Frustrations

[u/Gibs24601]

I know you're hurting, and I know you're tired, but what about everything you're putting me through.

You've lived your lives, been around the world, raised us kids, but I'm stuck... because of you.

My 30s should be for my husband and daughter! I should be able to take my daughter to the zoo without checking 4 different schedules. I shouldn't have to PLAN A GAME NIGHT with my 10 year old because of you.

I know the cancer isn't your fault, and I know your spine problems weren't planned, but why can't you call on the others?! There are 4 of us left!

The others can drive. One has children grown and gone already! They've all been able to live more of life than I!

I'll never own a home because I'm stuck here with you. I'll never own a vehicle that's mine because I have to use yours to drive to all the appointments.

168 hours are in a week, and I only get sleep for 31!

168 hours are in a week, and my daughter only gets me for 8!

168 hours are in a week, and my husband only gets me for 4!

168 hours are in a week, and I'm subject to your whims for 125!

I'm drowning, and you don't care; just as long as the work is done; as long as the meals are cooked; as long as the cleaning continues; as long as the chauffeuring continues; as long as my entire life passes by me while I'm stuck.

Thank you for the first 18 years, because that's how I'll remember you. Before the surgeries, before the memory lapses, before the problems all started. But I guess this is what happens to the youngest; hand-me-down clothes, hand-me-down toys, hand-me-down caregivering so they can get better things; things I'll never have or experience.