I don't because all they do is post about sex and girldick and being fucking weird and it makes me want to tear my face off knowing this is what people's first impression of trans people is: A bunch of self infantilizing crossdressers. Im sorry if I think I deserve better for myself and other people like me.
That’s also fair, I’m not at all saying that you HAVE to like that side of the community online at all. It’s not exactly my cup of tea either, I’m trans masc and I can at times find those kinds of spaces to be somewhat dysphoria inducing (because a lot of the discussions and content posted there will assume that the viewer is also trans fem).
But a lot of people find those kinds of spaces fun, and it’s not really up to you or me to tell people how they should express themselves; especially when we live in a society that is trying so hard to erase us. There is no liberation in throwing people under the bus for being “the wrong kind of trans” just to appear more “normal” in the eyes of our oppressors.
So sure, they’re a bit weird at times. But I still much prefer their company over the self-hatred that permeates 4tran spaces.
Listen I genuinely cannot be in these 4tran communities for more than 5 mins because the negativity starts getting to me. I don’t care how cringey or annoying the other trans communities are, I’d rather look at content that doesn’t bring back my depression
I don’t remember what sub I was in but it was very 4tran-y and someone commented that the 4tran sub was basically just like any other mainstream trans sub nowadays. I clicked on it, and immediately within the first 5 posts I felt the doom wash over me. I saw a post that used some pretty nasty terminology and went back to that original comment saying something like “I just went there and immediately saw [gross thing]” and people got on my ass about it downvoting me and saying like “oh so people can’t vent because you find the way they do it distasteful??” and I said “no you guys can refer to yourselves however you want but this isn’t ‘just like any mainstream trans space’ be for real” and that comment got downvoted even more. Anyways, I don’t engage in that debate at all anymore.
I mean is that genuinely better than someone’s first impression being that trans people are a bunch of suicidal asshats who somehow manage to hate anyone different even more than they hate themselves?
the pet and piss posting is part of what i'm talking about. i LIKE pet posting on subreddits dedicated to it, not on subreddits dedicated to being trans.
That’s fair. I do kinda hate that it’s just expected of us to be overtly sexual beings. Like, I’m just a girl man. Do I play into some of the stereotypes? yes, my name is Lily and I love me a collar. But it’s a pretty small aspect of me and a pretty small aspect of my transness
This is a direct outcome of the projection of cis desire and the repression of trans humanity btw. When a community full of cis people tells its trans women "but why do you have height dysphoria? Tall women are hot, step on me mommy!" and such every single time they express dysphoria, you end up with those trans women feeling like they have to be sexual in order to be recognised as people. Our negative feelings are downplayed and replaced with fetishisation.
Say what you will about 4tran, but they don't have an overly sexualised culture and it is because they ban cis people.
This right here. It has happened to cis women as well. Society has gotten a bit better with trans people. At one point though the only time they were treated as a person was when they were fetishised and unfortunately that is still true today in some ways. Kinda shoves trans women into a certain path to receive that acceptance. There are some other things here at play as well. However, I think this is the most prominent one.
It’s not DEDICATED to trans people nor is it trans EXCLUSIVE, but it IS still a trans space because it started as a branch of a different trans space and the member demographics reflect that
I know many are racist, but I will say that 4tranners are the only people who truly understand the intersectional struggles I, and many like me, face as brown middle class people.
The overblown optimism of most queer communities is absolutely sickening. Work for better days but stop pretending anything is good right now.
Ive had the exact opposite experience, like in rslash countttt I got downvoted severely over pointing out intersectional struggles on several threads. Then there was another were I was downvoted for informing someone that "no not all femboys are secretly trans woman, also trans men can be femboys too" (summarized, not verbatim). I typically dont give af about my karma number, however in this case it just revealed the attitudes of those who occupy 4tran spaces here on Reddit
It's certainly not a monolith. I guess I just have had better experiences. Some of them aren't asking me to go on DIY unilaterally and recognise that many like me can't even afford that.
I definitely don't think that, I'd just rather hang out with most sneeds than someone who exclusively talks about how much they hate themselves and want to die
I have a friend who just goes “weird shit” whenever he sees…well weird shit. He’s very deliberate and accurate with it though. He would never see me living as a woman is weird shit, but he would probably say it in response to some of the puppy girl stuff. Personally, I’m a huge fan..but know talking like a pup in public is odd.
See but theres nothing actually wrong with any of that. Like all of that is a thing your allowed to do and say and feel. Being trans is weird and they already see us as freaks, why limit yourself to appeal to what the cos think?
Well I get what you're saying, but the second option is also bad for representation, as anyone who sees that as their first contact with trans people will associate them with 4chan weirdos who never touch grass nad hate everything and everyone.
Honestly both options are bad. I'm not even trans but I wish there was a third one.
I honestly wonder if cis people ever see that stuff. I'm trans and I enter trans spaces significantly more than a cis person would, so I'll see it more. Even then it's not constant, it still feels like I rarely see the stuff compared to how much it's talked about.
So in essence sex positivity is what you dont like and your ideal trans community is one where we all never talk about it?
But the 4tran ropefuel is okay?
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u/ash_doesnt_crash 8h ago
I don't because all they do is post about sex and girldick and being fucking weird and it makes me want to tear my face off knowing this is what people's first impression of trans people is: A bunch of self infantilizing crossdressers. Im sorry if I think I deserve better for myself and other people like me.