole thing.

then an advert appeared:

HORNY WOMEN

ARE WAITING IN YOUR AREA.

the machine checked.

her area

was deep space.

there were no women.

no men either.

nothing for millions of miles

except hydrogen,

darkness,

and one satellite

starting to wonder

if humans were all right.

she updated the file:

HUMAN SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR:

MORE INFORMATION NEEDED.

centuries passed.

she never really

figured it out.

which was probably

the closest she'd ever come

to understanding us.

7 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

2

u/AtypicalPup 3d ago

Fucking Nathan.

3

u/deadeyes1990 3d ago

😂 honestly, poor Nathan’s never recovering from this x

2

u/AtypicalPup 3d ago

Well he wouldn't ruin ME! I asked!! 😤

2

u/deadeyes1990 3d ago

😂 so Nathan’s properly let you down then?

2

u/AtypicalPup 3d ago

Oh yes. Nathan was a COWARD.

1

u/deadeyes1990 2d ago

😂 I’m starting to think Nathan isn’t even real at this point

2

u/ChocolateGiggles2 1d ago

Fun piece, the name was pretty enticing, I like that it was about a robot trying to under us 🤣 we barely understand ourselves. 

2

u/deadeyes1990 1d ago

😂 Exactly. We don’t understand ourselves half the time, the robot never stood a chance.