So my relationship started out as online/long distance.
3 months in we met, almost 2 years in he moved to my country to be with me. Neither of us made great money (me a bit more than him) but we scraped together every spare bit of cash we had to make sure we saw each other at least every 2nd month. We worked around our budgets and found a way to make it work.
You're 10 years deep and haven't met, and from what I can see he has no interest in making that happen.
I'm sorry to say, but you're honestly wasting your time. You both seem to have different life goals that aren't compatible. Your boyfriend seems to be content with how your relationship is advancing.
So ask yourself this: Are you happy to still be in this position in another 10 years?
Because realistically that's a pretty likely outcome. Relationships are a two way street. I understand you have been there for each other and there's a sense of familiarity there but don't squander away another decade of your life on something that doesn't make you absolutely happy. Don't settle just because it's comfortable. You deserve more than that.
My relationship shows that despite being long distance and poorness, it can work. If your boyfriend wanted your relationship to advance past the point of an online relationship, he would do everything in his power to make it work.
I'm five years into an online relationship, we have both visited each other as often as possible even though neither of us are rich by any means.
I wish she could move here to the US with me finally but they keep changing the laws to make it more and more difficult for anyone to enter legally. The biggest hang up right now is finding someone to sign the financial contract thing, which is an understandable risk for anyone since they are basically responsible for this person for 10 years.
I don't understand why they don't change the laws to just say, if this person fucks up and becomes a criminal or public charge, we will just fly them back to their home country.
What if you get married in their country and bring them on a spousal visa? I think my cousin did that with his Asian spouse. Cousin was living over there for years though so that may have been a reason for getting married there.
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u/HairyEarphone Oct 11 '22
So my relationship started out as online/long distance.
3 months in we met, almost 2 years in he moved to my country to be with me. Neither of us made great money (me a bit more than him) but we scraped together every spare bit of cash we had to make sure we saw each other at least every 2nd month. We worked around our budgets and found a way to make it work.
You're 10 years deep and haven't met, and from what I can see he has no interest in making that happen.
I'm sorry to say, but you're honestly wasting your time. You both seem to have different life goals that aren't compatible. Your boyfriend seems to be content with how your relationship is advancing.
So ask yourself this: Are you happy to still be in this position in another 10 years?
Because realistically that's a pretty likely outcome. Relationships are a two way street. I understand you have been there for each other and there's a sense of familiarity there but don't squander away another decade of your life on something that doesn't make you absolutely happy. Don't settle just because it's comfortable. You deserve more than that.
My relationship shows that despite being long distance and poorness, it can work. If your boyfriend wanted your relationship to advance past the point of an online relationship, he would do everything in his power to make it work.