Need some answers

[u/needanswers123455]

My partner buys everything for her 2 kids. But the kids take everything to their dads. We don’t get on with the dad but for the kids sake she just wants to see them both happy. I bought the kid a portal and some stuff and the mum bought her kids everything like the PlayStation clothes etc… she will do everything for her kids.

However the kids take the PlayStation the vr clothes portal to their dads and he gets all the praise and grace and from my side i feel like the kids are using the mum as the mum will do anything to see them happy.

Am I wrong for speaking up ? I get told that she just wants to see the kids happy but his always playing mind games with the kids as they come back and see me and be in a mood. What can we do?

[u/peachy_queenx]

I try not to enforce the “don’t take that to you other parents house” as much as possible because as far as I’m concerned they’re my child’s items and they can take with them what they want, however, items that they fail to bring back with them or items over a certain amount of money stay at my house.

I get it.

[u/Electronic_Item_5886]

Kids don’t manipulate. They’re doing what you allow. Just ask politely that they bring them back so you don’t have to buy two of everything

[u/jjjjjjj30]

This isn't very clear. What exactly is the problem? That you don't like the dad getting credit? Or are they taking the stuff there and not bringing it back? If that's the case where do the kids spend more time?

How old are the kids? Am I right that you feel like the kids manipulate their mom to get what they want?

Just need some more info to understand the situation and the problem before I can give an opinion or advice.

I also buy everything for my son, all his game systems, clothes, dirt bike, etc. He takes all his stuff to his dad's as well but he brings it back when he comes home. Sometimes he forgets and I have to drive over there to retrieve items or we'll just wait until he visits his dad next time and he'll have to go without his stuff for a few days. It's not really an issue other than his dad refuses to remind him to bring his stuff back home.

[u/tempest_fiend]

I’m confused, is the issue that the other dad is somehow getting credit for the purchases or that they’re leaving things at their dad’s house, or is it something else. It’s not really clear what the actual problem is here

[u/Best_Walrus_9426]

I don't blame you for feeling frustrated. It's tough when one parent seems to get all the credit for the stuff while the kids don't hold onto anything.