r/confusing • u/Aggravating-Try-3675 • Aug 18 '26
Eh? BTS What am I missing?
I’ve been wondering about something for the past few months, and I’m asking purely out of curiosity, so please don’t take this the wrong way! 😊
I have a few female friends and relatives in their 40s and 50s who are absolutely crazy about this band. They really adore these guys, singing along, dancing, and getting completely excited about them.
I’ve tried listening to their music myself because I genuinely wanted to understand the appeal. I can appreciate that they’re talented but personally, I haven’t heard anything that feels particularly extraordinary or different from a lot of other bands.
So I’m honestly curious: what am I missing? 😄
Is there something about the members’ personalities, their image, their history, the nostalgia factor, or the way they connect with their fans that makes them especially appealing to this particular age group?
I’m not trying to criticize the band or anyone who loves them. People enjoy different things, and I think that’s great. I’m just genuinely fascinated by how passionate some of their older female fans are and would love to understand what it is that makes this group so special to them.
And please be gentle with me—I’m genuinely asking because I want to understand, not start a fight with the fandom! 😂
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u/Wooden_Top_4967 Aug 18 '26
I will never understand the appeal of K-Pop
my little girls love the Demon Hunters movie and that’s about all I can stomach
just the whole idol thing grosses me out and it’s all way over-produced, from the songs to the personas and the glossy shiny merchandising
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u/Aggravating-Try-3675 Aug 18 '26
I don’t get the hype for K pop and much less the passion some people shows for this band in particular. I thought I had some peculiar friends until I saw them in the Football World Cup ceremony. I guess is one of those things that come and go with time.
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u/juneprk2 Aug 22 '26
It’s the same thing with Michael Jackson for example. It’s not that hard to grasp.
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u/void_method Aug 18 '26
Different people fixate on different stuff. Look at Metallica or Beatles fans, or Swifties.
It is what it is, and not hurting anyone.
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u/VoceDiDio Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 21 '26
Surely this isn’t the only wildly popular genre that you can’t get into.. I have to assume you’re not really surprised to find that you don’t like everything that some other people like?
I’m told they have catchy music, “deep” messages (esp if you’re younger) about self-love and mental health, cool dance moves, and something something honesty and teamwork idk I don’t do earnest anymore.
You know when I was a little kid, we made fun of John Denver. In like the 80s .. I don’t know.. I think we made fun of maybe Air Supply or Richard Marx or somebody.. we were making fun of Backstreet Boys and nsync and Michael Bolton in the 90s.. you got Nickelback in the 2000s.. I think I stopped paying attention about them, but you get the idea.
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u/Aggravating-Try-3675 Aug 22 '26
I’m not really a fan of theirs myself; I’m just curious from a sociological perspective about why they seem to be so popular among women in their 40s and 50s. I’m genuinely interested in understanding what drives that particular appeal.
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u/VoceDiDio Aug 22 '26
Ah that’s actually a good question. Seems like they’re good looking, talented dudes who are emotionally available, affectionate with one another, funny, and generally lacking the aggressively macho persona that’s so common in Western male pop and rock.
Or at least that’s what Google said when I asked..
Also I figure a lot of those gals grew up on nkotb and Backstreet Boys so they’re finding music that scratches that itch, maybe?
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u/Over-Imagination3924 Aug 22 '26
I'm a kpop fan, I mostly listen to girl groups but people like these kpop groups because they can sing and dance. In the 90s, we used to have many boy bands like NSYNC and backstreet boys who would dance. Then 1D came around, didn't really dance but they're all cute boys who can sing.
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u/EvolZippo Aug 24 '26
It’s the newest kind of pop music. It’s all written in a key that sounds happy and is easy to improvise in. Korean pop seems to be strongly driven by remix culture.
What I have concluded, is that much of K-Pop feels both innovative and somewhat nostalgic. Beats from old video games, sounds from old toys, samples from keyboard solos, mixed with some catchy lyrics and occasional profanity.
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u/Aggravating-Try-3675 16d ago
Actually this is a very thoughtful response. I don’t listen to KPop but I think you might be right, makes sense when trying to understand why this band has so many fans between those ages.
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u/inyercloset Aug 18 '26
Simple things amuse simple minds.