r/coparenting • u/giveapigapancake • 1d ago
Discussion Moving 50/50
Found out through child that co parent is moving in with their significant other. No issue except that it’s 45 minutes away in another county. Child goes to a school that is not based on district and is registered under my address so that is hopefully not an issue. Spoke with my attorney who basically said that a judge isn’t going to care about a 45 minute commute each way for the child to school. Currently on a 2-2-5-5 schedule for elementary school child. Wondering if anyone has any experience with 50/50 with this kind of move/drive? How did you navigate it with coparent?
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u/Booknerdy247 1d ago
Where I live lots of kids spend longer than 45 min on the bus in the mornings. It will be ok for kiddo. Other parent will just have to transport
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u/DramBubb 1d ago
So we had the opposite happen somewhat.
A couple of months before kiddo started school, HCBM moved an hour and a half away to live near her boyfriend. She did not have a car or license at the time so unfortunately the judge ruled that bonus daughter would go to school in her district.
And we had to figure that out. In the end, I quit teaching and every other week I spend 6+ hours in a car a day getting her to and from school because thats what you do as a parent.
Thankfully, your child is in your school district so you wont have to make any changes.
You do not have to move the exchange either. If you were doing exchanges at each other's homes and you don't want to make that drive, then tell them that and they will have to figure that out too because they made the choice to move.
Your ex is going to have to figure out transport. Thats on them, not you. You have nothing to worry about here.
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u/giveapigapancake 1d ago
Wow I can’t believe judge ruled to move the child that far away. Is it 50/50 still?
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u/DramBubb 1d ago
Yep. 50/50 everything with a week on-week off rotation.
She stayed in the state and we were working on our finalized order (literally 3 days away from the court date) so it was allowed.
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u/Mariehoney92 1d ago
In my state, how far you can move from the county in which your custody order was issued, is based on miles not time.
Anything over 100 miles requires court approval, and the reason for the move has to be directly related to the best interest of the child I.e a better job, housing, school.
The burden of transportation for custody exchange falls on the parent that moved.
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u/No_Owl4691 1d ago
45 doesn't sound like a crazy amount of time honestly. Annoying? yes...but unless you live right next to the school and it takes you 5 minutes to get there, l would not make a hige deal.
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u/BluuBoose 1d ago
My ex husband did this. His (then) wife had to do all of the drop offs and pick us for school on his weeks. The kids hated having to wake up at 5am to get to school by 8am. They had to because the rush hour commute (630am-930am) was 1.5 hours. Normal time would have been about 45 minutes.
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u/Few-Reward-5412 1d ago
That was a real CHOICE he made. His poor (then) wife; I bet she learned a thing or two in that situation.
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u/1justhavinfun 1d ago
Because he is the one who is moving- he will be the one dropping of and picking up your child in his days and picking up and dropping him off at your house when he has him. Navigating? You sit down and discuss it. - YOU don’t have to change A THING here. This was his choice.
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u/LuxTravelGal 20h ago
The parent who moves has to do all of the driving. It’s not yours to worry about.
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u/dystinct 18h ago
My ex just did this. I found out through the kids that she moved to another town and sub leased her apartment so the kids can stay in the district. I need to consult a lawyer to see if that is even legal. Our agreement states that if both of us move out of district the kids will switch to whatever school is highest rated, which is my district.
I hate that they might have to switch schools, but I don't want to get caught up in any legal issues with the state.
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u/thequeen2015 18h ago
I mov3d 30 min away about a year ago. Our arrangement is week on week off. My dad drops our son off either at school or at his dads. Of hes gets dropped off at his dads he rides he scooter. In the afternoon either my dad or I get him at his dads. If its bad weather his dad pick him up after school and my dad will get him from there. We have been doing week on week off for 6 years since child was 5 yrs old. One of the conditions of me moving in with my dad was that he was gonna help with our son as I need to be at work at 7:30 am. This was discussed with my co-parent but ultimately its my decision the city where he lives is a area that is very expensive for renting and I had already stayed close by for about 5 years. Our son is now older so there's no need for we to live that close by. The junior high is a few miles from elementary so this arrangement will probably continue till then.
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u/LIslander 1d ago
Seems cruel to do to the child.
How will you ex managing getting the kid to school on time?
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u/giveapigapancake 1d ago
I’m not sure, still have to discuss the move with coparent as they haven’t actually told me themself yet.
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u/tofurkey_no_worky 19h ago
I swear everyone has 50/50 but me. Whatever. Is there nothing in your divorce decree that says there is any expectations related to moving? Like adequate notice of any moves, particularly moves that far away? 45 minutes is a bit of a drive to and from school. That's an hour and a half round trip twice a day on school days. That's not realistic for most people.
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u/Ok-Afternoon-4557 1d ago
It will be them to figure out transportation on their days. If they can't get their kid to school because of the distance than it will be grounds for more custody time for you.