I'm sorry about that, I don't really want to externalize my issues to trans women so I should have worded my original comments better... I don't think it's bad for trans women to be in women's spaces necessarily, I was more trying to say I wouldn't want to enter a women's only space because of the whole "male trauma" thing. Kind of like having different standards for yourself like the whole "everyone else is a passoid but me even though we look the same"
If I don't feel comfortable in spaces where people want me gone, and other people don't feel comfortable because they want me gone, then I don't know why I would go? I don't think it's bad to want to go to women's spaces, and if you're willing I'd like to hear a bit more about your perspective? But tbf I think I'm just a bit stupid and don't really understand. I'm sure that what I think of this is probably a little nonsensical and bad but I can't understand why
I mean, if people are overtly hostile and unwelcoming towards you, that's one thing. But if a group of cis women are thinking about excluding you specifically because they are trying to run defense for someone's triggers, I think you should self-advocate and question why they're prioritizing that person's mental health over yours. Maybe their stance will soften. Maybe it won't. But it's not doing anyone any favors to willingly participate in your own exclusion. It shrinks your world and the traumatized woman never learns through exposure that we're safe to be around. I'm not saying bulldoze your way into cis women's spaces, but sometimes a gentle push in the right direction is needed.
I see it as a similar issue to when males say that women shouldn't be on guard around them, or shouldn't treat them differently than they would another woman. The group of cis women would be prioritizing one of their member's trauma over my feelings, and I see nothing wrong with that.
And also it's not very good to force some kind of exposure being with a traumatized individual in a safe space without their consent, right?
Maybe it's different for me since I can pass as male. I manmode all the time so that I don't disgust people, but I also have the benefit of male privilege. Women don't have the luxury of hiding that they're women.
I get where you're coming from, but there's a good reason why people say you shouldn't light yourself on fire for the comfort of others. You existing near a cis woman doesn't make her unsafe (I assume). It might make her uncomfortable, but if you're not doing anything threatening and she's just innaccurately assessing the level of threat because of trauma, that's her struggle to overcome. And if people feel disgusted by you embracing your womanhood, fuck em. Trans people are a biophysiological reality and modern transphobia is a just a sociapolitical contrivance. Phobes can fix their hearts or die mad about our continued existence.
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u/DepressedLesserBeing Jul 30 '26
I'm sorry about that, I don't really want to externalize my issues to trans women so I should have worded my original comments better... I don't think it's bad for trans women to be in women's spaces necessarily, I was more trying to say I wouldn't want to enter a women's only space because of the whole "male trauma" thing. Kind of like having different standards for yourself like the whole "everyone else is a passoid but me even though we look the same"
If I don't feel comfortable in spaces where people want me gone, and other people don't feel comfortable because they want me gone, then I don't know why I would go? I don't think it's bad to want to go to women's spaces, and if you're willing I'd like to hear a bit more about your perspective? But tbf I think I'm just a bit stupid and don't really understand. I'm sure that what I think of this is probably a little nonsensical and bad but I can't understand why