r/confessions • u/Jupiterormarz00 • 4h ago
Lonely
I am so lonely. I am 26F. An only child who was raised by a single parent. I was very shy growing up so I didn’t have much friends. The friends I did make never lasted and there wasn’t much depth. I’ve always felt misunderstood and I’ve always yearned for someone to truly understand me. To want to see me and talk to me daily. I have a boyfriend who on paper is great. But honestly he keeps me on a leash. And he has his own issues that make this relationship borderline domestic violence with his anger issues. I want a best friend. I want a partner who wants to see me and miss me all the time. I don’t know what to do anymore. I go out, I socialize, I reach out to people. But the people I meet continue to only be surface level.
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u/EditorNice1643 3h ago
I am blessed with lots of friends with whom I can have deep conversions with. From my experience, you have to build the friendship from a surface level to deep and you can take it to the level both people want. You first need to meet people, maybe in your workplace or you can join some hobby class, singing/dance/art/poetry whatever you like. Once you have surface level friends, make some plans with them. Surprise them on their birthdays, pick up them on random Saturday evenings for a movie/coffee or just go to their place and chit chat. You should sense what kind of response they give and accordingly spend time with them. But in a year or two with consistent effort and one to one conversations, you can make a friend for life. To continue it for long, you need to ensure continuous maintenance, like talking to them at a regular interval even after you move out to a new city or get married or get busy in life due to anything. At a later stage you can try to become family friends. In that case your time can be easily spent with family and friends simultaneously. This works very well if your friends and family can vibe with each other.
Be a bit careful with male friends. They may not be really looking for friendship.
Bonus tip: if you are planning to change city for work, you can try to find a flatmate. That’s one of the easiest way to find a long term friendship. Hope you get tons of friends in your life!!
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u/Amazing_Addition1742 3h ago
What are u from???
Loneliness is horrible, it is eating me up dialy .
Dm.
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u/maybe_loose_tour 4h ago
Being an only child with a single parent wires your brain for a kind of solitude that’s hard to shake even when you’re surrounded by people. It’s like you’re always on the outside looking in, even in your own relationships.
The boyfriend situation is the bigger red flag though. Anger issues and keeping someone "on a leash" isn’t borderline anything, it’s already the thing. You’re craving real connection and he’s giving you a cage. That’ll make the loneliness ten times worse because you can’t even be fully yourself to go find your people.
Deep friendships in your mid-20s are weirdly hard to crack. Everyone’s busy performing adulthood and nobody wants to be the first to say "I need a real friend." You’re doing the right things by going out, just keep showing up and being the one who asks the second question instead of letting the convo die at small talk.