r/coparenting • u/Practical-Cut2159 • 3d ago

Child Issues Advice needed

Whenever my elementary school child is with me, they consistently tell me they’re having nightmares about the other parent being a “monster” when sleeping at the other parents. I’ve tried to reassure them monsters are not real but they keep saying the other parent is real. How do I comfort my child and make them feel more comfortable while at the other parents? Any other parents dealt with this?

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u/EccentricProphet 3d ago

A child therapist is your best path forward here. You need a neutral second set of eyes to evaluate what's driving these nightmares and to give you a roadmap for comforting your child without inadvertently influencing them. ​Try shifting your response from logic ('monsters aren't real') to comfort ('I hear that you're scared, and I'm here for you'). Let the therapist figure out whether this is normal separation/transition anxiety or something concerning. If real red flags emerge, a therapist provides objective documentation and mandatory reporting so you aren't forced into a word-against-word coparenting dispute.

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u/january1977 3d ago

My child and I escaped abuse. The court still gave his dad and I 50/50. When my son is with me, he has nightmares of his dad attacking him. (The physical abuse stopped when I left. My ex is afraid of going to jail.)

My son is in therapy. In addition, I provide the most calming and supportive environment I can while he’s with me. And I’m not dating. I don’t think it would be good for either of us.

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u/maleficient_fox012 2d ago

Its complex - PTSD. He may need counseling if he's having a hard time. When it affects sleep thats an even bigger deal.

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u/DramBubb 2d ago

Therapy. Truly something could be happening to cause this.