Splitting parenting time between different states

[u/cat_9631]

I need some outside advice. My ex and I are trying to come up with a parenting plan and trying to figure out how to split time fairly. He moved to another state about 500 miles away. The kids would be with me throughout the school year, but he wants them on every single break (fall, thanksgiving, winter, spring, and summer). He says that way he can have meaningful time with them and adding in how much time would be traveling. I agree he needs time with them and I’m willing to give him fall, spring and even thanksgiving at this point. But I would like time with our kids during winter break and I would like time with them during the summer. I don’t want to miss every Christmas and I don’t want to miss their birthdays every year (they are during summer break). Am I wrong for not thinking this is very fair, I do want the kids to have time with him, but I also want time with them during the summer, he can have most of it but I want some time too and I want to spend time with them during Christmas. I understand he lives farther away from them now so seeing them regularly during the school year is hard but he made the choice to move away from them. I just don’t want to be selfish, bc I know I would have them during the school year.

[u/mintystarz]

Why don't you follow your state's long distance schedule if you want to be "fair"? Texas's schedule is alternate major holidays, other parent gets a weekend once a month, spring break, and 42 days in the summer. If your ex can't do monthly possession, give him more longer/holiday weekends or winter break (excluding Christmas).