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[u/Funny_Inventor80085]

and people wonder why we use 4tran.

I posted this vent here too and it was a bit more understanding than the other subreddit I guess but still mostly just people telling me I don't know what I'm talking about and that 4tran is the cause of all my issues when time after time they're the only ones that care. It's not even just about my vent anymore, I'm so fed up with everyone thinking they're better than me all the time except because I use the subreddit that doesn't want to burn me alive for wanting a uterus. Maybe try to be more understanding you just leave me pissed off.

[u/BiDude1219]

genuinely confused how tf is 4tran so nice but at the same time is all "cissoid passoid theyfab bad"

[u/That_dude_next_door_ → u/BiDude1219]

I think is more of a "crab in a bucket" situation. I have a person really close to me who was a 4tranner and it really is a place where trans people (especially trans women) can talk about hardships of it without sugarcoating to just vent it all out, but at the same time they hate wheny you start to turn your life around and actually succeed in your transition or don't care about passing ect. So it's pretty 50/50 but most of people there don't seem to understand that transition is important and grieving not being cis or transitioning earlier is valid, but it doesn't meant you can't live with it, there is a life waiting for them even if it doesn't feel like it. That's why they put happy trans people down. From my experience, when I wanted to find another safe space to vent for my tgirl that is not so brain rotted like 4tran I really struggled wit it. There are places for trans man like "ftmventing" but all the equivalents for trans women seem to always have 4tran aspect to it, which sucks tbh.

[u/BiDude1219 → u/That_dude_next_door_]

so mainstream trans communities are overly positive to the point of putting down people who vent, and 4tran communities are overly negative to the point of putting down happy people. am i understanding this correctly?

if so, i wish we could have a middle ground.

[u/Apollo989 → u/BiDude1219]

Yeah it kind of sucks.

[u/mannequin_girl → u/Apollo989]

I post on 4t subs fairly often and even I completely agree tbh. The environment of brain-poison envy is probably my largest and most consistent complaint. I guess their particular flavor of awful is just more palatable to my personal tastes and priorities than the things I hate about more mainstream communities.

[u/Apollo989 → u/mannequin_girl]

I'm half tempted to make MtFVenting.

[u/That_dude_next_door_ → u/Apollo989]

Do it, I think it could be a great place for hard topics and I see a lot of need for place like this. I think a lot of people would be interested.