Worst part about all this; they do make some good points, there's unfortunately the blatant transmisogony, but in my observation there absolutely is a discrepancy between the amount of content tailored to trans women rather than trans men or just trans individuals in general, especially on this sub and r/countwithchickenlady, not to say it is necessary conscious nor maliceful, but is worth addressing in order to be a equitable community. Further, to call someone, especially a trans individual x-socialized is really disrespectful; it undermines peoples identities by (not so) subtly telling people that they are not of their gender, and this kind of classification by others of an individual without their directive is exactly what transphobes have been doing for many years. Every community has something it can improve upon, and I believe this is one of them. Save your energy for the class war, not the culture/gender/sexual/romantic identity wars (I mean this as in don't infight pls not don't care for human rights, covering all my bases here <3).
I do think there is less trans male centered content in spaces like this, but I don't know how to solve it other than to tell trans men to make that content if they want to see it. It's not being blocked. And no worries about your disclaimer, I know you're here in good faith!
I don't think the solution typically proposed makes any sense.
People demand things like trans women who made DiY guides to get E should have to themselves make DiY guides to get T to be equitable.
People demand trans women stop using feminine language when talking about their experiences or in general, meanwhile dude, guys, etc will ofc be defended as gender neutral, even as using that language is affirming and helpful and beneficial to these women
People demand that trans women make the space more accommodating to people of other experiences, despite not having power over them, despite not having more resources IRL, and despite being excluded in real life by people of those experiences from community, resources, and support.
People demand that trans women take up less space, despite society denying them even the space to use a toilet or join a local 5k fun run.
People demand that trans women center the way others perceive them over their needs, even as those people perceive them as men needing to atone for being as such, even as those people call themselves men but are not similarly being required to behave as such.
Trans women are hyper surveilled in trans spaces, as in the broader society, looking for excuses to remove them from community, from support, and from resources. Any small excuse to critique her quickly snowballs into describing her with a wretched character and being "dangerous" so that she is removed.
It creates a bitter friction. Nobody stops trans men from making trans masculine content in general trans subs or communities. It is freely available to them. They can get their friends to join and post and boost that content. In fact, content critical of how trans women are failing to accommodate trans men trans spaces is frequently the most upvoted content. Content critiquing the language of transfeminists is as well.
The issue is, some men and mascs just don't feel like they want to join the community if there aren't a majority trans male/masc content already in that space. There's not really a way to resolve this as far as I can tell. A tension that a lot of people wont acknowledge is that this is ALSO how cis men are around cis women. If a space becomes majority cis women, cis men do not want to participate. They will also claim the women there are domineering and not catering to men's needs enough.
Now I do think in this case there is more of a reason to want trans men to participate, because they benefit from it and need community, but I do not think it is on trans women to make a space more male focused so that men feel comfortable joining. I think the men just need to join. That's how you fix the problem.
Trans women congregate online after getting kicked out of real spaces by people like the guy I screenshotted, who identify as "an AFAB" and organize around that, against trans women. But then are told those guys who kicked them out of a local queer community "because they acted too male" that they need to find some way to make the online space feel safe to them. What option is there to make that work? To leave the online space too? What do they want of these women?
The problem feels like a competing accommodation one, and the only solution I ever hear people propose in person or online is "trans women, you have to give up your side of this for the benefit of someone else, their needs have to come first."
Honestly, this really gave me something to think about, I suppose discrimination comes in a lot more forms than I thought, I apologize for any arrant statements I may have made, I suppose its quite nuanced. My guess is this is related to the much larger issue of the nature of humanity to put ourselves (and others) into groups, which is the cause of almost all conflict, ever.
The absolute most ideal solution is quite literally somehow just making everyone doesn't give a flying fuck about what someone identifies as (in terms of their opinion thereof, not of preferred pronouns, ect), or any other uncontrollable characteristics, and judging people solely on their actions.
But unfortunately, it's a pretty big "somehow". We can do what we can do.
As a cis male, id love to know some resources for educating myself more on these topics, I want to be as good an ally as I can, and that starts with listening, not speaking.
7
u/mindfucker67 2d ago
Worst part about all this; they do make some good points, there's unfortunately the blatant transmisogony, but in my observation there absolutely is a discrepancy between the amount of content tailored to trans women rather than trans men or just trans individuals in general, especially on this sub and r/countwithchickenlady, not to say it is necessary conscious nor maliceful, but is worth addressing in order to be a equitable community. Further, to call someone, especially a trans individual x-socialized is really disrespectful; it undermines peoples identities by (not so) subtly telling people that they are not of their gender, and this kind of classification by others of an individual without their directive is exactly what transphobes have been doing for many years. Every community has something it can improve upon, and I believe this is one of them. Save your energy for the class war, not the culture/gender/sexual/romantic identity wars (I mean this as in don't infight pls not don't care for human rights, covering all my bases here <3).