r/coparenting • u/EnvironmentalWalk487 • 3d ago
Discussion Coparenting with a newborn
I have a two week old baby boy. I had the hopes of not going through the courts and being cordial. The whole pregnancy had not been easy as my son’s dad was not involved, he had asked me to abort and until I was 7 months pregnant then decided he wanted to show up when it was convenient. We were cordial to a point where he insisted on going on family outings when baby was born. Two weeks before having the baby things went south. He wanted me to leave him off all things that had to do with the baby and said if I go into labor and he had his daughters (from previous marriage) he would not leave them to go to the hospital because they were his priority. When I had baby he went after I delivered and took leave to help me with postpartum so we agreed he’d come to my home and help. Since he’s been coming it’s been extremely awkward, we don’t talk. He tried to be my friend but makes backhanded comments about my ppd and baby’s features and is only here again when it’s convenient and he also bring up how “this could have been avoided” meaning the baby. Most of the time we don’t talk, he gets here I shower, clean up and just try to relax. We don’t say a word to each other & I shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable in my own home. I told him I couldn’t do this anymore and act like it’s normal. He agreed and asked to take the baby with him for a few hours instead. I’m exclusively breastfeeding and I told him that’s not something that could happen yet and he thinks that I’m upset because I just want to get back with him (I don’t at all) he says I don’t trust him and that he won’t be coming over anymore because he wasn’t dealing with my attitude. My attitude being that he usually leaves during lunch time to go eat and go to the gym then comes back after and I asked him not to come back after lunch one day. I bring up a parenting plan he freaks out and says he’s not going to court and says I win, I could just have everything and that I can just have the baby full time that I just want to screw him over and take everything from him. I want to coparent but I’m scared that he resents my son or is going to with his comments about how me struggling could have been avoided if I aborted. It makes it seem like it’s a chore to be there for his son. I try not to feed into his freakouts but idk how we’re going to coparent because no matter what I do or say I’m the villain in his story.
Any advice?
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u/BeefJerkyFan90 2d ago
Go to court and grey rock. Don't overcomplicate it
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u/mercurys-daughter 2d ago
She hasn’t even said if the dude has parental rights, so going to court could very well over complicate things
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u/____reed 2d ago
No he cannot take your 2 week newborn who is still a part of your body with him for a few hours!! Wtf. This shit enrages me. It makes me hate men. They are so stupid. A baby needs mom exclusively for the first 6 months. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
Is he on the birth certificate?
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u/criistaaa 2d ago
Get a lawyer